Painting

Sometimes, it is difficult to see the success of others without feeling I have failed, myself. I visited the house of a friend from high school this weekend. Not only is it a new-build, but it is a ridiculously expensive new-build. And, of course, everything within it looks perfect. And fancy, expensively simple.

Our house is not like that. I don’t think I want that specifically. But I know I don’t want to have five different shades of white on our baseboards and door trim throughout the house… which we seem to have.

We took in a paint sample from one door trim, and it matched perfectly… one side of the trim. The outside of the same doorway id a different shade of white, as are all the other doorways in the house. I went through to touch up all the chips and marks I couldn’t clean off of them, only to discover afterward that they all seem to be slightly different shades of white.

Somehow, it just makes me really sad right now.

And even more frustrated at myself for not having my career better sorted, such that I could take care of my family financially…

Also, my phone keeps getting worse. Now, the period seems to feel like not working very well, all of a sudden… So, there’s that financial frustration, too.

God, help me to heal and to find what is next for me, such that I be my best self and take beautiful and good care of my family and myself. Thank you for this chance toward growth. Help me to see clearly what you are calling me to do. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024