So, as the ocean waves rise and fall, perhaps I am experiencing my rage finally start to crest. I can’t talk about certain aspects of all my work nonsense without bursting into flames of fury on the inside still, but all of it as a whole is much easier for me to handle now. Perhaps because I’ve been sharing about it with others, openly. I’m finding clearer and clearer ways to express what happened, and concisely, too. Plus, folks who care about me are getting to understand why I have been struggling so much. It has been helpful. And I haven’t been mean about it. There was the one lunchtime right after my meeting, when I was beyond furious, that I didn’t handle it all too kindly, but I am not upset about it, and none of my feelings or words then were actually false – they were fully true, just not tamed or organized into respectable phrasing yet. I accept the initial blunder with my fury expressing itself then. Now, I am on a whole new level of being able to communicate it all well and without nastiness. I am grateful for that, at least.
Perhaps, one day, I will be able to trust fully in God that the parties responsible will reap what they sowed this year and that I will find my place in the world of work.
God, help me to be fair and kind these next three weeks, please. Keep my husband safe, please. Help him to find ease and joy in his studies. Help us both to return to the fitness levels we truly want to have, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 