Someone mentioned to me how what a priest said had changed things for the better for him. The priest had told him, “God doesn’t want your spare time.” The idea was to set aside prayer time intentionally, not passively to seize upon an available few minutes or so here or there.
However, this hurt. I had been excited to share that I was praying daily. I was especially excited to share that I was specifically praying the rosary daily, which is not a super short or no-big-deal single prayer. It’s a whole chunk of prayers. And I love praying it now, but it is definitely not a spare time kind of quick prayer. But I pray it while in the shower each night. I have a recording that helps keep me on track, and it also helps me with not taking too long of a shower so often as I once was used to do. I was grateful and excited to have found a way to include prayer into my daily routine. It was no accident. It was intentional. But it was while doing something else, and so was considered ‘spare time’.
Now, I know he didn’t mean it rudely. He had meant it to be encouraging, that there is more to get out of prayer life when we are intentional about it.
But it hurt. I was very intentional about the rosary every day. I had found a way to be consistent with it, which is huge for me – I have had very little consistency in my life the past several years. My bedtime routines are pretty much the only consistency I consistently have. So, this was intentional for me. It was not my spare time.
However, I have thought much on this beyond just how the comment and the idea made me feel in terms of my own prayer routine. I have thought about the idea itself, that God doesn’t want our spare time. And I believe that is false.
I believe God wants all our time. Every amount of time we give to Him, I believe that He is both glad and grateful. Any of our time is welcome with God. Yes, He rejoices in our intentionality in life, purposely spending time with Him in prayer. But I believe he also rejoices when we turn to Him in our spare time. Every bit of time with Him is a blessing for us. And I believe He sees it as a blessing for Himself. He wants us as much as possible to be with Him. And He does not resent us when we do not choose Him in a given moment or plan. He loves us nonetheless. And every time we choose Him, He is glad. Every time.
So, God wants our intentional time, yes. But He also wants our spare time. He wants us. Period. And He wants us to choose Him freely, every time, spare time or not.
Thank you, God, for being with us. Thank you for structured prayers. Thank you for listening. Please, help me to continue to heal from this nausea, and make our baby safe and well as she grows to join us actively in January. Thank you for this blessing. Help us to find ease and grace within it. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 