Family

We have a big reunion every summer for the extended family. It is meant to be for all descendants of my great-great grandparents. My mom and I go every year. My cousins and aunt and uncles all used to go every year, too. After my Opa got sick and didn’t go anymore, though, most of them stopped going. I asked my one cousin today if she was planning to go this year. She just moved about twenty minutes or so away from where the reunion happens. She has never lived anywhere near this close to it. She said that she only ever really hung out with her brothers and with me at the reunion, not the extended family. So, she isn’t going.

I’m still going. It’s also a great and loving environment and a practically free party, Mass included with all family. But that seems to mean nothing to her. And that is very sad to me. It isn’t like she comes to spend time with me in recent years. So, we aren’t hanging out at any other time. The reunion was always a guaranteed time we got to spend together. Until she decided not to care about it. Same with her mom. Now, I rarely see them. And, if I do, it is in very quick passing, maybe an hour or so at most, and never for much one-on-one time, anyway, since they’re only around to visit my grandma in the first place.

Basically, I already rarely see any of that family. After Grandma is not around, I genuinely see no chance of seeing them anymore. They mostly make no effort. I always seem to be an afterthought – ‘Oh, we’re visiting Grandma right now, in case you want to drop everything and come here to see us briefly’. I have made effort in the past. Given that they’re not even interested in driving twenty minutes – after we drive three hours – to come hang out with us and have a great time, it makes it feel hard to consider making much effort in the future.

It just is sad to me. I was excited to have my cousin close again. But I see her just as often now as when she lived forever away, and talk to her rarely.

Anyway… it also hurts that they don’t care about the reunion. It meant a lot to my Opa, sure. But it meant a lot to us, too. I go for my own experiences, not because my Opa cared so much about it. Because I care about it. And the food. The food is really good.

Anyway, I’m sick and ir sucks. Goodnight.

God, help me sleep well at night, tonight especially, please. Help me and the baby to be well and healthy. Heal me of the nausea. Help my husband find your grace and ease in all of this. Keep him safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024