I am very glad we attended. However, it was a bit odd at times. I didn’t have a sign to announce that I am pregnant, so people mostly found out by taking directly with me or my mom. Some people then told others, but others didn’t necessarily. At one point, just after dinner was being served, but we hadn’t had food yet, I hit a wall energetically, emotionally, and in terms of feeling sick. I was stopping by my husband to ask him to go get our food. One relative by him was suddenly trying to make me smile, since I wasn’t, since I was massively miserable. I told her something like that I really wasn’t feeling well and now wasn’t the time for me to put effort into smiling. She pushed on it. I told her I was pregnant and miserable and really struggling at the moment. She then tried even harder, taking about the miracle growing and all that jazz, and isn’t that an even bigger reason to smile now?? I then was about to start crying. I was not okay, my husband hadn’t turned to me yet, so I hadn’t asked about the food, and I was now feeling pressure to be okay when I very much was not okay, and forgetting why I had even stopped. So, I excused myself to go sit down, because I needed to sit down.
I walked over to our table, sat at a chair, and put my head straight on someone’s bag on the table. It was too bent-over a position for my stomach, so I shifted to leaning on my hands, my elbows on the table. Almost immediately, one of my mom’s cousins across the table form me asked if I was okay. I couldn’t respond, because I really wasn’t okay, physically or emotionally. She then quickly was in the chair next to me, hand gently on my back, asking again. I managed to pick up my head and look at her. She was extremely worried. I said something like, ‘You don’t know yet, do you? I’m pregnant.’ Her whole face changed. She got it immediately and knew that I was both okay and not okay. She was also excited and asked when I was due. Before I could even begin to reply, her husband, directly across the table from me, replied, “January.”
I very gently chucked, while she was shocked and whipped her head to her husband. ‘That’s why I would have thought you’d know already,’ I told her. Because her husband knew. I had talked to him well over an hour ago about it. But he apparently had said nothing to her! It was kind of silly to all of us.
She then asked if there was anything she could get for me. I directed her to where my special water was, where I had originally been trying to go before stopping to ask my husband to get food, and she rushed off to go grab it for me.
Someone else then sat down next to me with a plate of food to eat, and began asking if I was okay, gently rubbing my back. I slowly tried to reply. Then my water was there, and so was my mom and another of her cousins. Apparently, the security officer had asked someone if I was okay and had said he’d been watching me and was worried. So, that cousin had said she’d grab my mom, and then did.
I told my mom that I had just hit a wall, and then the one older distant cousin had tried to make me smile when I was not at all up to it, and it just made me want to cry on top of being miserable already. Of course, my mom cut me off at first, “You hit a wall?!” and I had to clarify that it was metaphorically, not literally, which took even more energy.
But the special water helped, and my husband then came over and asked if he could/should cut the line. I told him absolutely to do so, and he could tell the line people why, because I needed the food asap. When he was back a few minutes later with food – and then another couple minutes later with the utensils – and I was finally able to start eating, I started to feel better almost immediately. Within minutes, I felt tolerable. Another ten minutes and I actually felt okay again.
Nonetheless, it was a bizarre time at times. But I had some great conversations with certain people. Young mothers all knew instantly that I was pregnant and struggling. They shared very encouraging words. The older moms all seemed totally oblivious even to the possibility. For some, it took a couple times saying it before they understood the words coming out of our mouths. Haha
But it was a good time as a whole. I am glad we went.
I don’t feel so well now, going to bed, but it is quite late, so that likely is playing a part.
Dear God, please, help me to sleep well tonight. Make me and our baby safe, please, growing well together through your blessing. Keep my husband safe, please. Thank you for our family. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 