I somewhat secretly wish that my husband and I could get ready for bed together and go to bed together at night. Like in the movies, I suppose. I guess I had always longed for that set of interactions each night, whenever I one day had a husband. But his schedule just won’t align with mine, no matter how much I seem to change my schedule (and get less and worse sleep).
I have told him this, of course. But the only thing that has changed is how terribly and how little I sleep. And I’ve started giving up and just going to bed and not even seeing him some days.
Granted, being pregnant and on summer vacation has messed with that for me, and my extra-loneliness has made it very hard for me to go to bed in my own, especially now that I’ve been sleeping alone (remember that he tosses and turns and snores a lot when he is on little sleep, and I was sleeping almost not at all because of his nighttime tossing etc., so he’s been sleeping in the other room and I’ve been semi-miserably propped up against a pile of pillows in the middle of our bed, alone, out of necessity. So, I stay up very late in order to spend time with him, since I’m extra-lonely and I don’t have work each morning right now.
But I go back to work in a week and a half, and I am finally starting to be able to sleep more than a restless hour at a time. So, I need to sleep in a normal range for myself again. And this naturally means I will see less of my husband. But I will be getting better and more sleep, which is better for me and for the baby. So, there’s that.
God, help us find a middle ground, please. Heal me of this nausea while making the baby grow well and safely. Keep my husband safe, please. Grant us all ease through your grace. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 