The crucifixion – the fruit of this mystery is perseverance.
……
Praying the rosary tonight, it hit me that my current experiences have felt much like my own personal version of Jesus’s path to and through crucifixion. I am currently in great suffering. It has felt many times like I cannot do it. I have prayed to God to release me from the torture, yet have trusted and accepted His will and have longed for a successful completion of these miserable steps, for I believe there is much love and joy and glory on the other side of it all. Especially tonight, it occurred to me how much it does tie into the crucifixion, though. The I that I am and have been will not be the same I on the other side of this all. As Jesus did, I will have to suffer further torment on the cross that I currently carry, and I necessarily will cease to exist, all for God’s will. And, through that death, I will be reborn as the resurrected self, the ultimate version of myself that God has always been calling me to be.
Take it as you will. This just happened to occur to me tonight. And the perseverance part of it felt entirely valid for me. Plus, the carrying of the cross has the fruit of patience. Talk about having patience right now… we have six more months of only God knows what suffering, followed by a guaranteed difficult event, before we reach the glory of God.
God, grant me the patience to accept this timeline and this suffering exactly as they are. Relieve me of this nausea, if it be your will. Make this baby well. Keep me and the baby and my husband safe, please. Hold us in your hands. Help us to be our best selves each day and night. Thank you for this life and this love. Help us to embrace them both fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 