Today was a service day for me and a few other teachers, along with one grade of students that we all teach. When we arrived at the place, and old colleague I used to visit regularly across campus – at my previous school, that is – was walking out of the building as we were preparing to unload our busses. I called out to her from the open bus door, as I leaned over the railing wall in front of my first row of seats. She was excited to see me. I confirmed she wasn’t leaving, and she told me that she works there. I knew she would be even more excited when she saw me clearly and up close. Sure enough, she was absolutely thrilled and congratulated us.
We ended up spending most of our time under her direction, and it was lovely to reconnect and just hang with her. There was one point that I said to her, “You are such a boy mom,” because of how she had interacted with and spoken to one of the girls. She wasn’t mean at all, but she had been straightforward and a touch fierce in a way that these girls were definitely not accustomed. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the girl hadn’t been incredibly embarrassed and even cried a bit over it. Her words and sentiment were both valid and important, but girls are much more sensitive than boys when t comes to corrections. What’s more, these girls aren’t accustomed to being accountable for their behavior or to thinking of others first, let alone being made aware of the rudeness of their own behavior. I loved that she called out the student on it, but it was also clear that she wasn’t used to girls. It was hilarious to witness, and also a touch vindicating.
The time there was a good experience as a whole. Though, the bus ride home was hard on my body. But the chatting with girls on the way home was awesome.
Then, the other teachers decided we were allowed to leave once the students had been dismissed, even though the school placed official work hours for all faculty this year – total waste of time, by the way, and infuriating… I get work done in the mornings, not the afternoons, and even more so these days while pregnant… but our hours are set to force us to work at the end of the day and not before school almost at all, so I get nothing done in the afternoons, because my brain and body are beyond done at that point, and I go sue the bathroom and stand and wait to be allowed to leave when other employees go waking by to leave. So, we a headed to the parking garage together and left school when we should have been allowed to leave in the first place. That was a huge relief.
Then I joined the Oktoberfest celebration at my grandma’s place, and enjoyed the food and drinks and company and atmosphere with her and my mom and my husband.
Then I got to snuggle with my husband on the sofa in a position that was actually quite comfortable for me. For about ten minutes, we just lay there together. He went ahead and placed his hand in my belly when we first lay down, and, sure enough, he got to feel some real and obvious baby movements. I was delighted. I only started to feel the clear physical movements a week or two ago, and they only became 3-D, meaning visible, two days ago. He had felt some tiny bumps the first night of it all, but I think it was hard for him to believe what he had felt. Today’s movements were much bigger ones, and I think it helped make it very clear that, no, I wasn’t just doing that myself. (He had said that the first night, ‘Isn’t that just you don’t that?’) It’s a crazy concept, and it still weirds me out, but I’m growing accustomed to it all pretty quickly, it seems. Even when the baby is clearly pushing repeatedly on organs or nerve clustered, I’m learning to adapt to the bizarre and slightly paralyzing events, merely pausing briefly while they happen and I readjust physically.
And then, he got up and I passed out hard core on the sofa. I woke up over two and a half hours later, and went to get ready for bed. So, I’m going to bed way later for me, but I’ve already had more than a couple hours of sleep. Hopefully, it will go well for tomorrow.
Now, it is just after eleven PM. I’m about to pass out again, and my husband is sitting in the bedroom with me, working on his computer and just being around me, because I asked him if he could tonight for a bit. It’s awesome. I have been feeling so lonely these days, so every bit makes a huge difference. And it’s really exciting to get to see my husband for a while right before bed, a time when he is usually heading off to the gym instead. But he already went while I was passed out on the sofa, and is back home for the night. My brain is at ease, knowing he’s home, and my body is at ease chemically, spending time with him hanging in the room with me. 🙂
All in all, today was quite a decent day. I had tough moments and times, like when I wasn’t sure that I wasn’t going to piss myself on the buss, or else have explode diarrhea. Or when it got really loud with the students while they had free time. But it was satisfying as a whole. It wasn’t exactly a good day, but it was a satisfying one. And I’m grateful for that.
Thank you, God, for the balances of today. Help us to be well and to be safe, please. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 