Getting nervous

I only have to go in in order to resign tomorrow, and yet I am still stressed about having to go to work.

Note** Also, interestingly, I noticed a while back that I have mostly called this place “work”. I almost never have done that with a school in the past. I have always referred to it as “school”, and have even not known what some has meant when I’ve been asked something about “work”… because I never really related to it all as work. I did work, yes, at school. But I loved teaching. It was hard at times, and took up a lot of my life and energy. But I truly liked it. It wasn’t work for me, exactly. But this year has very much been a different relationship for me. It has been work, and it has been dreadful. Most corporate job people can’t even understand my dismay and surprise, because they have always related to their jobs as work that pays the bills. My job has always been something I love that pays, at least, most of the bills. Outside jobs have been to pay the bills, but I also mostly have enjoyed the work involved with those, too. So, anyway, it’s been “work” this year for me, without even having consciously determined that. It just has come out so in every conversation and thought. “Work”.

Back to the main topic: I am getting nervous. It could go easily and well and it could go terribly and it could go anywhere in between. I think I just need to clear myself before arriving at the school in the morning, and spend my two minutes in a power pose (for literal confidence, given chemically by body positioning). Then I can go in and do what I need to do.

As much as I hope the head asks me to stay and work, so that I can have more pay, I see now that I truly don’t want to do it. I shall pray and allow God to guide it all. I trust Him.

God, help me to trust you tomorrow especially. Guide me to speak your words and have your actions tomorrow, that I be the person you call me to be, the best person I can be. Help me to communicate what needs to be communicated, and nothing else. Grant me your will lived out, please. And, if it be your will, please, help me to act with comfort, ease, and full confidence. Make me and the baby well, please, and keep my husband safe. Grant us your grace these next months especially, please. Help us to sleep well each night. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024