Month: November 2024

So, I can run a 5k, totally pregnant and without any training of any kind, but I can’t tie my own shoe or pick up a piece of ice from the ground or, even, get out of a chair without immense difficulty. I can barely ride in a car or enter a restaurant. Let alone carry something and then sit down without sounding like the big, bad wolf, huffing and puffing like I just did an 800m sprint. But I can run a 5k, apparently.

It’s just wild.

Thank you, God, for making me well and for keeping the baby safe and well. Please, make me and the baby and my husband well, and keep us all safe and in your love. Help us to be our best selves each day and night. Thank you for our home and the love of our families. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Well, we did the Turkey Trot this morning. And I actually ran the whole thing. Near the end, I had to slow down in order to encourage my running mate who had joined me just before the first mile marker. She is not a runner and this was her first run. She had seen me from behind and thought I was going the right speed, so had joined me. She had encouraged me verbally as she got by my side. And then she saw that I was massive and pregnant and her encouragements shifted to a bit more astounded yet still encouraging.

I ended up talking with her the rest of the race. And I hardly ever talk while running. I think it helped to distract me from my own physical desire to stop and just be done. I hadn’t exercised or run at all, not even a few meters, since May. So, this was a big deal to be just suddenly running, and to be running a 5k, and to be doing it all seven+ months pregnant.

Anyway, her presence helped me a lot, and so I didn’t want to abandon her right near the end. She was struggling big time on the last half mile, so I slowed up a bit, but always let running and made her keep up with me. I was borderline about to put my arm behind her and push her a few times, she was getting in her head and giving up, so close to the end. “I can’t do it.” Tell yourself that, and you’ll always be right. “I don’t want to do it,” or “I hate this, but I’m doing it anyway,” however, work quite differently on the brain. Like the girl in Miracle on 34th Street, “I believe. I believe… It’s stilly, but I believe…” We can acknowledge that we lack full conviction or that we believe it to be absurd, but we must allow ourselves to trust that it is still possible to accomplish the goal at hand.

So, yeah, I took a couple minutes or so longer than I had needed, but it felt good to stay with the girl and support her, especially since she had, likely unknowingly, immensely helped me for a good chunk of the course.

Anyway, here we have it:

Also, I may have eaten some bad tamales, as I have felt terribly sick to my stomach and chest ever since having them earlier for a late lunch. It has been miserable, and I still feel utterly dreadful.

God, thank you for this day and its blessings. Help me to heal well and quickly from the exercise and the food today. Make me and the baby and my husband well, please, and keep us safe. Make my family well and safe always, please. Thank you for your love. Help us always to live your love in our lives and be our best selves, the people you call us to be. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

A friend who knew she wouldn’t make the shower asked me today if I still most wanted the items marked on my registry as “Most Wanted”. She said it was a dumb question, but that sometimes minds change after the shower on what one wants most. I didn’t find the question dumb at all. It seemed entirely valid to me, as things change just with time and knowledge all the time. And I easily could have gotten alternate versions that I liked better or whatever.

Nonetheless, I let her know that I would check and get back to her. Just now, I sent her the following:

I think so! I just looked through it, and I was genuinely sad that I didn’t get some of them at the shower. Haha

I’ve been using Black Friday sales combined with the Amazon registry discount already for several of the most wanted things. Most people kind of ignored all the most wanted stuff. Maybe they just didn’t notice? Or they hate my taste haha

And I believe both options there. I think some people didn’t notice that items were marked as things I wanted the most, and some people just didn’t care for the things I wanted, and so got what they wanted instead. There definitely were a lot of people who seemed like they never even looked at the registry, considering what they actually brought. I think many of them probably didn’t plan ahead, and so needed to get something the day before the shower, at which point delivery wasn’t an easy option. Perhaps that can be the lesson for me: Always have a section to add at the last minute of in-store items for the late-ies to go purchase in person the night before the event. Because I had several items available at Target and Walmart on there. However, I think they mostly were purchased by folks right away, leaving only IKEA as an in-store option the day before the shower, and only a few medical-esque items at Target. Nothing fun anymore from the easily-accessed chain store.

So, yeah…

I am holding off briefly on an important Black Friday purchase, as I’m hoping my brother will come through and get one of these really fun and awesome (and incredibly useful and practical) items. That way, we get to be grateful to him and think of him every time we use it, and even send him photos of us using it, rather than just see it as another thing we got ourselves. I truly like the registry idea for something like this. Looking forward, as I use all these things that I love, I also get to be reminded of various people I love and who love me. So, I’m not just surrounded by things I love, but by an added layer of love from people, too.

Anyway, we shall see what happens here. He has almost a week to sort out if he’s gifting us anything, as the sale lasts until the first or so (need to confirm that).

I also like registries, because it’s fun to see what items resonate with others. I have always had fun getting items off registries. For my friend’s baby shower, my mom and I couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of the butt spatulas, so, of course, we got her that and the balm that goes with it. That was over five years ago, and I still remember it.

Also, for my half step-brother’s wedding, we bought them the 10′ ladder they requested on their registry. And we wrapped it and brought it to the shower ourselves. It was an absurd gift to give someone, in the physical sense of handing them a ladder and acting like it isn’t 100% obvious what the item is. But we found it both an incredibly practical and useful gift, and something fun and memorable to give. That was maybe 8-10 years ago, and I still remember it and enjoy the memory.

Anyway, I liked seeing the folks who picked things that related somehow to themselves. It makes it all the easier to remember them when we use those items. Others, it’s funny to see how they just went for whatever cost the right amount, and it’s a very random thing to relate to that person. Also very memorable. So, yeah. I like the registry and receiving gifts from it from folks.

And a lot of people didn’t follow the registry. I went ahead and did the no-receipt return at Target today. Lots came from there, but it was very much for things not on the registry, some of them having been intentionally excluded. My husband and I didn’t want to do it, but it just made sense. It was over a hundred dollars of items that I was going to have to figure out what to do with, some of them being things I truly disliked. So, hopefully that was the right move, and we don’t have any other no-receipt returns anytime soon at any other stores.

It felt good to be rid of that stuff, though I’m still a touch stressed about the no-receipt returns third-party monitoring program. I’m not scamming places, but the inhuman aspect of it basically sees it as such. I hate it. Ugh.

Anyway, goodnight. I have to do a 5k in the morning, because I thought it was a good idea for us all still to do it, following our tradition, even though I would be eight months pregnant at the time… so, yeah…

Goodnight.

Post-a-day 2024

I forget things a lot right now. I’ve been working on putting things into place to help me, but I forget so quickly these days, that I can barely get something put into the calendar before forgetting about it. Just figuring out where to put it on the calendar usually has me totally lose whatever it was in my mind. I’ve been feeling very much like I am just failing lately… failing a lot, big time. And I feel a lot of pressure around that. Pregnancy is supposed to be natural, part of our nature. So, how do I keep feeling like I’m screwing up all the time?

God, guide me, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

A question I ask my husband surprisingly often… do grown men just not like bathing themselves or cleaning their mouths? Because this seems to be a common trait that other women mention that they notice in the men around them, too…

Post-a-day 2024

I had to reach out to a friend today for some emotional-mental guidance. Long story short, people either didn’t follow the registry – remember that I worked in that thing for hours and hours, truly curated what I wanted surrounding us and our baby – or didn’t fill okie the registry properly when they bought things. So, I got a lot of ugly stuff and a lot of multiples of things I wanted but only as singles. And, to ice it, most people did not give me gift receipts. Actually, for the most part, the people who followed the registry perfectly and filled it out properly also gave me gift receipts. No… that’s not true. Even those people didn’t have them for the most part. Okay, so, three people followed the registry and filled it out and gave me gift receipts, and one person halfway followed the registry, but included her receipt for all the stuff, both registry and not, so I could return any and all of it, as desired. So, four people gave me gift receipts. Out of 40+. That’s quite shocking, really. I hadn’t even thought of that until just now. Wow. Just wild.

So, anyway, working through how to manage that. I messaged this friend about it all and said how I knew it was all totally fine and okay, but that I was still totally crying and felt dumb for it, plus I didn’t know what to do about it all. She was very helpful. She assured me that, when people go off-registry for their purchases, they are taking a risk called ‘I might not like it/want it’. And I don’t need to feel bad about not wanting the things. It isn’t a lack of gratitude. It is simply something I don’t like. I am still grateful for their love and support in the form of their presence and presents.

I just also don’t like gray clothes almost at all, and am very particular about colors and patterns in general. So, when they decide to get gray clothes because they don’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl – and let’s remember that I had a specially curated list of clothes and everything else that I provided to all – they can pretty much guarantee that they’re giving me something I will not like. It isn’t personal. It’s just strong preferences.

On top of it all, I’m working not to have a bunch of excess and superfluous stuff in my life already, and especially so for the baby stuff. So, it was a bit of a disaster in that sense for me emotionally to have a bunch of stuff we either didn’t want or need (or both).

I know it may seem silly, but I was genuinely excited at every registry gift I received. And I was grateful incredibly to each person who provided the item or items. That person was directly surrounding me with things that I love and that will be very helpful in my life in the near (and, sometimes, distant) future.

Anyway, supposedly Target will accept returns for items that they for sure sell, up to a certain amount. So, I’m hoping that will handle a good chunk of this stuff. I intend to look further into this before showing up to Target with a bag o’ stuff. Even if it is a $100 limit, that still would be incredibly helpful. (Ironically, there’s a lot of stuff I actually like in the Target baby section, though smirky clothing…)

Thank you, God, for friends and love and understanding and help. Make me and the baby and my husband well and fit, please, and keep us safe. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

I think it worked out. Sure, we had no cold beverages for the first half hour of the party, and everyone was trying to greet me while I was figuring out how to manage the dreadful and unexpected situation – my mom forgot to out the cold beverages in the fridge, where I had cleared out space for her yesterday specifically to put them last night, and we had almost no ice to gel the situation either. But I pulled out some big San Pellegrino bottles and a bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider from the outside fridge that had been there from our wedding, as well as some of the small plastic cups from the wedding, and that helped immensely until a family friend was able to go down the road and get us some bags of ice. Oddly, my mom had seemed almost disinterested in resolving the issue, though she had straight up caused it. She was just so focused on everything else on her list that was behind schedule (like having the food out and ready, as well as all the hot beverages out and ready), it seemed like her brain just didn’t care to process that no one even had water to drink. However, we got it sorted and everyone seemed to settle in pretty well, both in the house and in the backyard.

The weather ended up being warmer than I had hoped, but it was, fortunately, still cool enough for folks to be outside period, and several sat around the table on the patio under the umbrella to chat for a while (and others explored and checked out the chickens!). I managed to chat with most people, but not all. I was sad not to talk with one old co-worker in particular. But I was still incredibly happy that he had come. I was also delighted to see how he seemed so mentally and emotionally well and comfortable within himself, as well as how well he looked physically. I have never seen him so well on either front, and it was awesome.

I also didn’t get to chat much with my husband’s family folks who attended, but I did at least get to interact for a couple minutes with each of them. I guess it was kind of the same with a lot of folks. But I was just so happy they were around me, just greeting them and having them there was a blessing for me, and I was grateful for their presence and their love.

It was extra-great to reconnect with a few folks, and I am very grateful to have had that opportunity. I hope to maintain those reconnections, as they are absolutely blessings, each of them!

My husband’s gathering went well, too.

Side note: Everyone st my party raved about the the food. Many complimented the décor, too. My mom did a great job (aside from the cold drinks and no-water mishap at the start), and people seemed very satisfied with the event. It went a touch long for some folks, and my quite a third left before we even did the guessing game or opened presents, but it made it all the nicer and more intimate for those two events. It was definitely fun at that point(!).

Anyway, apparently around 13 or so guys showed up at the beer garden to join my husband. Some family on both our sides, and some friends. And then, as he was wrapping things up, a friend who had left my party had joined her husband over there, and they and my husband and my brother all had a couple rounds together, just the four of them. Though I felt like I was missing out, I was happy just chilling with my family at the house post-party and chilling. And I’m really happy that they got to hang together like that after my husband’s thing.

The friend who joined them apparently told my husband to return the diapers his brother had given him. 😛 She said they barely work and that we would hate them, so definitely return them. I thought that was hilarious, and also so my friend. 😀

Thank you, God, for today and it’s love and successes. Thank you. Please, make me and the baby and my husband well, and keep us all three safe. Thank you for my family and their love. Keep them safe, too, please. And grant ease, please, to all who attended today and shared their love with us – May it return to them tenfold through your arms. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

The party is in the morning. I have a lot to do in the morning, mostly things that involve sticking stuff where it doesn’t belong so that we have enough space in the public areas. But I should be okay getting it all done. Going to bed so late is a terrible start for it all, but here we are. 2:30am bedtime it is tonight.

God, help me to sleep well, please, and to have a great party in the morning. Make me and the baby and my husband well, please, and keep us safe. Help my husband to sleep well tonight, too, please, and to enjoy his time at his event tomorrow, too. Help us always to see and pursue and fulfill your will, being our best selves. Thank you for this home and this love and this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Didn’t get the guest room fully handled, but did get it to an acceptable form for my sister to stay with us. There’s a whole lot of stuff piled on the floor on the far side of the bed and on the desk, plus all the printer stuff and my husband’s work stuff song the wall st the foot of the bed. However, the whole left side of the room (and the bed, of course) is cleared and is open, usable space. All-in-all it isn’t terrible, but it rather decent. For a family member to stay, that is.

The rest of the house is looking quite decent, too. Still lots of little details to do tomorrow. Plus, my husband has a whole load of junk he has to do tomorrow. He will not have an easy day, to be sure. But I also have accepted that he picked doing it this way. He has had a very clear and prioritized and specific list available to him for quite a while now, several weeks at least. He has had plenty of chances to get it all done, and he picked putting it almost all off until the last minute. So, his stress is on him tomorrow. I love him and I support him. And I don’t have to take on his own lack of integrity or preparedness/planning ahead. I offered lots of support that was declined, and now I must continue my own work tomorrow to finalize things on my end.

God, help us both accomplish what we have on the lists for tomorrow, please. Grant us ease and peace and gratitude through it all. Thank you for this life and this opportunity. Help us to be kind and loving to one another and to others, tomorrow especially. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

We received our third little white egg today. Of the two new chickens, one is genetically a white-egg layer and the other is a brown-egg layer. So, we know which one it is, though we haven’t seen her lay any of the eggs or heard her make noise about them. Ironically, it is the white chicken, and she is half the size of the other. The blue-gray one will make brown eggs at some point. I’m not sure how much bigger she needs to get before hitting maturity for laying eggs, but it’s funny that the tiny one is laying now, the one picked on the the other chickens any time they’re all out in the yard… the one with the highest stress levels, most likely. But there we have it. Little white-y is laying little white eggs now, it seems, and fluffy blue is just chillin’ still. Haha

Post-a-day 2024