I ended up feeling pretty darn crappy again today. I didn’t accomplish much at home, but did manage some little bits. I mostly just sat in a chair on the driveway, hanging out while my husband worked on replacing some necessary parts of our driveway gate. It’s kind of an awesome gate. As I understand it, he bought a package of metal and bought fence pickets and 2x4s, and assembled and … I’m forgetting what it’s called when one works with fire and metal and fuses the pieces of metal together, but whatever that is… the pieces to create this awesome rolling gate the rolls neatly across our driveway to open and close at the click of a button. And it’s huge. The driveway is a two-car driveway, and the gate slides to cover the whole thing. It’s great. But anyway, he had to replace some old wood that was, sadly, rotting out on the gate. He said he’d gotten the wood second-hand, which apparently affected its lifespan. (Oh, yes, he had torn down some fencing to move the fencing to the border of the yard, instead of going through the middle of the yard, and used that fencing to help build the gate.) Hopefully, he parts he replaced today will hold up well for a long time, given that they are brand new (and treated).
Then I went and met my mom at the opera. Ran into an old teacher who turned into a colleague a few years back and his wife. They also were going to the opera, and it was lovely seeing them.
The opera was Verdi, so it was very opera. His shows always are. His music is passionate and powerful, and he’s usually making a point, somehow. Tonight’s “Il Trovatore” was no exception. Haha. It was physically tough for me, but it wasn’t too long of a production, so I managed. I was just really wiped out by halfway through. I actually wanted to go home, I was so tired, but I didn’t really want to skip the rest of the music. So, my mom and I shared a cool beverage, used the bathroom, and settled in for the last part.
It was funny, though. The baby usually starts to move whenever I settle down. When the second act was starting, the baby decided to move around a lot, going very 3-d, as I call it. But my mom wasn’t able to see it without her glasses on, and then the show was starting by the time she got them out.
But the baby kept doing some repeated bumping in a certain area up top, after the lights went down. So, I grabbed my mom’s hand a set it on the spot. Within seconds, the baby did the bump there again… and again… and again… For me, it is pretty normal. The baby has some phases it does, and this repeated bumping in a single spot happens every so often. But my mom ended up sitting there chuckling silently, as it was really cracking her up for some reason.
I hadn’t been sure she’d care to feel anything, as she’d never expressed any interest. But it seemed reasonable to give her the chance when I was pretty sure she’d get to feel the bumps. I was glad that she really seemed to enjoy it. Afterward, I gently flicked her arm, and she cracked up even more. The flick was very similar to the unidentified bumps from the baby. Just a random tap for no clear reason. On repeat. Haha Whatever, baby. Just keep it all gentle, and we’re on acceptable grounds.
I guess it probably reminded her of a dog (or person) who twitches while sleeping. Like a little sleeping tick, the foot just gently popping out every so often in the dream. Whatever the case, those are ones that are a touch odd but comfortable for me. It’s when the baby does these rolling-type movements that I struggle the most and wonder if I might hurl. When it stretches out and pushes slowly and strongly outward, that’s an odd one, too. Usually, it’s the butt or head that pushes outward. There are also the sudden flips and big jerks. Those suck. Anyone watching me can see when those happen, because my whole body jolts automatically from the shock of it. And tonight, we had one other movement that I sometimes get but that always sucks: when the baby rolls and stretches downward. My husband was making a face at me to get over whatever clearly was not a big deal when it was happening as I started to walk over to him tonight. I had to stop and lean over and try to get the baby to stop the movement, it was so uncomfortable. I gently but firmly pushed my fist into my husband’s gut just above the pelvic bone, and rolled my fist towards his body and downward. His face was not happy. ‘It pushes on the pelvic bone like that?!’ he questioned with extreme doubt. Yes, dear. Yes, it does. He couldn’t take it for more than a couple seconds. I wasn’t even pushing hard. I felt justified. Haha
Anyway, so, lots of general crap-feeling today. But I cleaned a possibly repaired the airplane mobile I’d gotten, tidied up a bit in the guest room, posted the shelf we are replacing on Facebook, and got most of the extra safe-related stuff moved to the top of the safe. (It isn’t stuff that needs to go inside the safe, and there isn’t room for it all in there, anyway. But it connects to everything in the safe, and it seems best to have everything be in the same place, at least for now, when I have no clue where else to put it, anyway.)
Tonight, I hope to sleep well. Tomorrow, I intend to work on the guest room shelving situation. We shall see what I can make happen in a single day. Oh, and I will take a photo of the baby box from Babylist. And put those things away after the photo.
God, thank you for this life and the love within it. Please, make me and the baby and my husband and mother well and safe. Help us to pursue and fulfill your will. Please, help me do best by this baby and by myself. Release me of the struggle, and have me experience the joy and miracle of all of this, please. Grant us a healthy and perfect and beautiful baby on the upcoming 11 January, in an easy birth at home. And, if it be your will, please have it be a girl this time. XX for all the healthy gene balancing for our first child to raise, please. Also, would you have people go ahead and rsvp to our shower tomorrow and Tuesday? Especially the folks who will not be attending. Thank you for everything. I love you and am grateful for you. Thank you for my husband and my mom and my dad and my grandma especially. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 