Yikes

Today was rough in a weird way for me. I woke up feeling unwell, but not exactly sick. I had slept for seven plus hours, but I used the bathroom and then went back to bed, because I didn’t feel well. I ended up sleeping until after noon.

I felt rested by the time I got up and stayed up. But I was shaking slightly because of how long it had been since I had eaten. It had been at least before I’d gone to bed, and I’d slept for almost half the day. I was also a bit out of it. I knew I needed to eat. I figured out what to eat. But I kept getting distracted and doing something other than finishing preparing that food. It probably took me around half an hour to heat up the oatmeal and actually start to eat it. I don’t even remember what I kept doing instead, but it was various things. I do remember that much.

When I talked on the phone with my mom, I struggled at the effort of talking and comprehending. I sat outside to eat, and even took off my shirt, so I could get as much sun exposure as possible on my body while I slowly ate. It did help, both the sun and the food. And I enjoyed hanging with the squirrel who kept getting on the table and checking if I had any nuts. After I finished eating, I had sat back in the chair just to digest and absorb sunlight for a bit. The squirrel actually came over and stuck its head in my bowl, checking for food, I suppose.

At that point, I went and got some nuts from the trail mix I’m not eating, and set them on the table. But the squirrel had wandered off for a bit, and I went inside to curl up on a chair and consider crying. By the time my husband got home maybe ten or twenty minutes later, though, the nuts were long gone.

Uhmm…. I’m too tired now to think clearly. I did it again, staying up too late working on the quilts. I only have the one here, as the other two are chilling at the friend’s house, waiting for me to go back over tomorrow to stick the front and back pieces together using the industrial sewing machine she has. It saved me hours upon hours of work and hassle yesterday, I am sure of it. It shall do even more tomorrow.

Anyway, I actually finished the one I have here. Fully. It is definitely not as nice and perfect as I had hoped, but I think it is still passable for what it is, and I think my dad will like it. I like it, in fact. It’s surprisingly good, given how inexperienced I am at making anything other than casual stitches on something simple for modification. Never a project like this one. No way.

But I finished it and I love it. I am proud of the accomplishment of it.

Oh. I cried when my husband got home and touched me. I was so worn down mentally and emotionally, somehow. And I felt physically like crap. But he touched my skin for a few minutes, which helped, and then I took a hot shower, which helped even more. Then we went and got our boots cleaned and shined as a miniature date together, which was short but sweet. That helped emotionally for me a lot. Then I came home and got to work on the quilt. I worked maybe 6-7 hours on it tonight. Totally nuts. Man…

Also, I’ve been having the Braxton Hicks practice contractions roughly every 30-60 minutes. It just adds to the exhaustion and feeling of being unwell, I think.

Thank you, God, for this life. Please, heal me. Make me and the baby and my husband well, and keep us safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024