My body is struggling. These Braxton Hicks contractions happening every 30-60 minutes is exhausting. They are also sometimes happening way closer together than that, too. I imagine it is like working out, though. My uterus and the stuff around it are working out right now to built their strength for when labor and delivery time come. It’s been two and a half days of their being so constant and close together. I am curious to see for how long they continue like this, as well as how soon we turn to labor and delivery. If it’s like any other muscle, it’ll be weeks before they’ve gained strength, I’d think. Maybe not, though. We shall see, though. We shall see.
My mind is also struggling. There’s a lot that I went to finalize in the next couple days, but that the midwife said I need to have finalized by the 30th, which is in ten days. I think I have hit a point where I need direct help, now, though. I have been working so hard to sort everything, and I am hitting my limits, not merely physically but mentally. My brain and my emotions are tired. And they’re tired of being so alone for all of this. I noticed that I have this fear that my husband won’t actually be as helpful and present as I have been thinking he will be once the baby is born. I have accepted his absence, both physically and mentally, these past months and, especially, these past few weeks, because I know he is working very hard on his schooling and is working to finish it asap and get a job in the field. But I have been just anticipating that that will shift once the baby is born, where things happen to be for his schooling and work and all. Perhaps he has no intention of that. I have no idea. Guess I need to talk to him on that point, and probably soon…
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 