Ugh

These aches are just a lot at this point. They aren’t simply on my whole body. They also are specifically tied to my womb doing these Braxton Hicks contractions all the time. I would have thought the muscle would be well built in strength by now, given that it’s been doing this for weeks, and at decreasing intervals all the while – every five to ten minutes for the past week just feels like more than enough prep, all the 30-60-minute intervals for the two weeks before that not included.

Nonetheless, my body is not happy these past several days, and neither has my brain been. I feel somewhat sick all the time, I’m sleeping so much. I’m mostly in bed – excluding bathroom breaks – for 12 hours each night now. And then I usually nap at least once during the day for an hour or few.

Anyway, letting go of my own will and giving it up to God.

Also, I got some news today that was both exciting and saddening and, slightly, depressing. I’m finding it hard not to be annoyed with most things right now, and this one just added to that bizarre headspace for me.

So, lots of ugh right now. Not to mention my own fears and concerns creeping up on me the longer this baby stays inside of me.

God, help me to trust you. Make this baby while and we’ll and safe, please, and help it to join us easily and naturally. Grant me a beautiful and comfortable and love-filled labor and birth experience. Keep my husband and me and the baby safe, please. Heal Jean, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.