I am still very sleepy, and it makes it very difficult for me – remember that I am still dealing with some physical recovery stuff, what with the discomfort in my vagina area and the abdomen still being separated – not to grow overwhelmingly frustrated with the baby at times, particularly when she is practically screaming due to digestive issues, and has been doing so for quite some time already. I told my husband finally that I have been overwhelmed to the point of wanting to throw her down and walk away. It isn’t a thought I welcome, yet it arrives nonetheless. I am very careful when such a thought arises, of course. But I think sharing this with him helped him to see how much I am still struggling. Yes, my body has improved greatly from where it started. No, it is not healed. Yes, my mind has improved greatly from where it started. No, it has not yet healed either. I still need more help than usual.
On the improving note, as well as the overwhelm, I went to the neighbors’ house around the corner this afternoon. I tried to go in the late morning, but they left for a while (despite the fact that she’s said she would be there all day and to come by whenever…). By the time they were back, I had a screaming baby. It took me an hour to handle that and to get her calm enough to get out the door. I had to bring all the stuff, because I didn’t want to risk needing something important and not having it. I also had to drive, because they live just far enough that walking wasn’t a smart option for me (though they’re probably only like ten houses away). And my husband had to out the car seat in the car last night for me, because I still can’t safely lift it.
Anyway, I was there about half an hour or so, then my husband joined us for another half hour or so once he was back from his testing. It was a really nice visit. Their baby is two and a half weeks older than ours, so we had a lot on which to commiserate and many fun and silly things to share, as well. It was a good visit.
But it also was very difficult for me to make happen.
I pray it will get easier for me to handle such a situation. Thank you, God, for this opportunity today. Thank you for helping me figure out how to use the carrier without pain. Help our baby’s bowels to heal. Make my husband and my baby and me well, please, and keep us safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
hannah ananas 