I feel and look fat. I don’t have flattering clothes to wear right now, which emphasizes that. I haven’t slept well or enough in a while, which makes everything feel worse. My hips hurt. My lower back aches. My shoulder and neck muscles have a burning ache in them. My nails are too long. I’m not sure where my daytime nail file is right now, but I desperately need it to be with me during the day right now. My hair keeps looking greasy. It also is getting way too dry from one of the shampoos or conditioners, but I’m not sure which. It also often looks gross. My groin alternates between a gently painful throb and a sharp, pulling sting. I can’t eat much easily due to allergens affecting the baby’s system.
Oh, and the baby screams terribly once or twice a day, and often when I am alone with her. It lasts for hours sometimes. I typically end up screaming-crying right alongside her before it’s done. I have terrible thoughts. I feel like a terrible parent. I can’t seem to accomplish anything other than nursing the baby and usually helping her burp and changing her diaper. So, I’m being a terrible housewife, and the house feels like a disaster. I’m miserable in my home, mostly because of that. I’m also being a terrible wife. My husband and I seem to be miserable together most of the time, mostly because of that.
And I still feel exhausted and beaten up. Not to mention all the pressure of that I should be better at any or all of this than I actually am, and that I feel like I’m just failing miserably at everything right now.
And I don’t know yet what to do about any or all of it. But I’m going to sleep for now.
God, help me to heal, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
hannah ananas 