Today, I’d scheduled my husband to go with me to the dentist, so he could manage the baby while I had my appointment. When it was coming time to get ready to leave, however, I offered for him just to stay home with her and see how it would go. He’d been somewhat successful with a bottle in the times we’d been practicing.
He readily agreed, and chose to run errands with her in tow.
At my appointment, I had a few moments of panic in which I’d thought I’d forgotten the baby in the car. But then my brain and body just embraced the lightness of not having to keep tabs on anyone else for the time being.
It was a freedom of independence I had not experienced in over a year, since before I got pregnant the first time. Actually, not true. I did feel it for those few weeks between the two pregnancies, after my body had recovered. Otherwise, though, it had been over a year.
Driving home, I had to call my mom to express my experience to someone who might get it. It felt amazing. Is this how my husband feels every time he goes somewhere?! I found myself thinking in mild outrage. It’s this easy for him to do things?!
I’d gone back inside to use the bathroom after leaving the office, and then got back in the car and headed out. That task alone would have been a slightly stressful one. I considered an errand on the way home, and the heaviness that has been present lately at the prospect of any stops on my own was completely absent – the idea created a light and free feeling in me. I almost felt wasteful for not making a stop somewhere that normally is difficult nowadays.
But I instead went home and sorted out the gym a bit and did some exercise. It was my first workout in almost a year. 11 months, I guess. May had my last workouts, I do believe… so wild.
Anyway, the workout felt great. It tired me just enough. I’d intended to do one more round of the movements, but they had gotten home and the baby was crying of hunger, and I had truly done enough for today, anyway. I didn’t need to push it quite that much.
I discovered that they had had a delightful time together, with her cooing and smiling for all sorts of photos and videos for my husband while he took her to Costco, Lowe’s, and Home Depot. Yes, we now have multiple photos of her in a Home Depot bucket. My husband even purchased her in a small bucket for only $2.98. Such a bargain compared to what we paid originally! 😛
Anyway, I passed out on the mattress in the living room after I fed her, I was so tired and sleepy. My husband made me dinner, but I didn’t eat it for a couple hours, as I was sleeping so necessarily. Now, I’m finally going to bed quite late, and am still very tired and sleepy. But in a good way tonight. I’m not going to bed worn down this time. I’m going to bed worn out. And that is a very important difference.
Thank you, God. Make us well and keep us safe, please, my husband and my daughter especially. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
hannah ananas 