“I had diarrhea again today,” I told him. He was empathetic. I told him that I’m not sure how to feel about it, but we’ll just have to keep an eye on it.
“Why’s that?” he asks
“Because I had diarrhea for two weeks both times I got pregnant.”
He bursts out laughing. I smile and begin to chuckle. He keeps laughing. His laughing is infectious. I ask him why he’s laughing. He barely squeaks out, “I can’t stop,” and continues laughing heartily, almost like a little kid who’s just heard the funniest of jokes. We are both laughing. It is a wonderful shared experience of laughter through the phone, and it goes on for minutes.
After we’ve calmed down, I ask him why specifically he was laughing. “We did it once,” he says incredulously. I remind him that that was what happened the other two times I got pregnant, too.
Later, I mention that it is all up to God, but that, if this is the case, then God has a sense of humor, and it’s a strong one(!). My husband agrees and says that that was why he was laughing.
Indeed, it would be humorous. But it also feels daunting. But then, having another pregnancy and newborn while already having another child under our care seems daunting at any time. So, not much difference now versus later, in that sense.
However, I found myself scared of not giving full care and attention to our daughter who is already here. I feel my entire being wanting to care for her and give her all of my caring attention. I don’t want to take anything away from her. The thought of splitting my attention away from her kind of terrifies me. I want the best for her. But then, I suppose, God does, too. And He would do what is best for her.
Jesus, I trust in you. Guide me clearly and safely, please. Make us well and keep us safe and together, please. If it is, make it whole and well, too, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
hannah ananas 