Struggles

Perhaps it is because I am currently dealing with a desire not to have so much physical stuff in my life, particularly in my home. But I had some trouble today with all of the physical stuff involved in the baby shower we threw. I think it easily could have been paired down by half and still been great. In terms of the effort it took, especially on my mom’s part and how draining it was for her to do, I think things would have been loads better if we had cut it all down by about half.

But it also has left me with a sense of concern around my mom. She always goes kind of over-the-too for events and such. But it felt like she purchased too much stuff this time for the décor. It overwhelmed her and prevented her from getting things done even close to on time, because there were so many tiny details everywhere that only she knew how to set up or arrange. And, more than once, a comment was made to me about how much stuff there was.

What’s more, a lot of it was not throw-away stuff. So, while potentially less wasteful for the planet, that means that all of that stuff now needs to find a home at my mom’s house. And I truly am started to feel scared for her. I’m not sure where the scared is originating. I suppose it is best to look at that first, before determining what, if anything, to do about all of it. I think it scares me because I can see how much it is all weighing on her now. I think it has always weighed on her. It just keeps increasing, and she keeps getting more and more tired from it all, as well as from getting older period. There is definitely a sense of its draining the life and energy and joy out of her. And then, indirectly, from those around her.

Thank you, God, for these considerations. Thank you for today. Thank you for my mother and for her passion and her good will. Please, help her to heal, and quickly. Grant her the freedom from this illness, that she live lightly and freely and passionately and fully self-expressed in the space she is able finally to create and to have around her all the time in life. Thank you for my family and for my home. Help us always to want, to pursue, and to fulfill your will with grace and joy. Show us clearly our next steps always. Keep us safe and well and together, please, especially my husband and baby and me. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025