Month: August 2025

KonMari Method, Imma comin’!!

And I am terrified and already wanting to evade the situation.

God, I pray that you give me the strength I need for this process to be successful and for me to clear and clean up our home, my mind, and this life as I go through this tidying process. Thank you for this life and this family and this opportunity. Help me to be my best self each day, always improving. Thank you. Please, keep my husband and daughter safe and well and whole and with me. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Either I need to do it right away or I need to write it down right away. I do a very good job remembering within the initial anticipated short timeframe. But, if it stretches at all beyond that original mental timeframe, my brain seems to dump it out the window, leaving only a vague memory of how I was supposed to do something about this something, but I cannot recall the specifics at all anymore at that point.

Ugh.

Post-a-day 2025

Too tired to care right now about much. So much to accomplish tomorrow and the rest of the days this week. And it feels like I can prepare for 90% of it not to get done, aside from keeping my child alive and well. Which, to be fair, that’s my number one job right now. But I’m miserably failing at my number two job of caring for the home, and the ensuing feelings about that really suck.

Post-a-day 2025

I am very, very tired and sleepy. But it was quite relieving to have the time with family tonight. We were mostly only just beginning to process through all of the emotions tied to the surprise situation, so there was a lot of negative stuff expressed. But we also all get that this is just the processing process, not our permanent thoughts and feelings about it all.

It was funny, though, when we were talking about how much dinner had cost – rather higher than an average dinner for any of us, though it was a lot of food that my husband and I will finish eating tomorrow and, possibly, the next day – my mom had said, just spit of the moment, “It was the processing fee.” Such a dad joke. Absolutely stellar. (Because it was dinner for us to get together to process things. And online ticket purchases always have a processing fee now that is absurdly high and unnecessarily so and that makes the ticket price feel super high as a whole. So, overpriced dinner, like overpriced tickets. Dinner for processing. High cost of dinner? Processing fee.) Haha

Yes, I am aware that I am a dork.

😀

Thank you, God, for the love and the family tonight. Please, help us all to process well and to heal well from all of this. Guide the house development to become the house and home I’ve longed for it to be, please. Keep us and our home safe and well, please. And keep our cars safe and whole, too, please. Thank you for everything. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Okay, some clarity was found. Now I don’t have to wonder so much. Sadly, what I feared was confirmed, and it is all rather nasty in my eyes. But I am now clear on it all and am not having to speculate and then feel bad about the negative speculation. So, positive progress in a super sad and mean situation.

But I trust you, Lord. Guide us clearly and lovingly forward in your will. Help us even more than usual to be the people you call us to be, to be our best selves. Guide us to build the homes and lives in which we long to live. Please, keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Seriously, what the eff????! What in God’s name is happening? Please, help me to see it, Lord? I trust in you. This is still very upsetting right now for the hurt it is causing to those I love. And it is scary. God, help us to find our way and your way, please. Keep us safe and make us well, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

I had a good happy hour with my rodeo committee. Good conversations. Good connections. Good prospects for our next steps as a family.

My husband had a good result from someone’s disrespect and stupidity at work today, after doing some research and standing up for himself. So, that was good, too.

The crick in my neck is still there, but is much improved. Also, good.

My head has started to hurt tonight… though, not as badly as it did the other day… haha. So, a good version of not good. Haha.

God, help us to heal, please. Heal our words. Heal our bodies. Heal our hearts and minds, please. Make us well and keep us safe, especially my husband and our daughter. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Today, as usual, I was searching online for airplanes, specifically for one to purchase. As I scrolled briefly through the listings on Facebook Marketplace – we do not expect to find one there, but I keep an eye out, just in case – I crossed a post that both baffled me and kind of freaked me out. It was a listing entitled “SILICONE DOLL”, all caps. Keep in mind, my search criteria are “airplane” with the price range of $1,250-$65,000. So, this doll listing is just suddenly there in the middle of all of these airplanes. And it isn’t an ad. It’s just a regular listing. It makes me think of the lifelike anatomically correct baby dolls I had growing up and which my cousin has always wanted for her own kids to have. But it was made of silicone(?).

I click the listing, because I need to understand more about this $5,500 silicone doll that showed up in my “airplane” search. It is listed as a name brand item – what?!?? Not only does someone make these, but we’re supposed to recognize the name of the creator?? Of course we are. Alejandra Zúñiga. And I looked it up. This is 100% real. Here’s the artist’s site. And here’s her Instagram page. Someone shows her a real baby and she makes a sculpture of that baby, then turns the sculpture into a doll and sells it. Apparently, lots of people do this. Artists. And the dolls weigh the same as the original baby, too.

Anyway, sure enough, this one I crossed is very lifelike and quite freaky. Kind of like wax figures. They just rub in a weird way. Except, this one rubs way worse. Haha. It’s just too real yet not. It even has hair… See for yourself:

If you want to delve a bit further, here’s a detailed Reddit page all about these dolls. Have fun!

Post-a-day 2025

I guess it is the things we most want to share that give us the most concern about sharing. It is the abnormal, the atypical, the mind-boggling that strikes us most, but also has us most concerned at being rejected by others.

Interesting…

Post-a-day 2025

1. Hypocrisy sucks. I aim not to do it and, especially, to notice immediately if I do do it, so that I may cut it out immediately.
2. I asked my mom probably around a year ago or more not to mention a certain topic to me anymore. She stopped for a while, but has been bringing it up again recently. It frustrates me when she does, not simply because I asked her not to do it, but because of how, when she complains about the behavior now, it is much worse than when she complained about it in the past. I have put a lot of work into the situation in question, and I have made much progress. My husband doesn’t seem to have changed much at all, but I have made a lot of intentional progress on my end. My mother has never mentioned that it has been better in the past year, though I know it has gotten much better. So, when she brings it up to complain about it and to tell me what I need to do, it is immensely frustrating. I am doing a lot about it, and it is way better than it used to be. Yet she brings it up like nothing has altered from how it was a year ago. I kind of freaked out on her today – yes, I did explain all of this to her today – and told her that she should talk to my husband if she wants to talk to someone about it, but not to mention it to me anymore, because it does not help me with the situation and only makes it worse for me. If her comments helped, I’d be all for it. But they don’t help. And I also don’t think her advice is sound in this situation. Her guidance didn’t help the first several months, and it is unlikely to help now. I guarantee that she also doesn’t follow it in the same situation herself – she just doesn’t notice it because she isn’t often in the same situation. But I do notice it. And, like I said with number one already, hypocrisy sucks.

God, help me to communicate clearly and with love. Help the people I love to feel my love for them in my actions and in my words always. Keep us safe and well and together, please, especially my husband and daughter. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025