Month: November 2025

My husband just found out about these awards that his flight club does (it’s like a car club, but for planes). He seems very likely to win at least two of the four or five of them. However, just last week, it seems like someone may have surpassed him for one of the awards.

It’s for the farthest birds-eye distance traveled from home in one of the planes from the club. Not combined, but from the home airport to whatever the farthest-away airport is. The irony of this potential other person’s having now beaten out my husband is that the guy actually offered for my husband to go with him on that very trip. It just happened to be during the festivities for my friend’s wedding, and we had made a huge effort to have my husband there with me. And I am glad he was there with me. However, I am also bummed that he missed this trip.

On the other hand, he now gets the excitement of having to figure out if he can manage an even longer trip within the next five days. He had actually planned with yet another club member to travel on a winning trip today. However, when they were over halfway there, something came up with the plane, and they had to do a little work on it and then turn around and head home, so that the mechanic could do his own work on the plane.

So, that sucked, but it was a fun adventure and potentiality for the both of them, as well as a good learning experience for them both, too, I imagine. Now, we are looking to see if he might take a day off work, simply to win this award. (And no, there isn’t any money involved in this. Just a few words he can include in his real and verbal resumes going forward.) In my mind, what’s a day of no work that costs us thousands of dollars we were already going to spend, when my husband is having a blast, wins an award he really wants and that is really cool, and builds all the more hours faster? Sounds reasonable to me. Two years into the future? Sounds very dumb and ridiculous. He’ll already have his hours and his pay will be spectacular. But he doesn’t currently have the hours he needs in order to get that spectacular pay, so he’s still on the total-junk pay that barely pays the basic bills. So, what’s a day’s worth of crappy pay being added to our already expected $150k debt when all of this time-building is finished? .0024%. That’s what it’s worth. (Haha. I know that I’m a nerd, yes.)

Here’s to hoping he can make it work!

God, guide us always and clearly, please. Show us your will and make it ours. Keep us safe and well, please. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

What’s the point of having help when it isn’t actually given?

That’s a very frustrating situation, especially when one has been gratefully looking forward to the help.

Ugh…

Post-a-day 2025

The final messages I sent right before turning out the light and going to sleep tonight:

When you get home:

Turkey into crock pot with water and turn on – or cover with foil or something and put in a fridge

Water and ice
Fix your corner of the bedsheet, please
Go to sleep ASAP
Phone signal***
I love you. Goodnight

——————

Post-a-day 2025

At the recommendation of my best friend, I expressed some milk today and put it in a bottle for my husband to use tonight, so that he could see about managing the entire process of putting our daughter to bed. Showering, dressing, nursing (via the bottle), and putting her in her crib, wonderfully passed out. My husband seemed game to give it a go, so I just had the first night in months of not having to manage a crying baby while I got myself ready for bed. Not even to stop everything to nurse her. It was wild and absolutely wonderful. The relief it provided feels unreal. I can feel it on my core that I had no idea it could be so easy to get ready for bed anymore. No idea it was possible.

We shall see how things went for my husband and daughter, though. May have been rough for them both. I’ll go check in and nurse her some more if needed (the bottle wasn’t super filled). I’m worried he’ll be borderline furious with frustration, but I’m hoping for the best. This was the first time for this, so I wouldn’t expect it to go flawlessly. But I’m hoping it was a good start to something new we can do sometimes, especially when my husband is able to be home for it, so they can have that intimate and loving time together, and also so that I can not having the screaming frustrations I’ve had most nights lately.

Goff guide us clearly, please. Keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

P.S. I’m pretty sure I am hearing my husband heavily breathing through the baby monitor… in other words, he is probably passed out in her room, holding her in the rocking chair… should I even bother waking him? He needs the sleep, after all…

My mom failed me big time. I was clear about what I would need if we were to do Thanksgiving dinner at our house. She agreed. And then she did not fulfill what she agreed to do. Now, here we are, a day away from it all. I must go to bed early tomorrow, due to the fact that we have the run early Thursday morning. So, I really only have a few hours worth of effort that I will be able to make tomorrow.

The house is not ready. My brain is not ready because of this. I will make the house functional, but it will not be what I had both wanted and needed it to be for my brain to be in a good place and for my emotions to be settled and at ease. And what really sucks about this all is that my mom doesn’t even seem to be awake of how terribly and utterly she let me down and failed me. I have a feeling that, if I were to mention it at all, even very kindly, she would yell at me and start making excuses and blame anyone but herself. So, that wouldn’t really be productive. I think I just need to be sad right now that my mom is struggling and is not helping herself or anyone else, and that she is not reliable at all; she cannot be depended upon to do anything she agrees to do.

St Michael, protect us, please. Thank you, God. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

When my fuse is so short that I can barely manage not to cry profanities toward my child’s behavior, I know it is time to get help, and immediately. I thought I was doing better than I am, but tonight shocked me into the reality of the situation: I am still very much not okay, and I need help. Specific help.

God, help me request and receive the help I need, please. Keep my husband and our baby and me safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Some days, we have just got out limits so many times on the past weeks, we cannot keep it together and stay calm.

Post-a-day 2025

I really enjoyed this wedding. I think I much prefer the events before a wedding to the reception itself. The anticipation and the promise of more togetherness and celebration of the pre-wedding activities just have a certain thrill to them that I prefer. They also give me the experience of being able to leave it and when I want (because there will be more later to attend). Versus always feeling like we har to make the most of the reception, because this is the end of the festivities.

Anyway, I have enjoyed this weekend, despite the reals struggles involved in it (including having to sit almost an hour in the car, waiting to travel the three blocks to get inside the resort’s gates, the resort staff being kind of nasty about it and saying there was plenty of parking and that they had no idea what we were talking about that anyone might be sitting in a like of unmoving traffic for the past half hour already, and then finding that the parking we had already paid for was full from a conference happening, and then being over an hour late to the welcome dinner for the wedding… yeah, that sucked big time.).

Thank you, God, for the time I got to spend with my family this weekend, and for the time I spent with friends. Thank you, too, for the time my family got to spend with each other, too. Please, keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Yeah… I really don’t like being around drunk people. There is the odd-one-out who is actually a very sweet and calm and kind drunk. However, the vast majority are frustrating and/or annoying, and I find life loads more enjoyable not having them around whenever they’re drunk. Intensely so.

Post-a-day 2025

Well, I am going to bed several hours later than anticipated for tonight, and with much more packing than planned to do in the morning. However, the visit tonight with my mom and brother was just great. It was well worth the shift in plans and the lessening of sleep. We haven’t had enough time with him in recent years, and this year especially, so this was a welcome balm. I feel so satisfied after tonight, and in a way I haven’t much felt in the past year. This was awesome.

Thank you, God. Please, keep us all safe and make us well. Help us to sleep very effectively and well tonight especially, and help us to have a wonderful vacation and weekend together this weekend. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025