I just wish that, on occasion, my husband could surprise me and be home in time for dinner and going to bed together early. So that neither of us is already at the end of the day’s wits, or halfway passing out the moment we sit in bed, or, even, ready to cry from exhaustion.
Dear God, please, keep him safe and well. Always give him safe travel, please, and show us all your way forward with everything. Make your will our will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
I stopped reminding my husband about things that matter a lot to me, in order to let him manage them how he wishes to do them, not how I wish for him to do them. I also have stepped back on helping manage his alarms. If he communicates with me in advance what his schedule is, I will set a backup alarm. I especially will do so if he goes to bed in enough time to get a good night’s sleep. But, if he doesn’t let me know before I’m going to bed, he’s managing the next morning on his own.
I was very scared to do that at first, and I still get stressed about it. I don’t want him to get in trouble at work. I don’t want him to be totally distraught, as he has been the few times he’s missed his alarms in the past. But I also don’t want to have to manage it for him. I want him to be responsible for himself. I’d be willing to do it all if he worked with me. But he doesn’t help me, so I’m stepping back. I set my alarms for the next day the evening before, and rarely right before I go to sleep. He doesn’t even start to consider what time he needs an alarm until he is lying in bed, at which point he is usually already falling asleep. So, he has completely missed setting them several nights, except that I have woken him and forced him to set them, or just set them myself on his phone or on my own.
Anyway, I asked him recently to get at least a certain amount of sleep each night, and he has done a very good job of honoring that. He hasn’t done it every night, and he needs more than that amount some nights in order to be fully rested. However, it’s been a move in a good direction for his well-being and my peace of mind.
So, that’s all I have to say about all of that right now.
Thank you, God, for your love and support. Please, keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
I gave my daughter about ten minutes to do whatever, so I could relax and breathe a bit. This was the result.
Ugh.
God, help us to thrive and to sleep well each night, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
Today, an old student of mine came over to help babysit while I did some chores. One of the big things I got done was some gardening on our back patio. It may seem an odd choice of tasks, especially given that I have so much indoors that needs to be done right now. However, my not doing it has made going outside very stressful for me lately, as a I see is an overgrown garden that I have failed to maintain and care for lately. So, once I got several pruning bits done, I felt a physical weight removed from my body. I could breathe much more easily out there again, and I was enjoying the space.
However, given that I was doing so much pruning and for so long, the lantana, which usually bug me a bit, which is why I won’t touch them without gloves, got to me. I realized that my arms didn’t feel great, and so looked down at them. I saw little red spots all over them and kind of started to panic.
I went inside and washed them well with soap and water then called my cousin for guidance on next steps. She reminded me that panic would make the histamines worse, but being calm and cool would help relieve it all. So, I breathed deeply and rubbed ice on my arms for a minute before patting them dry. It took a bit, but everything went away and felt fine again (minus a little scratch I’d gotten, which still hurts a bit as a scratch.)
Nonetheless, despite the panic and the rashy reaction, I feel so good about the plant pruning and weeding that I did today. Our back patio has space again. I pulled out loads of weeds, cleaned up multiple plants, and got most of the stuff I cut or pulled into the fire pit to be burned. (The last two piles didn’t make it, as that was when I discovered the rashes, and it was not a good idea for me to mess with any of it again today, so they’re still sitting out there where I made them.) The basil looks great again. The lantana and Turks caps look great again, too. And the borders all look clean again. I look forward to stepping outside again soon, now. (Just have to beware of the bug pesticides that my husband put down everywhere out there today… need to find out how to proceed safely with all of that. I’ll have to check with my husband on that one.)
Anyway, I didn’t anticipate doing much outside work, but it made for a better time of visiting with the old student while I worked, and it let me be around my husband for a while, though we weren’t working side-by-side or anything. He was doing his stuff outside and I was doing mine. But we got to chat off and on, and we both had overlapping bits with the chickens for a bit, which was extra nice. And neither of us had to manage keeping the baby safe the whole time. Extra extra nice.
Thank you, God, for the blessings of today. Thank you for our daughter and this family you have helped us to make so far. Keep us safe and make us well, please. Keep us together and kind with one another. Make your will our will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
My husband was quite sweet tonight, voluntarily asking me how my day was. However, it ended up being quite saddening for me, because he fell asleep as he asked me – he claimed he wasn’t asleep, but he was, and his lack of memory of it tomorrow can prove it – and so never listened to my response. I don’t mean to be dramatic or anything. I just ended up kind of sucking. He can’t even stay awake to hear about my day, let alone any other kind of spending time together. It’s just really hard right now.
Post-a-day 2025
I don’t have much choice in how much sleep I get, in a sense. My sleep is always disturbed, because the baby nurses throughout the night, and I get out of bed and go sit up with her to do that each time. What I can manage is what time I get us ready for bed. She won’t always go to sleep once we’re ready for bed either, but I do my best to have her in bed as soon as possible after showering.
But I am always tired. She’s been waking every two-ish hours the past month plus. The other night, she slept four hours and three hours, and I felt like I had had a huge amount of sleep after I slept four hours straight (I was still getting ready for bed and waiting for my husband during half of her three-hour stint.). And that’s saying something – four hours feeling like a huge chunk of the night…
Anyway… my husband kind of gets to manage his sleep and schedule. He has work at set times, yes. But when he is flying extra is his off time, he gets to manage himself and his schedule. Yet he still isn’t giving himself enough sleep each night. And not only is that concerning because he has to be going to and from work and working all the time on what I believe is not enough sleep. But also is he usually no help at home and no fun to be around because he gets home utterly exhausted. He can’t even have a normal conversion most nights, he’s too tired and falling asleep wherever he sits down first. And he snaps at me, which is not cool. But it is common for him these days, his being so tired and all. And that sucks.
God, guide us, please. Make your will our will. Make us well and keep us safe, please. Give us good sleep and enough sleep each night, that we be our best selves each day. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
I don’t understand how a doctor can prescribe medicine to a patient without ever discussing it with the patient, without explaining what’s wrong, without explaining why it is important to address, without explaining follow-up after taking the medicine, without anything at all. How is that okay? And how does that make someone feel comfortable with and confident in the current medical system?
And why did the nurse have to be so unhelpful and, even, insulting when I asked for clarification on things? (Slash why did a nurse have to respond to my query that was placed directly to the doctor? I hired the doctor because I like the doctor and she gives me competence and comfort. The nurse had nothing to do with it. And the nurse, frankly, is causing me not to want to use the doctor ever again. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so dirty and like a bad person the way she made me feel today.)
So, that all sucks.
God, guide me on all of this, please. Show me your way. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
I probably could have eaten a lot more food today, but it didn’t happen. That’s probably half the reason my head hurts right now, with the other half being a need for sleep. My husband probably will have an aching belly when he arrives home. Someone threw out our Tupperware and his dinner tonight from the fridge at his work. It wasn’t the day listed for the fridge being cleaned out. No one mentioned it to him. He put on the food when he arrived today. Went to eat it after his last lesson, and it was all gone, as was his ice pack from the freezer.
I’m actually extra miffed about this, because that food was special today. It was a bunch of lamb I had gotten for him from the farmers market. So, it wasn’t even a cheap meal that got thrown out, but an expensive and rare and special one. Huge bummer, massive annoyance.
God, guide us clearly, please. Keep us safe and make us well. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
God, show me the way clearly, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
Though I typically am a morning person, ever since I have had a baby waking me up all throughout the night, mornings have been quite difficult for me to rely on seeing. I am rarely functional in an early morning, let alone awake. So, as much as I have been lonely and longing for plans, whenever I have set plans that happen in the morning, I am usually quite stressed and, even, dreading them. If they were simply midday or later, that would be loads easier for me. But they usually are not. First thing. Early morning. Like tomorrow. Yikes.
God, help me and the baby to sleep well tonight, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2025
hannah ananas 