Month: April 2026

I was asked if we were doing any of the Church stuff today or tomorrow. I had to acknowledge that my capacities have been hit, and so I will not be doing any of the stuff (and cannot even think about considering being able to attend them). And that really sucks. I care about God and our religious practice, yet I cannot even think about participating in some of the biggest parts of the liturgical year, because I am so under water. It’s like the exact time we are invited extra to come to the Church, when we are under water, yet my reason is also what prevents me. I imagine that’s what all people who avoid going during struggles say, though.

Post-a-day 2026

I was talking with my mom about needing to find signing lessons, and ended up finding an app that claims to be the best. It even has 4.9 stars. I haven’t confirmed by how many ratings, but it is, at the very least, a good start. I did the first few lessons, and I’m mostly happy with it so far. I still need to comb through the app, as there could be the features I want and I just haven’t crossed them yet. But we shall see. I’m feeling good about it so far, and that, in and of itself, feels good.

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

I have so much work to do before Saturday, when people first will be coming over. I also have to mow the lawn… I think. Yes, I’m pretty sure I should do it tomorrow, so it has time to grow a bit before Saturday, but so that it looks nice and not overgrown, which is how it likely would look by Saturday if I didn’t mow tomorrow… that on top of everything for the inside of the house. Ugh.

I know I can do it. It’s just a lot of effort in a short period of time, and it’s when I’m already exhausted and just wanting to rest still. I haven’t even fully recovered from the sinus infection yet, which is its own suck. Now, add all the cleaning and tidying. Yikes.

Fortunately, my mom understands for once and is making an effort to support me in it all. Supposedly, she’ll come manage the baby out of the way for a couple hours in the morning, starting around 8:30 (depending on traffic). Hopefully, I sleep well tonight and am able to get loads done in the morning.

Also, my mom got mad today about how little I get updates from my husband. I think it makes me sad and I struggle with feelings of not being wanted or not being important enough to him for him to keep me updated on his life, but I don’t get mad about it. So, it was interesting to see someone so upset in a completely different way today. I don’t think he does it on purpose, not being in communication. I think he just genuinely doesn’t think ahead or plan ahead to consider what might make a difference for me. As I understand it, it is the case for many men that they are reactive to situations rather than planning ahead, and that they have zero focus or thought for things when they are not right in front of the man – that is, out of sight means out of mind. So, I get it from a logic standpoint. But it still sucks and it still makes it feel like I don’t matter very much.

Also, my daughter keeps being a night owl and pushing her sleep time later and later each night. Ugh. Literally as soon as I stopped getting us up at the crack of dawn for the livestock show, she started staying up later and later.

Post-a-day 2026