I often forget that I can be beautiful, even in the societal sense, surface level.
I just have to remember it and choose to be it… and take good care of myself, of course, as is standard for it… then I just am it.
And it is beautiful to be beautiful.
I just keep forgetting.
Post-a-day 2024
Well, I guess the mattes aren’t a huge priority for me right now. It was a big deal to get them all cut tot he right size. But, now that that is done, I seem not to be too worried about the next step. For one, I’ll have to pick for sure which ones to frame. For another, if I need to do any more cutting, I know I can go do it with permission and ease. So, no longer worried about missing out on that chance, as I originally was, before going.
All that to say that I didn’t do them tonight. I didn’t get home until rather late for me. But I had a great time visiting my grandmother with my mom and husband. I also got to share with her about the recent miscarriage, and about the good news that my levels are all good to proceed forward again. She was really sweet and easy about it. She was sad, but glad to hear the blood test cleared me for safe progression this past weekend. She said that, “Back in my day,” she had two miscarriages, and they really must just be a natural and normal thing. I had worried she might take it too hard. Her easy way of saying this, and so quickly after hearing, made it clear that she was truly okay about it all. She agree that it is only natural for us to try again and again to procreate. I commented that it wasn’t like we would be upset at the prospect, and she made some cute comments about not being too excited or rambunctious while at it, because “we don’t need triplets or twins running around here,” and ‘that’s what happens if you’re too rambunctious during the process.’
We were cracking up. It was truly a lovely and fun time with her. I am very grateful.
Thank you, God. Help my grandma to be healthy and well, please. Help us to spend good time with her. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Okay, so, I didn’t do the mattes this evening. I worked on my resume and cover letter for a job application. However, I will get to them tomorrow!
Nonetheless, I digress…
I kid you not, tonight, I stood up to bring my dinner plate and flatware to the sink to rinse them, after I’d finished eating. Somehow, the knife was not properly balanced on the plate – to be clear, this never happens for me, as I am always meticulously careful about such a thing as dirty dishes and things that could make a mess – and, as I stood, it flipped backward, toward me, flung barbecue sauce through the air onto my husband’s leg, and then stabbed my thigh before it fell fully to the ground.
No, it didn’t imbed itself into my leg or anything. But it 100% stabbed me enough to slit the skin, make it burn immediately, and then bleed after a few seconds. I now have a small fish-hook-shaped little red scar on my left thigh. And, yes, it still hurts to the touch. Hopefully, the cleaning and sanitizing I did of it, followed by a shower, actually worked and helped it to seal up while still clean.
Ridiculous, I know.
Anyway, goodnight, folks!
Thank you, God, for keeping me safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I edited (somewhat poorly, at first, anyway) and then made some mattes for displaying paintings and other artwork in our home today. After I got home, I realized how I would have been able to make the edited ones much better… which was slightly annoying to discover after the fact (haha), but which might prove useful still.
I still have to order some archival tape to put them into the frames, anyway, so I can check tomorrow after school about how the mattes actually fit and if I can do the better way of editing on the poorly done ones still. I also potentially can just put an exacto knife to them. So, I can try that tomorrow, too. That might be perfectly successful, giving me no need to bring them back to school. But we shall see. 😛
I’m glad I did them and I feel a great sense of accomplishment at having done them all, and on my own.
Thank you, God, for this successfully completed task and its associated positive brain chemicals. Thank you. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
So, we don’t have a two-million-dollar house. But, when I look good and hard at what makes it feel ‘cheap’ or ‘crappy’ in comparison, I see that much of it can be improved with little monetary cost. I have touched up the trims – yes, they’re like five shades of white throughout the house, but the touch-ups, even in the one shade of white that doesn’t quite match most of them, already make it look loads better walking around the house – which look great now. Yes, they could be better, but they are very good for now. Tonight, I pulled out those special white sponge eraser-type cleaning supplies – like the Mr. Clean erasers, but the knock-off from the dollar store – and they worked wonders on the few places I used them. Our door to the garage (daily constant use), the hallway main wall, and one bathroom wall are all now in great condition, looking spiffy and clean in a way I’d never seen them. Thank you, erasers. More to go still, but each step is helping immensely, and I am grateful.
Still not a two-million-dollar house, but already much better than it was.
Thank you, God. Keep us safe, please, and pursuing and fulfilling your will in all that we are and do. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Sometimes, it is difficult to see the success of others without feeling I have failed, myself. I visited the house of a friend from high school this weekend. Not only is it a new-build, but it is a ridiculously expensive new-build. And, of course, everything within it looks perfect. And fancy, expensively simple.
Our house is not like that. I don’t think I want that specifically. But I know I don’t want to have five different shades of white on our baseboards and door trim throughout the house… which we seem to have.
We took in a paint sample from one door trim, and it matched perfectly… one side of the trim. The outside of the same doorway id a different shade of white, as are all the other doorways in the house. I went through to touch up all the chips and marks I couldn’t clean off of them, only to discover afterward that they all seem to be slightly different shades of white.
Somehow, it just makes me really sad right now.
And even more frustrated at myself for not having my career better sorted, such that I could take care of my family financially…
Also, my phone keeps getting worse. Now, the period seems to feel like not working very well, all of a sudden… So, there’s that financial frustration, too.
God, help me to heal and to find what is next for me, such that I be my best self and take beautiful and good care of my family and myself. Thank you for this chance toward growth. Help me to see clearly what you are calling me to do. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Thank you, God. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
We went to the hardware store. He fussed at me for fixing the displays of the doorknobs as we checked them out. Then, ten minutes later, he is fiddling with something that runs under the middle shelf all the way along the aisle. Eventually, I figure it out mostly and he come clean – there are lights above the doorknob displays, but only one set is on in the whole aisle. All the others are off. I join his efforts, of course, and we find the plug, hidden away behind the doorknobs. He goes to the other side of the aisle, shoves aside some cleaning bottles, and plugs in the extension cord. And voilà , the lights are all on and the displayed doorknobs look fantastic.
Good job, honey!
Even though that was a perfect example of hypocrisy. 😛
I love my husband and our weird ways.
Thank you, God. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Tomorrow is Friday, and I am grateful. I also have my meeting tomorrow morning to express the terrible-ness of this year at work, for which I also am grateful. I am nervous, too, because I don’t like being in trouble, and I worry it will make me be in trouble. However, I have prepared reasonably well for the meeting and it will be a relief to have communicated everything, so that I can move on freely and complete with this job and the nonsense that has gone with it this school year.
God, give me your words in my meeting tomorrow, please. Be with me. Keep us safe, please. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Today was “mid,” as the teenagers now say. It was mediocre, so-so. I had some really hard times earlier in the day, and some good times in the middle, and then an awesome time at the end of the day, when I ran into old friends and family friends who were attending various events happening on campus this afternoon and evening. Now that part was awesome today.
I also really enjoyed running errands with my husband. They were short and so was his annoyance temper, but I enjoyed just hanging around with him while we did something useful together.
Now, I go to bed not as stressed as last night for tomorrow. I still am unhappy about my job, but I am handling things now in a way that seems to be helping so far.
God, help me to find my work and income to support myself and my family well. Thank you for this life and these trials for growth. Help me to be the woman I long to be. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 