Sleep

I don’t have much choice in how much sleep I get, in a sense. My sleep is always disturbed, because the baby nurses throughout the night, and I get out of bed and go sit up with her to do that each time. What I can manage is what time I get us ready for bed. She won’t always go to sleep once we’re ready for bed either, but I do my best to have her in bed as soon as possible after showering.

But I am always tired. She’s been waking every two-ish hours the past month plus. The other night, she slept four hours and three hours, and I felt like I had had a huge amount of sleep after I slept four hours straight (I was still getting ready for bed and waiting for my husband during half of her three-hour stint.). And that’s saying something – four hours feeling like a huge chunk of the night…

Anyway… my husband kind of gets to manage his sleep and schedule. He has work at set times, yes. But when he is flying extra is his off time, he gets to manage himself and his schedule. Yet he still isn’t giving himself enough sleep each night. And not only is that concerning because he has to be going to and from work and working all the time on what I believe is not enough sleep. But also is he usually no help at home and no fun to be around because he gets home utterly exhausted. He can’t even have a normal conversion most nights, he’s too tired and falling asleep wherever he sits down first. And he snaps at me, which is not cool. But it is common for him these days, his being so tired and all. And that sucks.

God, guide us, please. Make your will our will. Make us well and keep us safe, please. Give us good sleep and enough sleep each night, that we be our best selves each day. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Doctors

I don’t understand how a doctor can prescribe medicine to a patient without ever discussing it with the patient, without explaining what’s wrong, without explaining why it is important to address, without explaining follow-up after taking the medicine, without anything at all. How is that okay? And how does that make someone feel comfortable with and confident in the current medical system?

And why did the nurse have to be so unhelpful and, even, insulting when I asked for clarification on things? (Slash why did a nurse have to respond to my query that was placed directly to the doctor? I hired the doctor because I like the doctor and she gives me competence and comfort. The nurse had nothing to do with it. And the nurse, frankly, is causing me not to want to use the doctor ever again. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so dirty and like a bad person the way she made me feel today.)

So, that all sucks.

God, guide me on all of this, please. Show me your way. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Headaches and empty bellies

I probably could have eaten a lot more food today, but it didn’t happen. That’s probably half the reason my head hurts right now, with the other half being a need for sleep. My husband probably will have an aching belly when he arrives home. Someone threw out our Tupperware and his dinner tonight from the fridge at his work. It wasn’t the day listed for the fridge being cleaned out. No one mentioned it to him. He put on the food when he arrived today. Went to eat it after his last lesson, and it was all gone, as was his ice pack from the freezer.

I’m actually extra miffed about this, because that food was special today. It was a bunch of lamb I had gotten for him from the farmers market. So, it wasn’t even a cheap meal that got thrown out, but an expensive and rare and special one. Huge bummer, massive annoyance.

God, guide us clearly, please. Keep us safe and make us well. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Schedules

Though I typically am a morning person, ever since I have had a baby waking me up all throughout the night, mornings have been quite difficult for me to rely on seeing. I am rarely functional in an early morning, let alone awake. So, as much as I have been lonely and longing for plans, whenever I have set plans that happen in the morning, I am usually quite stressed and, even, dreading them. If they were simply midday or later, that would be loads easier for me. But they usually are not. First thing. Early morning. Like tomorrow. Yikes.

God, help me and the baby to sleep well tonight, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Sorting through it all

Working on working through things in the house and organizing and getting rid of things, and apparently also organizing and working through the rest of life, too. I called my brother tonight and asked for help with something. He acknowledged me for having done so much work on it so far on my own, and he agreed to help me going forward, also saying that he believes I shouldn’t be having to carry it all on my own, anyway. So, that was unexpected on all fronts, but I am glad I called and I am glad we had the conversation we did. It feels like God is guiding me through all this stuff. I feel the pulls now, and progress is being made (it feels like at last).

Thank you, God. Now, let us all sleep well tonight and each night, please, in our designated beds. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Bedtime…

At last, she is asleep in her own bed… again just before midnight… But for how long???

God, help her to sleep for several hours straight each night, please. Give us all healing sleep each night. Thank you for this family and this life. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Sleep

I may have finally gotten her to sleep for a while (in her crib). So, I’m rushing to get to sleep as soon as possible. Talk about a sense of urgency – I’m well past that. The urgency is there, but the desperation is winning and I am cutting out just about everything I can, so I can get to sleep even sooner. Sacrifices are being made in my routine and household chores. The trash has not been collected. I am doing a poor job of my stretches for physical therapy (yes, right now, as I type this). I need this sleep. Especially since I have to be up and going early tomorrow morning. And I’ll have to do a lot of work tomorrow before I’m able to rest again.

God, guide me, please. Help me to be kind. Grant us great and restful sleep tonight and each night. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

A sense of urgency

We talked at a job of mine at one point about that concept of ‘having a sense of urgency’ in one’s work. Most people thought that meant hurrying and thereby doing a poor job. I might have been the only one who instantly understood it to be otherwise (which was actually the case and the point of the concept’s being mentioned in the meeting). Having a sense of urgency is very different from hurrying. Hurrying often include mistakes and poor or incomplete work, skipped steps. Having a sense of urgency is being aware of a time restraint and making practicable adjustments to one’s speed in order to complete it fully yet efficiently and sooner than a regular casual approach would have produced. It is not rushing. It is being efficiently quick. Being level-headed and calm while moving with efficiency and speed

Anyway, I think about this phrase a lot in my life. I often have a sense of urgency about things. Not always. But it happens often around sleep for me, and certain things around the baby. Main examples are around leaving the house and around going to bed. Both take many steps and much efficiency to complete at all quickly. I almost always act with a sense of urgency on these two. I need to get somewhere on time. I need to maximize sleep while the baby is asleep. They are important things to accomplish with a sense of urgency. My husband does not act with a sense of urgency on either front, and it deeply upsets me. For him, there just is no urgency around them. I don’t know that he has thought through the entire series of events between right now and where we are going or how the night will go and what tomorrow holds and how much sleep he may need etc., etc., and so on and so forth. My brain only operates that way, so I have always thought about then whole series of events and their requirements and what makes the most sense. And they usually mean that it is time to operate with a sense of urgency. And, so, I do.

Post-a-day 2025