I realized today that, on top of all the general struggles that arose yesterday to make it so terrible, especially at work, I had forgotten about the base social aspect of the day. I am almost exactly middle of of the road on all of the Myers-Briggs stuff, the epitome of what is now called “ambivert”. I can do and need the extroverted stuff, but I also need the calm introverted stuff. And I need it all in a single day. Too much of either drives me nuts, as does too little of either. I also very much have ADHD. I can focus very well on things, but my time doing so is limited. Same goes for sitting still. Add onto that the pregnancy aspect of being miserable staying in the same position for very long, and that’s what yesterday was for me. We had a day from 8 to 4:30 that was 95% busy, loud, extroverted time filled with loads of people (and lots of loud people) and constant talking. The only time we weren’t in that setting was during the fire alarm, when we all got kind of spread out outside. But the best and humidity did me in there, so it was another miserable, and I had to get help from several others anyway, making it still very extroverted.
I was utterly drained just from the social aspect alone. With all the pregnancy stuff added to it and the emotional stuff and food and whatnot, it’s no wonder I was ready to curl up and cry myself to sleep long before the sun went down.
Today’s having had a few hours mixed in of solo work time made all the difference. I sat alone in my room with only natural light coming in from the windows to illuminate the space during all of those solo times, and it was like a balm for me. It reminded me of how important that balance is, and of how it is also respectful to consider such things when planning schedules. Not sure when I’ll use that knowledge, but I’m sure it’ll come up at some point and be helpful in supporting others in being their best selves.
As a note, I had a meeting today with my boss ‘just to check in’. I was right in wondering if I was the only one who got the check-in meeting request. She had sent it around 1:45pm yesterday, so we hadn’t even hit the worst of the day yet for me… but maybe the crying in the morning and the utter frustration in the stupidity of the first meeting was more what got them concerned. Nonetheless, leadership were worried about me and whether I’ll actually be okay teaching, given how much I was clearly struggling yesterday. Fortunately, when I went through the order of events, she seemed to get it and said it was, “a comedy of errors”. And I didn’t even mention the social aspect, because it didn’t occur to me until after that meeting this morning. She still wants me to talk to HR, clearly to have a plan in place for when they seem to think I’ll have to go on bed rest or something – they have no idea how much I keep improving, and clearly are not accustomed to a tough pregnancy, but whatever. This baby and I are going to be well. We are just still adapting to being together right now, and she (well, it) is kind of getting all the comfort, and I’m getting all the suck. Hopefully, the suck will continue to decrease and we both can be well together very soon.
Anyway, social stuff matters, as does being aware of how we each operate best within social energies. Remember that.
God, help us to be well and safe, please. Keep my husband safe, please. Help me to have a BM in the morning before I need to leave for school, please, and heal me of this rash. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 