hannah ananas

Okay, some clarity was found. Now I don’t have to wonder so much. Sadly, what I feared was confirmed, and it is all rather nasty in my eyes. But I am now clear on it all and am not having to speculate and then feel bad about the negative speculation. So, positive progress in a super sad and mean situation.

But I trust you, Lord. Guide us clearly and lovingly forward in your will. Help us even more than usual to be the people you call us to be, to be our best selves. Guide us to build the homes and lives in which we long to live. Please, keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Seriously, what the eff????! What in God’s name is happening? Please, help me to see it, Lord? I trust in you. This is still very upsetting right now for the hurt it is causing to those I love. And it is scary. God, help us to find our way and your way, please. Keep us safe and make us well, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

I had a good happy hour with my rodeo committee. Good conversations. Good connections. Good prospects for our next steps as a family.

My husband had a good result from someone’s disrespect and stupidity at work today, after doing some research and standing up for himself. So, that was good, too.

The crick in my neck is still there, but is much improved. Also, good.

My head has started to hurt tonight… though, not as badly as it did the other day… haha. So, a good version of not good. Haha.

God, help us to heal, please. Heal our words. Heal our bodies. Heal our hearts and minds, please. Make us well and keep us safe, especially my husband and our daughter. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Today, as usual, I was searching online for airplanes, specifically for one to purchase. As I scrolled briefly through the listings on Facebook Marketplace – we do not expect to find one there, but I keep an eye out, just in case – I crossed a post that both baffled me and kind of freaked me out. It was a listing entitled “SILICONE DOLL”, all caps. Keep in mind, my search criteria are “airplane” with the price range of $1,250-$65,000. So, this doll listing is just suddenly there in the middle of all of these airplanes. And it isn’t an ad. It’s just a regular listing. It makes me think of the lifelike anatomically correct baby dolls I had growing up and which my cousin has always wanted for her own kids to have. But it was made of silicone(?).

I click the listing, because I need to understand more about this $5,500 silicone doll that showed up in my “airplane” search. It is listed as a name brand item – what?!?? Not only does someone make these, but we’re supposed to recognize the name of the creator?? Of course we are. Alejandra Zúñiga. And I looked it up. This is 100% real. Here’s the artist’s site. And here’s her Instagram page. Someone shows her a real baby and she makes a sculpture of that baby, then turns the sculpture into a doll and sells it. Apparently, lots of people do this. Artists. And the dolls weigh the same as the original baby, too.

Anyway, sure enough, this one I crossed is very lifelike and quite freaky. Kind of like wax figures. They just rub in a weird way. Except, this one rubs way worse. Haha. It’s just too real yet not. It even has hair… See for yourself:

If you want to delve a bit further, here’s a detailed Reddit page all about these dolls. Have fun!

Post-a-day 2025

I guess it is the things we most want to share that give us the most concern about sharing. It is the abnormal, the atypical, the mind-boggling that strikes us most, but also has us most concerned at being rejected by others.

Interesting…

Post-a-day 2025

1. Hypocrisy sucks. I aim not to do it and, especially, to notice immediately if I do do it, so that I may cut it out immediately.
2. I asked my mom probably around a year ago or more not to mention a certain topic to me anymore. She stopped for a while, but has been bringing it up again recently. It frustrates me when she does, not simply because I asked her not to do it, but because of how, when she complains about the behavior now, it is much worse than when she complained about it in the past. I have put a lot of work into the situation in question, and I have made much progress. My husband doesn’t seem to have changed much at all, but I have made a lot of intentional progress on my end. My mother has never mentioned that it has been better in the past year, though I know it has gotten much better. So, when she brings it up to complain about it and to tell me what I need to do, it is immensely frustrating. I am doing a lot about it, and it is way better than it used to be. Yet she brings it up like nothing has altered from how it was a year ago. I kind of freaked out on her today – yes, I did explain all of this to her today – and told her that she should talk to my husband if she wants to talk to someone about it, but not to mention it to me anymore, because it does not help me with the situation and only makes it worse for me. If her comments helped, I’d be all for it. But they don’t help. And I also don’t think her advice is sound in this situation. Her guidance didn’t help the first several months, and it is unlikely to help now. I guarantee that she also doesn’t follow it in the same situation herself – she just doesn’t notice it because she isn’t often in the same situation. But I do notice it. And, like I said with number one already, hypocrisy sucks.

God, help me to communicate clearly and with love. Help the people I love to feel my love for them in my actions and in my words always. Keep us safe and well and together, please, especially my husband and daughter. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

I find it hilarious when I switch sides while breastfeeding, and I can hear the milk sloshing around in my daughter’s stomach as she tilts from one direction to the other. 😛

Post-a-day 2025

It is hard to have family pulled away. It is even harder to have it happen after having discussed for years that a lack of certain measures would cause problems… yet the family didn’t follow through with preventing those problems. And it is even harder to watch those problems pull family away from other family members, and seeing them be hurt by it all.

Sucks.

I trust that we will be okay. That doesn’t make it not sucky right now, but it gives me hope to trust in my instincts and to let it all just be for now. God is at work in ways we do not know nor understand.

Thank you, God, for this chance for growth. Please, keep us safe and well and together. Help to heal all our wounds. Please, keep our home safe. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

The baby woke up in the middle of the night, as is her regular schedule. However, for the second night in a row, she has found herself wide awake after nursing and has taken it upon herself to have a fun time with her dad. Obviously, it is adorable and wonderful. Also, my husband doesn’t see her much right now. So, we allow it. But I cut it a bit short tonight so that we all could get back to sleep.

Hilariously, she was lying down with her dad, and all was quiet, then a sudden massive fart came out of her. My husband and I met eyes and then both silently chuckled. The baby gave a huge grin all on her own, like she was laughing at her own fart. It was great.

Anyway, goodnight!

Post-a-day 2025

Tonight, I am tired. Very tired, in fact. But I got pockets made and out into a dress and I redid the invisible zipper on that same dress. I still need to add another invisible zipper onto it, but it has the other work done on it, so I technically can wear it now, if it comes to it. I actually really like this dress and I want to wear it. But I have to be careful about it, because I can’t nurse on the left side without taking off the whole top of the dress. Thus the need for another invisible zipper. But I’ve got to buy that first, then I can put it in. Anyway…

I’m exhausted. I asked my mom to consider coming early tomorrow so that I can exercise before the massage I have scheduled – don’t worry, not only is it at the massage school where massages are less than half the normal prices, but it’s with a voucher we purchased on discount two Christmases ago, so it isn’t costing us any money this time. But I’ve now not gotten to bed at all at a reasonable time, and it wouldn’t surprise me if I don’t really wake up slash get up until after she gets here.

On that note, I’m kind of stressed to go to sleep. Some people came into our neighborhood last night to steal cars. They stole our next-door-neighbor’s brand new truck out of his driveway. It really scared me to hear that, because my husband leaves his cars out front filled with important and valuable things all the time. Maybe not filled with them, but the items are definitely in there. It would be more than the sadness and the hassle of a stolen or broken-into car, by a lot.

Dear God, please, keep our possessions safe and in our possession. Keep us and our home safe and well. Make us happy, healthy, holy, and together on our family, please. Guide us clearly with this plane and job situation, please, and promptly. Thank you for these opportunities. Help us to be the people you call us to be, our best selves. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025