hannah ananas

*And the Holy Spirit truly did open a window!

My husband felt stressed after the rejection, and he seemed to think he just wasn’t good enough for the career at all, etc. etc. He had another interview today, and he suddenly felt very unprepared for it, after the rejection last night (after what had felt like a good interview for him). I prayed that he be fully himself and show all that he is and all that he could be working for this company in his interviews today.

And it seemed he did, and they saw someone they wanted to have part of their team(!). Yippee! And he didn’t even have to wait a week to find out – he was, basically, hired on the spot today. !!!. Super exciting. And very God-sent.

Thank you, God. Jesus, we trust in You. In your name, we pray. Amen.

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He didn’t get the job that I know he really wanted. And I mean really wanted. I hope he clears his head of the disappointment tonight, so that he can do a great job being himself for the interview he has tomorrow. He is good enough for all of this. But God is guiding him very distinctly.

I pray he be guided kindly and lovingly. Help him to find this work that will be beautifully fulfilling for him while also being financially viable and supportive for our family. Keep him safe and well, please, and keep us together as a family always. Thank you for these opportunities. In your name, I pray. Amen.

*Hopefully, the window opens this week(!). ❤

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I find it interesting that it has to be called physical therapy, yet the alternative is not called mental therapy or psychological therapy. It think it makes most sense to have determiners for all of them. That way, things are fully clear. If you want to mention that you’re going to therapy, you also have the availability to specify what kind of therapy. You can also withhold the determiner and leave the audience in suspense as to what kind of therapy you are attending. Perhaps you’ve had a car accident and need to rehabilitate a hip. Perhaps you’re going crazy and need to rehabilitate your brain chemistry and synapses. Perhaps you’re angry because of all the people who have been incredibly mean to you lately, and you need to rehabilitate your relationship with yourself and your self-worth. All should be equally possible when simply saying “therapy”.

And yet, they are not. Very unfair, in my opinion. And, really, bizarre. Why aren’t they all okay to be called “therapy”?(?!?!) And why is only the physical rehabilitation type clarified?(!?!?)

Ugh(!).

Anyway, I’ve finally started pelvic floor physical therapy, and it is helping already with the daily exercises since my initial analysis and examination this past Wednesday. I’m super psyched for the difference this seems like it will make for me over the next few months, and permanently. Super grateful to have sorted this out, at last.

Thank you, God. Amen.

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I now have another project for my baby’s clothes. A hat for Thanksgiving that is perfect for the style I love and want for my baby to wear for the occasion (as opposed to all the tacky junk out there). I just have to figure out the knitting pattern so I can make it. And how big her head might be by then… hmm… Her head circumference is the only medium-range percentile on her. Haha. Not that that matters for her health and well-being or anything. But it could guide us regarding what size her head might be by Thanksgiving…

More research to do, then supplies to purchase. Then actually to make the thing. And I’ll probably do it twice, anyway, to make it right.

Yay for crafting. Yay for making clothes for my baby. I need to finish that baby blanket still… yikes. Still unsure what to do about that. I messed up the end stitch whenever I started working on it after a long hiatus, and it made the thing get wider and wider with each row. And I didn’t notice until I had completed loads more than I have originally even done. So, now, 3/4 of it is expanding and 1/4 is the right width. Utterly ridiculous. But I want to be finished with the project, so perhaps I can look at it tomorrow and determine what I really want to do with it, how I might actually use it and what would suit that use best.

Thank you, God, for my home and my family and our safety and your love. Keep us safe, make us well, and keep us together and loving, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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I attempted to understand what had happened with a stock market scenario in the show “The Gilded Age”. I learned a lot, but it took some creativity on making the information palatable for my brain. I understood immediately in the show that what they were doing was insider trading and that they were buying stocks while they were low, before an event they knew would raise the stock prices, and then selling the stocks when they went up. That I got. The rest did not end up making sense to me, though.

I read several posts on Reddit where people kept re-using the same words and phrases, even after the author said on repeat that those words didn’t make sense to him/her. Eventually, he/she explained it in his/her own words, using actual numbers and no special nouns. And I think I understand now what happened on the show. They lost their fortunes after they rescinded the law instead of making ‘a second or third fortune’ because they didn’t stop at just accepting the gains of the initial idea. I think it’s called ‘short selling’ or something like that, as well as… oh, I’ve forgotten it name, but it’s with an M and it means purchasing stocks with a loan of some sort. But they planned on the stocks dropping in price, and somehow were able to bet on that financially, which would have given them more money when the stocks dropped. And then they would re-purchase the stocks again at the new lower price, re-pass the law again, which would make the stocks rise again, and then re-sell those same stocks for, I believe, a third time. So, they would make three fortunes on the same exact stocks in that way. I believe.

Anyway, it made me feel tired comfortable not being part of it all. The stories of sadness tied to the stock market are overflowing and incredibly difficult to consider as being the real lives of real people – it has to stay in a show for me, it is too sad a thing to consider(!).

Ugh…

God, keep us safe and smart and well and together, please. Guide us always. Thank you for my family and home. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Sometimes, it is worth the loss of sleep to stay awake and snuggle with my baby girl. Awake, I can enjoy fully what a sleeping me would have loved but not been able to experience consciously. Yes, my throat is tired and my eyes are well and ready to close for the night. No, I will not enjoy having to wake so shortly after going to bed (in order to nurse the baby). But yes, it was worth it for this hour totally snuggled up together, her head tucked right into my neck, her arms and legs curved around me. Her body like the heavy weight of a cat that doesn’t want to be picked up.

Thank you, God, for this gift tonight. In your name, we pray. Amen.

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I’m not just not a fan of the American accent on the late 1800s and early 1900s. I actively dislike it. There isn’t anything that initially I can label as wrong when I hear it. But it instantly bothers me, and every time I hear it. Thinking about it tonight, I realized what it actually is. It’s that the accent is like a watered-down version of a British accent. It isn’t fully American, as I know American to be, but it also isn’t still British either. It is a sort of middle-ground between the two. It always gives me the feeling of yelling at it and telling it to pick a side(!). I don’t even mind which side it picks. Just pick one and stop being so wishy-washy!

It just rubs me wrong every time I hear it. Ugh! Haha

Yes, I’m ridiculous, I am fully aware(!).

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Sometimes, I just get really upset at people and their stupidity. The MC at the bathing suit beach revue in which my cousin participated seems to me to be a dumb person. However, the specific point that is on my mind tonight is when people add their own stuff to things that people write. It is one thing if one truly corrects grammar or an obvious misspelling or something of the sort. But changing the information or “correcting” it to something that is actually wrong are not okay for me.

In the revue, she said my cousin “is originally from San Antonio.” No, she isn’t. She moved there about a year ago. She was in Oklahoma for a few years before that. Galveston a few years before that. Houston before that. Austin before that. And the Beaumont area before that. That’s where she was born and grew up, you see, the Beaumont area. That is where she is originally from.

So, she wouldn’t have written in her own bio that she is originally from San Antonio. She might have said that she lives in San Antonio. Or even, perhaps, that she came from or is from San Antonio, because she just did and presently is from there. But there is no way she would have written that she is originally from San Antonio, because she just isn’t and has never desired to be so. So, that bothered me that the MC said that. It also made no sense saying “originally” for any of the ones she said, because she never said where they live now, the required contrast to mentioning a distinctly previous location. Aka she’s an idiot for having said that so many times about folks.

It reminds me of how someone ‘edited’ a submission I gave about my time in Japan to a digital magazine kind of thing. I checked my wording and grammar before sending it in, and I was intentional with everything I wrote. When it was published, several lines had been altered into horrid sentences that only halfway qualified as sentences, the grammar in them was so bad. I was horrified to have such dumb sh** associated with my name as something I had written. And as an English language specialist, nonetheless. The folks at the magazine had held the same position I had at some point, by the way, so they had been teaching English, too. Total idiots there. And such a shame to have such people teaching the language. Ugh.

Anyway… present frustrations that were on my mind especially strongly tonight.

God, make us well and keep us safe and together, please. Show us your will clearly. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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My husband has an interview when he wakes up. He’s in a different city for it, even. He’s staying in a hotel that is supposed to be good for networking for him, though I’m not sure if he did much of that today, given that he seemed to have passed out as soon as he arrived… hmm… poor planning on his part for that, I guess.

Nonetheless, he has an interview. It, in a way, is immensely important. I believe he is good enough and the right stuff to work at this company. We shall see if he prepared appropriately to show that via the interview, though. He has a tendency not to plan ahead appropriately for certain things. Which I’ve already mentioned… I am hoping he truly did prioritize and plan appropriately for this interview, and that it shows well in the interview.

God, help him to be true to himself, to the best version of himself. Grant him ease and grace in his interview process, that he be evaluated truly for all that he is and aims to be and do. Help him to be proud of himself. Guide him to have a clear path forward in supporting this family financially, while being fulfilled mentally and emotionally in his work. Please, keep him safe and make him well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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I always wondered what Lizzie was reading at the start of the 2005 film of Pride and Prejudice. I finally paused the film to read the text while it was onscreen. Of course, after I read a single half-sentence, I knew it was Pride and Prejudice. However, I doubted myself. Upon closer inspection, I felt my determination had been wrong. The names were not right. Cardy… Sophie… Katherine… and the home called Eastley.

But the words were just so familiar to me. Then it hit: Cardy is simply an anagram of Darcy. The names had all been changed, but the rest was all the same. She was, indeed, reading the final pages of the book whose story this film was merely beginning. How fun(!).

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