Author: hannah.ananas

Something truly scary happened this morning.

I pray that God heal us all from this morning’s events, wholly, fully, truly with His hand and His love. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

It’s been interesting to see how different people relate to us and to our baby every since I had her. Some people want us to come over, and then spend the whole time holding her and playing with her as much as so will allow them. Others, ask often for us to make a trek to visit them, and then spend not even ten minutes holding or playing with the baby combined. It’s quite weird.

I understand wanting to see the baby. But I would think people have a sense of fairness. You know, if you live far and you just want to say hi briefly, it doesn’t make sense to have us drive a long way for you just to say hi. You come to us. Or, at least, find a way to meet in the middle or something. I don’t know. Maybe those folks have no sense of the effort it requires on our end, and they think we’re just hanging about and looking for something to do all the time, and so a long drive is no big deal for us. They probably have no clue how much it messes with our sleep quality, let alone the hassle it truly is to go drive a ways and then spend time elsewhere like that. Perhaps they aren’t being malicious or mean – they’re just oblivious.

It’s still annoying, though. I get annoyed how my mom always wants me to come meet her partway somewhere, so she can see the baby. But she usually spends most of our time together physically helping me, holding the baby and burping her and changing her diaper and walking her around and all. So, it’s just the effort of getting there and getting home, really, and then I get a bit of a rest and a lot of love while visiting. (I also say no sometimes and don’t go. And she accepts that. But she also comes to us sometimes, too.) So, it’s not so bad. It’s usually quite nice in the end.

Anyway… tonight was a weird one for me. My baby is a little too active for me to be able to hold her while eating. And the dog was not reliable enough for me to set her on the ground safely. So, I just hung out and chatted and held the baby. But no one seemed to notice that I hadn’t gotten a plate of food. It was a friend I don’t know who asked if I’d eaten and offered to hold the baby for me. Like I said, it was just a bit weird. I was okay. But it was weird. And I’m very tired from it.

Also, I had a bit of a struggle on the whole financial status front tonight. No one was being nasty or anything. But everyone was just sharing about all their summer travels. Obviously, we haven’t had any ‘travels’ for the past few years. We had a weekend trip to Galveston once, and canceled anything else we planned for work/money reasons. We never got to use the companion pass we’d worked hard to make happen. (I actually feel really guilty about that one… really guilty…)

And I know we’re doing the right things now. We both did the whole ‘what you’re supposed to do’ kind of job route for a while. And we both ended up rather miserable with it, neither of us wanting to stay in our career. It has just been tough timing for us both to be making almost no money and for it to be for so long. It wasn’t what we’d hoped or planned to have happen, but it’s what’s happened. So, we’re rolling with it. I trust fully that things will go beautifully for us financially. We just have to keep at it right now. I pray a lot for clear guidance, and it seems like we keep getting that. So, one day, we’ll be able to join in the talks of our recent travels. Just not right now. And it’s weird how that simple fact – “Just not right now” – makes it feel a lot like we’re failing at life; like all the rest isn’t true. So, I’m feeling that sense of failure strongly right now. But I also know that we’ll be okay, and that it’s okay for me to be sad right now about that.

Post-a-day 2025

I have had a headache most of the day today. It has made me want to curl up and cry and sleep. Perhaps it is for lack of those things that my head hurts. Maybe it’s water. Maybe both.

Whatever the case, I shall drink some more water now and go to sleep.

God, heal us, please, and make us well. Grant us beneficial sleep tonight and each night. Help us to be well and safe and whole and together. Keep us safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Somehow, I remembered to register for the Home Depot kids event today. I was supposed to do it first thing at midnight. I was even awake then. It has been on my calendar for yesterday to remind me to do it at midnight last night. But I totally forgot. Then, today, I somehow remembered and I got registered. Turns out, they don’t fill up in an instant like I had anticipated. So, that’s a positive, I suppose. I registered at two different stores early this afternoon. (The first one turned out not to be the right one – it was automatically assigned when I opened the website, and we have at least three stores that are closer than that one, if not more. So, I registered at one I had actually wanted to use.) Now, I just have to remember to go get the actual kit in over a month when the time comes. Fingers crossed, because it’s a cool one! A crop duster!

Anyway, I ended up sucked into the phone again today, doing various seemingly important things. Yes, they mattered. But I hate spending time using my phone when I’m hands-on with my child. And my child has been very needy the past week-ish, and there’s a lot of hands-on time right now. So, it was doubly frustrating to have to deal with any extra stuff on the phone today because of that (both the hassle of it and the decrease in attention it gives my child when we’re together).

God, help me to choose less time spent on my phone each day. I have felt the guidance at nighttime – thank you. Please, continue it in the daytime, too. Please, keep our family safe and well and whole and together, especially my husband and our baby. Guide us kindly and clearly forward. Show us exactly what to do these next 24 and 72 hours for our financial future. Help us to solidify the next step in the process for us to reach financial stability and reliability, and a beautiful and fulfilling career for us both. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Sometimes, people’s… behavior, we’ll say, just pisses me off. I suppose it is all just part of the trials and tribulations involved in growing into the people God calls us to be. We can be grateful for the trials, for our growth through them allows us to be the people we want to be and to lead the lives we want to lead.

It can still be extremely difficult in the moment of the bad behavior, nonetheless.

God, help us clearly and kindly please. Guide us lovingly forward through these trials, and encourage us effectively, please. Keep us safe and well and together, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

You know, I never anticipated that I would be messaging people to make connections so that I could buy an airplane. What’s more, I don’t even really have money like that – it’s all loans and pulling retirement savings. But it is all so that, in the future, we can afford to buy our own airplane if we wish. Investments can be quite weird at times. Haha

God, please, continue to guide us clearly and kindly. Help us to lead the lives we long to lead. Be with us always. Please, keep us safe and well and together and with you. Thank you for everything. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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I asked for clear guidance for our career and financial path, and for this week especially. I had anticipated that to mean for my husband’s career path only. However, God has made it abundantly clear on how I need to pursue properly my own path.

I let my aunt know tonight that tomorrow is my last day helping to care for my grandmother. I still will be sure to see her and will be sure she gets to see my daughter, of course. But I will not be working to help care for her anymore. I love her, and I need to be responsible for my actual job, which is being a mother, a homemaker, and a wife. My husband and I chose this career together for me to do, and everything within me felt right in choosing so. That I did this extra work to help us out financially did make sense for a short while. But that short while has ended, and God made it clear the past few days especially that it is time to return fully to my “real job”, as it were.

And I have a whole load of stuff that has gotten pushed aside these past few weeks I’ve helped care for my grandmother. So, it won’t be a cakewalk to dive back into it all full-time. But, after I’ve recovered the bit more that I need after tomorrow, I’m actually quite looking forward to all that I will be getting to do each day. I’m excited about the satisfaction that will come with the hard work’s completion, as well as the relief and joy of having a home we enjoy being inside, of having a home that functions and is beautiful. It will take a while for that all to land in place, but I’m excited to get started on it all again. And, I’m excited to start building a routine and an educational adventure of a schedule with my daughter. I will be able to turn my focus to her for more than just a bit more often than the times she cries – such a beautiful change from the present situation, which has left us both crying far too often.

Thank you for my husband. Thank you for our home. Thank you for our new family (aka our daughter). And thank you for this clear guidance. Please, continue to give it. Please, keep us safe, make us well and whole, and keep us together and in your hands. In your name, Lord Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

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Or don’t. I’ve got a hang nail and it is hurting a lot. I haven’t had one like this in a long time. I had to break back out the arnica gel for it, which I have used, maybe, once in the past year. I used to have to use it all the time for hang nails that hurt. Then, they sort of just stopped happening..: not sure why, really. Food for thought now, though(!). Hmm…

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P.S. My baby is officially six months old, as of 28 minutes ago. Hallelujah!

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“Would it be worth starting with the little plane, and then selling it as you upgrade to a bigger one? So you can start getting extra hours asap”

The things I consider in the middle of the night… And that’s only a message I sent in the middle of the night. Let’s not forget the several I didn’t send because it was not acceptable to be sending random thoughts to folks so late at night.

My brain just does such varied yet good quality thinking late at night right now.

Imagine what it could do in the mornings on a full night’s sleep several days in a row.

Post-a-day 2025