Author: hannah.ananas

Hurricane prep today and tonight.

God, keep us safe, please. Keep our home safe and cool, please. Help me to be well while growing this baby. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Yesterday, a friend brought me helpful items for my pregnancy. She also told me that she and one of her best friends, also a friend of mine, put together a list for first-time parents that she would send me. And she said she would mark on it the things that she has already that she will be giving me. What’s more, when I showed her our guest room that had been reconfigured to become a baby room, and I mentioned that the bed in it, of course, would be relaxed at some point by a crib, she said that she has a crib we can have. She apparently has two, but only one child is still using one. So, we can basically pick which we want and have it. We just need to get a mattress for it, as she only has one of those.

Today, another friend very kindly gave me backup medical supplies, should we need them on another day like yesterday turned out to be, and then made food for me to have this afternoon. They were random requests, but she was totally game and did them for me. Unfortunately, she used smoked meat for the green beans, and smoke is a smell I can not tolerate right now. So, the green beans didn’t work out. But the French toast did and was very helpful.

I am just very grateful for the help and obvious love of friends.

Thank you, God, for friends. Thank you for the love you have shared with me through them. Help release me from this nausea, please, that I grow and nourish this baby while also preparing our beautiful home for its arrival. Help me to rest appropriately while also being productive with our home while I am home this summer, please. Grant me freedom from this nausea, that I may grow this baby with joy and gratitude, along with my humbleness. Because I have been humbled. Thank you for this all. And heal me from the nausea and bloating, please. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Yesterday was surprisingly better by a lot. And then we have today, which has been worse than it’s been in over a week. I felt miserable most of the day, despite the morning hurl. I struggled to eat, and got even worse by evening. Had a total breakdown trying to find food at dinner time in a local shopping and restaurant area, and ended up with some bread slices that I kind of hated and cost me far too much money for what they were. But they were 890 calories, so I went ahead and ate them. By the time I got home and tried eating more cereal, one of the only things I’ve been able to stomach lately, but couldn’t seem to shake the nausea, I hurled up everything anyway. Fortunately, the horrible bread sauce taste was gone. Sadly, so were all the calories.

My husband said my butt looked cute while I was hurling, though, so that was an unexpected positive of a terrible situation.

I ended up eating a bit of mint ice cream, as it has helped lately with both nausea and calories. However, after an hour or so, I started feeling quite nauseous again, and am not sure I won’t throw it up in the next hour, though I’m getting into bed now.

So, dreadful day for sickness.

But a friend brought me a Mary picture, some nausea bracelet-bands, and a bunch of maternity clothes. That was awesomely helpful, both mentally and financially. But it was also great to have someone spending time with me. She even said we can have one of her cribs, as it isn’t being used anymore, and she will come back in a few months, when I’m feeling way better and up to it, and she’ll help me baby-proof the house. So, that was great.

But the nausea was dreadful…. still is…

God, help me, please… heal me of this nausea, and keep this baby growing well, please. Please…. And keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

I ate food today. We went to my grandma’s to sit in the pool a bit before having a barbecue dinner at her place. I was worried the smell would be an immediate no for me, but it wasn’t. And I couldn’t eat the majority of what was on the meal plate, but I was able to trade for the pieces I could eat from my grandma, and I have the rest of my plate to my mom and my husband. And the wait staff even managed to bring me an extra piece of one item that had been particularly satisfying for me.

So, in the end, I ate a lot. A full meal. Not just a meal – a full meal. I even had a few of the dessert bites in the lounge afterward, and discovered that I was actually kind of stuffed after having eaten them. I hadn’t realized just how much I had eaten. And I couldn’t dwell on it. I just hoped it would stay down and digest fully and nourish us well.

So far, it seems to have done so. We are six hours after the fact, and I feel relatively okay. A positive sign, though only more time will tell for sure.

Okay, anyway, aiming to sleep now.

God, bless this night that we sleep well and effectively. Nourish us with the food I have eaten today, please. Keep this baby and me safe and well, please. Keep my husband safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Now, I’ve also got a headache. Because the nausea and bloating weren’t enough on their own today.

This is not easy and I do not particularly like it or want to have to do it ever again.

God, help me to grow this child well and to be a good mother and wife. Keep my husband safe, please, and heal me of this nausea. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

When my cousins – well, two of them, and they’re siblings – were in town recently, our grandma kicked us out early, so she could get ready for bed in silence. This was even though my cousins were staying with her that night. Actually, only one was, I think. I guess the other was staying with her in-laws down the road or something, though I really don’t remember. I just know she wasn’t staying with us.

Anyway, moving on.

My grandma sent us out, so we went to the community room on her floor that has a pool table. Since we were there, we went ahead and played a bit while we hung out. At one point, the male cousin asks me what the number time biggest difference is being married. (They last saw me the week of my wedding a few months beforehand.) I considered the question briefly, then responded, “The sex.”

I looked to the other cousin, who is also married and is quite Catholic, and she made a face and nodded vigorously in honest agreement. It was the same for her when she got married all those years ago. Her brother, however, seemed a bit stunned for a few moments. After a brief consideration, he accepted the situation for what is was, laughed, and agreed that, ‘Yes, that would be a really big difference.’

We all had a good chuckle over it. His question might be differently answered – well, it certainly would be so – by most couples these days after they marry. But our answer was the comically obvious one, given that our relationship was uncommonly Christ-centered for these modern times. I don’t know many couples who operated so on their relationship with one another before marriage, and it never surprised me when people assumed we were having sex all along, since it is so common. But it was a touch surprising that this one cousin didn’t know, because everyone else in the family certainly did. So, it was just really silly to have that question, given our rather known circumstances.

Anyway, I’m rambling… I’m just so sick to my stomach right now from the hormones, I can barely focus. Ugh…. It was supposed to be a little funny story, though I’m not so sure it panned out in the telling this time.

Oh, my stomach….. uuuhhhhhhhh(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)…

God, heal me of the nausea while making the baby healthy, please. Keep my husband safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

My husband passed his stage check for flying. Great news. And a bit of a big deal. He stopped at a public pool afterward to have a cool down and some time to relax before driving the four-ish hours home. He informed me via a cute little video of him in the actual pool and the message, “Celebratory dip, then heading home to my beautiful, pregnant, wife 😎”.

Initially, I responded that I wanted to swim with him, because I did. But then, after rereading his message, I found myself saying aloud, “I’m someone’s beautiful, pregnant wife,” as I totally broke down into sobs. They were of joy, of course. But the whole pregnancy thing makes emotions all the stronger, and the fact of my being pregnant – and successfully this time – combing with being beautiful to someone and with being that someone’s wife just threw me into an intense, sob-filled joy for a while. Totally ugly cry, not pretty cry on that one. And then I missed my husband. And I wished I could be in that pool with him. And I wished I weren’t so sick and could have just gone with him in the first place. AKA lots of emotion in those few minutes there. But it was great.

On the other hand, lots of emotion tonight, when I hurled for a solid five minutes, losing all the food I had been able to eat for dinner etc. And it burned, too, which makes it all the worse. So, dreadful experience there that also had me in ugly tears and sobs.

And then I found out that my husband had to take a rest – which I fully support, by the way, because tired driving is not okay, not at all, but it still made me sad that it would be longer before I got to see him again – and so wouldn’t be home in half an hour, as originally predicted.

So, I’m in bed now, feeling ill, throat still tingling a bit, back of my mouth totally weird-feeling and warm, hoping I’ll be able to sleep for a while. And also that I forget about the silverfish that was crawling on the foot of the bed after my shower tonight. Our home is cleaner than ever, and yet we have more bugs than ever. I am so over this pest control company. Clearly, they are not effective. It was both cheaper and loads more effective when my husband just did it all on his own. But we have to go through their July treatment in order not to have to back-pay the discount we got when we signed up last year. So, one more month with them, then never again with them. Yippee.

Oh, golly…

God, keep my husband safe, please. Make this baby well and healthy and all we have longed to have for our family, please. Help me to sleep well at night, tonight includes. Heal me of this nausea and bloating, please… please. Help my grandma to find comfort and joy, despite the loss of her friend. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

I didn’t throw up this morning, and that worried me a bit. When I didn’t throw up the other morning, it ended up happening a little while after eating instead. And that is loads worse than first thing in the morning, when all the food has been digested, and only the hormones and water are coming up.

However, it didn’t ever come up today.

I never felt very good this morning, since I didn’t have the morning hurl, but the overall experience today felt a touch better than yesterday. I even helped my husband in the yard by using the blower after he was doing weed-eating. I only manage about twenty minutes or so, if that, and I was mostly in the shade, but I did it voluntarily and felt kind of okay-ish while doing it. Afterward, however, I felt just as dreadful as most afternoons go, same with this evening and night so far. So, minor improvement, it seems, but an improvement, nonetheless.

May it continue to improve tonight and tomorrow.

God, thank you for the help today. Help me to sleep well tonight, please. Make this baby well and healthy and growing properly, please. Heal me of my nausea and bloating. Help me to start getting things done at home, please. I have the time now, and I’d like to be able to use it and to rest when needed, please. Thank you for the opportunity. Please, keep my husband safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

I slept okay last night. It wasn’t great, but I wasn’t in pain half the night, which helped immensely. I likely got eight hours of sleep, across all the wake-ups and bathroom breaks. I slept almost three hours at a time.

I was much more functional throughout most of today. However, things went downhill in the evening. I’m going to bed with a very swollen stomach, filled with gas. I am really hoping my body will release the gas very soon, so I’ll have a chance at sleeping tonight.

The interactions of today helped me emotionally and psychologically, too. Late this afternoon, I heard my husband take off on the motorcycle – he’d been working on it, and it clearly was finally good to go again – and so rushed to throw on some of his clothes – mine don’t fit anymore, except for dresses – and head outside to join him. It took a few minutes, but, when he came back, I hitched a ride (and he let me). I asked him just to stay 25 and below, because I already wasn’t feeling too great in my stomach.

So, I mounted up behind him, and we took a comfortable stroll around the big block on his bike. I really enjoyed it. It’s been probably close to a year since either of us has really ridden (thus why he had so much work to do on it), and this was a definite treat. When he went across the ditch, however, I was not so delighted. It wasn’t that I was scared, but that I nearly threw up all over him on the last bit of the bumpy uphill. Otherwise, though, I really enjoyed the ride.

Thank you, God, for this day and its blessings. Help me to be healed of this nausea and bloating. Make the baby safe and well, growing perfectly with your help in me, please. Keep my husband safe. Help us all to sleep well at night. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

It’s really hard to want to give up. Even for something I have wanted for so long. The long suffering of not having it was its own sort of torture, sure, but it was a very doable torture for me. Being so terribly nauseous and bloated all the time and for so long now – it’s been a month of literally constant nausea – has worn me down badly today. Very badly.

I find myself considering not wanting to do it anymore; giving it up just so I don’t have to be sick anymore. And that feels terrible. I am so sad and disappointed that I am even having these thoughts, especially after having made it past the worst of the nausea. I’m still miserable and nauseous all the time, burnt isn’t as bad as it was even a week ago, let alone two weeks ago. And yet, it persists, and I am wearing thin.

God, help me, please. Allow me to trust you completely. Heal me of this nausea and help me to grow this baby well and perfectly without the nausea. Please. I don’t feel like I can do this anymore, and I am so ashamed of how I feel – heal me of this, too, please. All is possible through you. Keep my husband safe, please. Help me to sleep well and keep the baby safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024