Awaiting the reasonable release of afternoon traffic, I sit facing Half Price Books and enjoy a too-sweet Bubble Tea, alternating between reading my newest book selection and setting up an Etsy shop on my laptop. My phone rings – it’s my mom. Good! She’s returning my call; I can ask her my health-related question now.
“Hey… have you been on Facebook?” she begins.
“No… What happened?”
“I just talked to Anthony,” and I somehow knew what she was in the middle of saying, “John died early this morning.”
After a brief discussion – she’s in the middle of an out-of-town event, but she wanted to make sure I heard it from her instead of some lame Facebook post – in which she reminded me several times to breathe, I was left alone with my closed laptop and sunglasses, clutching my near-dead phone (what a concept), keeled over my chair, wailing in despair.
Mere moments later, I was clinging desperately to a girl (aged 27) named Stephanie, who had stopped to check on me, and had graciously accepted my request for a hug. She had me tell her a bit about John, and we chatted some about schools and work (Turns out she is a nurse, and was involved in the software training just recently managed by my brother at her hospital.). Once I was thinking and breathing like a normal person again, we actually exchanged names and a chuckle over the “pleasure” of making one another’s acquaintance. And for whatever reason, this was a wonderful way to meet someone.
When she finally went inside for her own Bubble Tea (after firmly denying my offer to purchase it for her), I noticed that the small rally-type group down the block was singing a Christian worship song. “Huh. God is all around [me right now],” was my passing thought.
Our dear friend John has moved onward in the universe, into a more disorderly form of himself (search E = mc2 and the law of the conservation of mass-energy). And he gave me an angel (plus an easy way to make time fly while waiting for that traffic to die down (again, what a concept)). This, however, did not surprise me.
The surprising part was that this wasn’t the first time I’d had this happen. It was as though this just might be a trend – that my friends, my loved ones, send me angels when I need them most. And I think it is not only when I feel I have lost those specific loved ones. Perhaps this was merely a reminder that Angels are watching over me, that they are here for me. Perhaps this has created an opportunity for me to dive into my ocean of a life, instead of just dipping in my toes. Because wherever I go, whatever I do, Angels will arise for me.
I love you, John. Thank you. 🙂
hannah ananas 