Stress and hormones

I had to reach out to a friend today for some emotional-mental guidance. Long story short, people either didn’t follow the registry – remember that I worked in that thing for hours and hours, truly curated what I wanted surrounding us and our baby – or didn’t fill okie the registry properly when they bought things. So, I got a lot of ugly stuff and a lot of multiples of things I wanted but only as singles. And, to ice it, most people did not give me gift receipts. Actually, for the most part, the people who followed the registry perfectly and filled it out properly also gave me gift receipts. No… that’s not true. Even those people didn’t have them for the most part. Okay, so, three people followed the registry and filled it out and gave me gift receipts, and one person halfway followed the registry, but included her receipt for all the stuff, both registry and not, so I could return any and all of it, as desired. So, four people gave me gift receipts. Out of 40+. That’s quite shocking, really. I hadn’t even thought of that until just now. Wow. Just wild.

So, anyway, working through how to manage that. I messaged this friend about it all and said how I knew it was all totally fine and okay, but that I was still totally crying and felt dumb for it, plus I didn’t know what to do about it all. She was very helpful. She assured me that, when people go off-registry for their purchases, they are taking a risk called ‘I might not like it/want it’. And I don’t need to feel bad about not wanting the things. It isn’t a lack of gratitude. It is simply something I don’t like. I am still grateful for their love and support in the form of their presence and presents.

I just also don’t like gray clothes almost at all, and am very particular about colors and patterns in general. So, when they decide to get gray clothes because they don’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl – and let’s remember that I had a specially curated list of clothes and everything else that I provided to all – they can pretty much guarantee that they’re giving me something I will not like. It isn’t personal. It’s just strong preferences.

On top of it all, I’m working not to have a bunch of excess and superfluous stuff in my life already, and especially so for the baby stuff. So, it was a bit of a disaster in that sense for me emotionally to have a bunch of stuff we either didn’t want or need (or both).

I know it may seem silly, but I was genuinely excited at every registry gift I received. And I was grateful incredibly to each person who provided the item or items. That person was directly surrounding me with things that I love and that will be very helpful in my life in the near (and, sometimes, distant) future.

Anyway, supposedly Target will accept returns for items that they for sure sell, up to a certain amount. So, I’m hoping that will handle a good chunk of this stuff. I intend to look further into this before showing up to Target with a bag o’ stuff. Even if it is a $100 limit, that still would be incredibly helpful. (Ironically, there’s a lot of stuff I actually like in the Target baby section, though smirky clothing…)

Thank you, God, for friends and love and understanding and help. Make me and the baby and my husband well and fit, please, and keep us safe. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Well, then…

I think it worked out. Sure, we had no cold beverages for the first half hour of the party, and everyone was trying to greet me while I was figuring out how to manage the dreadful and unexpected situation – my mom forgot to out the cold beverages in the fridge, where I had cleared out space for her yesterday specifically to put them last night, and we had almost no ice to gel the situation either. But I pulled out some big San Pellegrino bottles and a bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider from the outside fridge that had been there from our wedding, as well as some of the small plastic cups from the wedding, and that helped immensely until a family friend was able to go down the road and get us some bags of ice. Oddly, my mom had seemed almost disinterested in resolving the issue, though she had straight up caused it. She was just so focused on everything else on her list that was behind schedule (like having the food out and ready, as well as all the hot beverages out and ready), it seemed like her brain just didn’t care to process that no one even had water to drink. However, we got it sorted and everyone seemed to settle in pretty well, both in the house and in the backyard.

The weather ended up being warmer than I had hoped, but it was, fortunately, still cool enough for folks to be outside period, and several sat around the table on the patio under the umbrella to chat for a while (and others explored and checked out the chickens!). I managed to chat with most people, but not all. I was sad not to talk with one old co-worker in particular. But I was still incredibly happy that he had come. I was also delighted to see how he seemed so mentally and emotionally well and comfortable within himself, as well as how well he looked physically. I have never seen him so well on either front, and it was awesome.

I also didn’t get to chat much with my husband’s family folks who attended, but I did at least get to interact for a couple minutes with each of them. I guess it was kind of the same with a lot of folks. But I was just so happy they were around me, just greeting them and having them there was a blessing for me, and I was grateful for their presence and their love.

It was extra-great to reconnect with a few folks, and I am very grateful to have had that opportunity. I hope to maintain those reconnections, as they are absolutely blessings, each of them!

My husband’s gathering went well, too.

Side note: Everyone st my party raved about the the food. Many complimented the décor, too. My mom did a great job (aside from the cold drinks and no-water mishap at the start), and people seemed very satisfied with the event. It went a touch long for some folks, and my quite a third left before we even did the guessing game or opened presents, but it made it all the nicer and more intimate for those two events. It was definitely fun at that point(!).

Anyway, apparently around 13 or so guys showed up at the beer garden to join my husband. Some family on both our sides, and some friends. And then, as he was wrapping things up, a friend who had left my party had joined her husband over there, and they and my husband and my brother all had a couple rounds together, just the four of them. Though I felt like I was missing out, I was happy just chilling with my family at the house post-party and chilling. And I’m really happy that they got to hang together like that after my husband’s thing.

The friend who joined them apparently told my husband to return the diapers his brother had given him. 😛 She said they barely work and that we would hate them, so definitely return them. I thought that was hilarious, and also so my friend. 😀

Thank you, God, for today and it’s love and successes. Thank you. Please, make me and the baby and my husband well, and keep us all three safe. Thank you for my family and their love. Keep them safe, too, please. And grant ease, please, to all who attended today and shared their love with us – May it return to them tenfold through your arms. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Ready or not…

The party is in the morning. I have a lot to do in the morning, mostly things that involve sticking stuff where it doesn’t belong so that we have enough space in the public areas. But I should be okay getting it all done. Going to bed so late is a terrible start for it all, but here we are. 2:30am bedtime it is tonight.

God, help me to sleep well, please, and to have a great party in the morning. Make me and the baby and my husband well, please, and keep us safe. Help my husband to sleep well tonight, too, please, and to enjoy his time at his event tomorrow, too. Help us always to see and pursue and fulfill your will, being our best selves. Thank you for this home and this love and this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Getting there

Didn’t get the guest room fully handled, but did get it to an acceptable form for my sister to stay with us. There’s a whole lot of stuff piled on the floor on the far side of the bed and on the desk, plus all the printer stuff and my husband’s work stuff song the wall st the foot of the bed. However, the whole left side of the room (and the bed, of course) is cleared and is open, usable space. All-in-all it isn’t terrible, but it rather decent. For a family member to stay, that is.

The rest of the house is looking quite decent, too. Still lots of little details to do tomorrow. Plus, my husband has a whole load of junk he has to do tomorrow. He will not have an easy day, to be sure. But I also have accepted that he picked doing it this way. He has had a very clear and prioritized and specific list available to him for quite a while now, several weeks at least. He has had plenty of chances to get it all done, and he picked putting it almost all off until the last minute. So, his stress is on him tomorrow. I love him and I support him. And I don’t have to take on his own lack of integrity or preparedness/planning ahead. I offered lots of support that was declined, and now I must continue my own work tomorrow to finalize things on my end.

God, help us both accomplish what we have on the lists for tomorrow, please. Grant us ease and peace and gratitude through it all. Thank you for this life and this opportunity. Help us to be kind and loving to one another and to others, tomorrow especially. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Eggs

We received our third little white egg today. Of the two new chickens, one is genetically a white-egg layer and the other is a brown-egg layer. So, we know which one it is, though we haven’t seen her lay any of the eggs or heard her make noise about them. Ironically, it is the white chicken, and she is half the size of the other. The blue-gray one will make brown eggs at some point. I’m not sure how much bigger she needs to get before hitting maturity for laying eggs, but it’s funny that the tiny one is laying now, the one picked on the the other chickens any time they’re all out in the yard… the one with the highest stress levels, most likely. But there we have it. Little white-y is laying little white eggs now, it seems, and fluffy blue is just chillin’ still. Haha

Post-a-day 2024

Bizarre progressions

My bellybutton is a massive, shallow crater at this point, and it weirds me out. It was already flattening out well over a month ago. But it seems to be just continuing to widen its ridges, yet keeping roughly the same depth. I imagine the depth actually is changing, but it is very subtle. The diameter of it, however, has obviously continued to grow, along with the circumference, of course. It boggles my mind, to be sure. And it slightly freaks me out whenever I actually look at it. Just weird…

Bizarre progressions, indeed(!).

Post-a-day 2024

Okay

I got some things done today. Got the nursery set, I think, which relieved a load of strain on the back of my brain. Just have to find a way to get the mirror rotated on the wall… it doesn’t seem to have hooks for a vertical mounting, though it seems to have the hooks on both the top and the bottom for a horizontal mounting. So, that’s not helpful. However, my husband’s brief comment on it made it seem like a very doable thing. So, hoping for an easy process there. Hopefully, I can purchase and attach the part or parts tomorrow.

Also got some other things started in the newly-made office/guest room. We had basically piled all the extra stuff in there (and by “we”, I knew the royal “we”, of course), so it is all contained in one space to be sorted. And I feel like I made some positive strides with that stuff today. Not massive results, but it created the space for further progress tomorrow, for sure.

Of course, I’m going to be for a good chunk of tomorrow, much like today. So, I’ll just have to do as I did today and get a bit done in the morning, then the majority done before bed at night….

But yeah… that was a not-awesome discovery last night, that I would be gone most of today and most of tomorrow. Both days on which I really need to be getting things done at home. Especially since my mom and her friend are coming Wednesday basically to set up everything for the party, serving dishes and decorations and all but the food itself. And I think she said today that they’re coming around 10:30am, which is usually only an hour and a half after I’m actually functional for the day (which excludes eating time, of course). So, I won’t exactly have loads I can accomplish Wednesday morning. Perhaps I simply will be up quite late tomorrow night, working through the exhaustion just to get it all done. Again, it is a doable task now, getting everything tidy enough for how I want it for the party. But it is definitely still a lot. And I am pregnant and exhausted to start the day, let alone do loads of housework-esque stuff all evening.

But I did put together the cute wooden airplane rocker that my brother got for the baby to use. It really is cute. I’m thinking of adding our own tail number to it at some point… personalize it and all. It’s meant to be an adorable decorative piece for the shower, and I believe it now will succeed, given it’s no longer in a cardboard delivery box by the door…

I also cleaned out the backseat of my car for the most part, because I had tot ale people to the airport this morning. So, I now need to deal with that stuff that is sitting in the dining room (and the give-away stuff in there already). But I do feel relief not having my car so loaded anymore. Truly. It’s been a wild time these past several months, to be sure. I needed this easing of car clutter. I don’t usually let it get so bad in the first place, let alone have it stay for months. That’s how rough it has been since I got my car back from the repair shop a few months ago.

Anyway… so, yeah… stuff to do tomorrow. But I can do it! And I shall.

I also have already mentally thrown together options of how to throw things temporarily into our room and just roll with it on Saturday. I’m hoping it only will be the laundry and the random baby things we normally would keep in the living room but that need to move in order to make space for people. We shall see. Tomorrow determines much(!).

Goodnight.

God, help me to do well, please. Guide me in your will for me. Make me and the baby and my husband well, please, and keep us safe. Thank you for this life and this brain and body. Thank you for my husband. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Sunday night

Well, neither of us quite kept track of the day fully today. My husband genuinely forgot entirely that today was Sunday. I forgot multiple times, then remembered again before forgetting again. That kind of thing. We were both exhausted from life period, I think. Yes, we went to bed late last night, but we also still got 7-8 hours of sleep. Then he had a possible flight that ended up canceling after he headed up for it, due to weather. It was a 50/50 as to whether he’d be able to do the flight. (That could have been a pun! Haha!) He wasn’t surprised to have it canceled, but definitely bummed. As was I.

After my mom came and dropped off more stuff for the shower this coming weekend, as well as some food she’d gotten for me yesterday, I ate a good, solid lunch, and then my husband and I both passed out in our new chairs, side by side. He set a timer for 22 minutes. I told him he might as well do 40, because there was no chance he would get up after only 22 minutes. (He doesn’t do well with naps in the first place in terms of actually getting up after only a short time.) But he didn’t change it.

So, we lay down around five PM. Yes, I did mention that we rest just needed to get stuff done for a bit and just go to bed early. But he was incredibly tired, and I was pretty worn myself, so, I let it be.

I woke up somewhat several times, mostly due to sciatic pains. But never got to full-on, let’s get moving again consciousness. Just enough to see that he was still curled up in his chair next to me, and to notice how much darker it was getting outside and, therefore, in the house. When I finally was awake, it was about 8pm and incredibly dark. We hadn’t had any lights on in the house, apparently, which definitely had added to our having be so easily pulled back into sleep the whole time.

We got up and went to the grocer for a couple things he’d forgotten to get yesterday, and for me to have a look for anything else I might be able to eat and drink. We accomplished finding all the aforementioned items, but my husband was embarrassed with how slowly I moved and operated. I wasn’t terribly slow. But, as I found out right after we got home, I think he had an outside – or, rather, inside – influence making him want to hurry up at the store. He was a bit cranky, but not exactly mean. Just somewhat annoyed at my slowness. However, when we got home, when I was trying to tell him about something, he told me to be quick, because he was rushing to the bathroom.

Aah… now, that made sense for his annoyance at my not going faster. His bowels were getting impatient. And I can understand that completely, especially these days. (I get out of bed most mornings not because I’m ready to get up but because my bowels start acting like I am about to explode, at which point I shove myself out of bed as fast as possible and shuffle quickly to the bathroom to release the misery. Oftentimes, I pass back out in bed afterward, because I am finally relieved but still exhausted.)

Anyway, we didn’t have a typical Sunday at all, and the rainy, overcast day didn’t help us to be on track with things beyond laziness. But it was still a good day. I feel quite satisfied with today, which seems bizarre. However, I think just getting to be with my husband as we did, including that he held me for a while in the morning after I went through the typical miserable morning BM and gut-tossing hurl, made all the difference. We didn’t accomplish loads on our lists or anything. But we spent some quality time together throughout the whole day. And that was awesome. And fulfilling.

Thank you, God, for this unexpected day of grace and blessing. Help us to follow and to want your will, please. Make me and the baby and my husband well and fit, please, and keep us all safe. Help me to accomplish well my goals and tasks for this week, and to do them well in advance of the shower. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Oops

Some days, we follow a reasonable schedule. And some days, we follow the dumbest schedule ever. Today has been the latter for me. Finally going to bed just after three AM. I felt crappy the first half of the day, and slept a bunch. Then rested on the sofa after I got up after 11am. Then felt better after eating loads for a while, and so was able to get some things done in the house. After we set up the crib, I rearranged furniture in the baby room multiple times, and still hate how it’s all sitting now. But I got some stuff done today. Most of it was later tonight, but whatever. I did. Going to bed exhausted but feeling positive about having accomplished some important things today.

Dear God, please help my husband to regain his fitness. Make him and the baby and me well and safe, please. Guide us to be our best selves. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024