Now, I’ve also got a headache. Because the nausea and bloating weren’t enough on their own today.
This is not easy and I do not particularly like it or want to have to do it ever again.
God, help me to grow this child well and to be a good mother and wife. Keep my husband safe, please, and heal me of this nausea. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
When my cousins – well, two of them, and they’re siblings – were in town recently, our grandma kicked us out early, so she could get ready for bed in silence. This was even though my cousins were staying with her that night. Actually, only one was, I think. I guess the other was staying with her in-laws down the road or something, though I really don’t remember. I just know she wasn’t staying with us.
Anyway, moving on.
My grandma sent us out, so we went to the community room on her floor that has a pool table. Since we were there, we went ahead and played a bit while we hung out. At one point, the male cousin asks me what the number time biggest difference is being married. (They last saw me the week of my wedding a few months beforehand.) I considered the question briefly, then responded, “The sex.”
I looked to the other cousin, who is also married and is quite Catholic, and she made a face and nodded vigorously in honest agreement. It was the same for her when she got married all those years ago. Her brother, however, seemed a bit stunned for a few moments. After a brief consideration, he accepted the situation for what is was, laughed, and agreed that, ‘Yes, that would be a really big difference.’
We all had a good chuckle over it. His question might be differently answered – well, it certainly would be so – by most couples these days after they marry. But our answer was the comically obvious one, given that our relationship was uncommonly Christ-centered for these modern times. I don’t know many couples who operated so on their relationship with one another before marriage, and it never surprised me when people assumed we were having sex all along, since it is so common. But it was a touch surprising that this one cousin didn’t know, because everyone else in the family certainly did. So, it was just really silly to have that question, given our rather known circumstances.
Anyway, I’m rambling… I’m just so sick to my stomach right now from the hormones, I can barely focus. Ugh…. It was supposed to be a little funny story, though I’m not so sure it panned out in the telling this time.
Oh, my stomach….. uuuhhhhhhhh(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)…
God, heal me of the nausea while making the baby healthy, please. Keep my husband safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
My husband passed his stage check for flying. Great news. And a bit of a big deal. He stopped at a public pool afterward to have a cool down and some time to relax before driving the four-ish hours home. He informed me via a cute little video of him in the actual pool and the message, “Celebratory dip, then heading home to my beautiful, pregnant, wife 😎”.
Initially, I responded that I wanted to swim with him, because I did. But then, after rereading his message, I found myself saying aloud, “I’m someone’s beautiful, pregnant wife,” as I totally broke down into sobs. They were of joy, of course. But the whole pregnancy thing makes emotions all the stronger, and the fact of my being pregnant – and successfully this time – combing with being beautiful to someone and with being that someone’s wife just threw me into an intense, sob-filled joy for a while. Totally ugly cry, not pretty cry on that one. And then I missed my husband. And I wished I could be in that pool with him. And I wished I weren’t so sick and could have just gone with him in the first place. AKA lots of emotion in those few minutes there. But it was great.
On the other hand, lots of emotion tonight, when I hurled for a solid five minutes, losing all the food I had been able to eat for dinner etc. And it burned, too, which makes it all the worse. So, dreadful experience there that also had me in ugly tears and sobs.
And then I found out that my husband had to take a rest – which I fully support, by the way, because tired driving is not okay, not at all, but it still made me sad that it would be longer before I got to see him again – and so wouldn’t be home in half an hour, as originally predicted.
So, I’m in bed now, feeling ill, throat still tingling a bit, back of my mouth totally weird-feeling and warm, hoping I’ll be able to sleep for a while. And also that I forget about the silverfish that was crawling on the foot of the bed after my shower tonight. Our home is cleaner than ever, and yet we have more bugs than ever. I am so over this pest control company. Clearly, they are not effective. It was both cheaper and loads more effective when my husband just did it all on his own. But we have to go through their July treatment in order not to have to back-pay the discount we got when we signed up last year. So, one more month with them, then never again with them. Yippee.
Oh, golly…
God, keep my husband safe, please. Make this baby well and healthy and all we have longed to have for our family, please. Help me to sleep well at night, tonight includes. Heal me of this nausea and bloating, please… please. Help my grandma to find comfort and joy, despite the loss of her friend. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I didn’t throw up this morning, and that worried me a bit. When I didn’t throw up the other morning, it ended up happening a little while after eating instead. And that is loads worse than first thing in the morning, when all the food has been digested, and only the hormones and water are coming up.
However, it didn’t ever come up today.
I never felt very good this morning, since I didn’t have the morning hurl, but the overall experience today felt a touch better than yesterday. I even helped my husband in the yard by using the blower after he was doing weed-eating. I only manage about twenty minutes or so, if that, and I was mostly in the shade, but I did it voluntarily and felt kind of okay-ish while doing it. Afterward, however, I felt just as dreadful as most afternoons go, same with this evening and night so far. So, minor improvement, it seems, but an improvement, nonetheless.
May it continue to improve tonight and tomorrow.
God, thank you for the help today. Help me to sleep well tonight, please. Make this baby well and healthy and growing properly, please. Heal me of my nausea and bloating. Help me to start getting things done at home, please. I have the time now, and I’d like to be able to use it and to rest when needed, please. Thank you for the opportunity. Please, keep my husband safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I slept okay last night. It wasn’t great, but I wasn’t in pain half the night, which helped immensely. I likely got eight hours of sleep, across all the wake-ups and bathroom breaks. I slept almost three hours at a time.
I was much more functional throughout most of today. However, things went downhill in the evening. I’m going to bed with a very swollen stomach, filled with gas. I am really hoping my body will release the gas very soon, so I’ll have a chance at sleeping tonight.
The interactions of today helped me emotionally and psychologically, too. Late this afternoon, I heard my husband take off on the motorcycle – he’d been working on it, and it clearly was finally good to go again – and so rushed to throw on some of his clothes – mine don’t fit anymore, except for dresses – and head outside to join him. It took a few minutes, but, when he came back, I hitched a ride (and he let me). I asked him just to stay 25 and below, because I already wasn’t feeling too great in my stomach.
So, I mounted up behind him, and we took a comfortable stroll around the big block on his bike. I really enjoyed it. It’s been probably close to a year since either of us has really ridden (thus why he had so much work to do on it), and this was a definite treat. When he went across the ditch, however, I was not so delighted. It wasn’t that I was scared, but that I nearly threw up all over him on the last bit of the bumpy uphill. Otherwise, though, I really enjoyed the ride.
Thank you, God, for this day and its blessings. Help me to be healed of this nausea and bloating. Make the baby safe and well, growing perfectly with your help in me, please. Keep my husband safe. Help us all to sleep well at night. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
It’s really hard to want to give up. Even for something I have wanted for so long. The long suffering of not having it was its own sort of torture, sure, but it was a very doable torture for me. Being so terribly nauseous and bloated all the time and for so long now – it’s been a month of literally constant nausea – has worn me down badly today. Very badly.
I find myself considering not wanting to do it anymore; giving it up just so I don’t have to be sick anymore. And that feels terrible. I am so sad and disappointed that I am even having these thoughts, especially after having made it past the worst of the nausea. I’m still miserable and nauseous all the time, burnt isn’t as bad as it was even a week ago, let alone two weeks ago. And yet, it persists, and I am wearing thin.
God, help me, please. Allow me to trust you completely. Heal me of this nausea and help me to grow this baby well and perfectly without the nausea. Please. I don’t feel like I can do this anymore, and I am so ashamed of how I feel – heal me of this, too, please. All is possible through you. Keep my husband safe, please. Help me to sleep well and keep the baby safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Yes, my belly aches and I am still nauseous all the time. And I mean that – always. I have about five minutes a day when I might not be nauseous, and that is immediately following my morning puking session. I usually feel better after that, but only occasionally does the nausea actually go away. And, even then, it is only for a few months before it rears back up in full force.
Ugh…
God, thank you for this pregnancy. Please, help me to improve further, please. Keep this baby safe and well and progressing healthily. Keep my husband safe, please. Help us find your grace, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I’m just tired of this. I don’t want to be sick anymore, but I definitely still want to have babies and make our family. I just wish we could be past the nausea and illness already.
God, help me to be my best self and to pursue and fulfill your will. Heal me of this nausea. Make this baby well and safe and growing beautifully. Grant us this family we long to have. Help me to eat well and to sleep well and to be well-hydrated. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
For the most part, my husband has shown frustration and annoyance at my current capabilities and behaviors. He clearly hates the farts and burping – remember that I cannot control these, and they are miserable for me to have in the first place – and has been frustrated that I can’t manage the dishes or laundry or tidying up the house anymore.
Last night, while going to bed, I had a kind of break-down about this. I told him how I was sorry that I wasn’t being a very good wife. He responded in a very unexpected way. He told me that I was being a great wife. I said how I wasn’t getting anything done that I normally am supposed to take care of at home, and hat I couldn’t take care of him or support him at all. He replied that I am growing a baby and that that is wifely. He said that it is the ultimate and most valuable womanly thing to do. The other stuff is great, but it isn’t as important or difficult as this. I asked if it was the ultimate wifely thing to do, and he made a joke that I easily predicted and finished. (Only, he was only halfway joking, and I tend to agree with him…)
Nonetheless, it was really great to hear from him that he’s okay right now. I cannot do almost anything I usually take care of right now. I can barely take care of myself in terms of food and water and showering and sleeping. Barely. But that’s okay right now. And he’s okay. And I’m not being a terrible wife. Yes, our house is a mess. No, I can’t do much about it myself. But that’s okay for now.
If, in the next few weeks, I’m not able to start doing that stuff again, I’ll reach out for help and figure it out. My husband is incredibly busy working and training right now, doing his best to be prepared for us financially and schedule-wise come January. That’s important. I miss him and I miss the help he could give at home. But we can manage a while longer without the help at home. And, like I said, if I don’t start feeling better soon, I’ll find someone or someones who can help us.
It’ll be okay.
God, heal me of the nausea, please, and make this baby well and safe and growing healthily and beautifully. Keep my husband safe, please. Help us to trust you freely and easily. Guide us to be our best selves and to pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Today was a better day, and yet I spent most of it utterly nauseous and slightly miserable. Ugh(!!!!!!!!).
I know it’ll all work out beautifully. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still suck right now.
God, heal me of this nausea, please, and make my baby well and healthy and growing well. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 