I recently have been terrified of learning and using the Japanese language. Why? Because I am terrified of the millions of mistakes I know will ensue the moment I attempt to use anything beyond a small “Ohayou,” or “Konnichiwa,” (which I already happen to mess up regularly).
What is it that has me be afraid of these millions of little mistakes, which I have make thousands of times before with other languages?
Truly, I believe it is because I know what happens when I make mistakes. When I make a mistake, firstly, I am opening myself up, making myself vulnerable to all those around me; secondly, by being open and vulnerable, I am allowing myself a chance to learn more about who I truly am, what I have inside. And, frankly, I’m terrified of what I might find. Not because I think what I might find is bad. Certainly not. But because, as the beautiful words of Marianne Williamson said, my deepest fear is not that I am inadequate, but that I am powerful beyond measure. What if, by opening up, making mistakes, and throwing myself into learning Japanese, I finally discover what I want to do with my life, and I go and do it?
How amazing would that be?
And, thus, how terrifying.