People regularly tell me how amazing they think my life is. Almost every time, I am somewhat incredibly surprised at the statement – to me, my life is normal. There’s always someone who has been to more places, done more things, been to better places, and done better and greater things than I have. If anything, I feel as though I am coming up short to the declarations people make about the awesomeness and greatness of my life, my experiences, and my accomplishments.
However, something that always seems to happen when I receive these sorts of comments/compliments, is that I find a need to live up to them. That is, I feel I need to do more, better, good, to do more exciting things, and to make my life more worth envying. Recently, as I have noticed this fact, I’ve begun to wonder if it is not a wonderful thing that people make such compliments and comments about my life. For, in their doing so, my life becomes more amazing. I certainly want to do all of these things that I end up doing, however something like fear combined with laziness tends to hold me back from seeking them out, until, of course, I have the encouragement of what feels like duty to make these people’s feelings justified.
Though, even still, my life remains the same in terms of how it feels – normal. Sure, I have done this one really cool thing recently, but the overall is still very average, plain, and normal. It even makes me wonder if I can ever measure up to what I view as an amazing life worth envying. No matter what I accomplish, where I go, or what I learn, will things always seem normal to me, and not worth truly being envied by others? Will my life never really seem awesome and amazing to me?
I don’t know, of course… It’s just a question I’m throwing out there, thinking on for myself and my life, wondering where it might lead me next.