This week has been quite busy for me, and I have found myself working on various artsy projects, producing some very neat results (e.g. I’ve made one and a half pair of legwarmers in the past day and a half. And I’ve already worn the one pair today.). However, I have had a strong experience of being unaccomplished at the end of each day.
I sit at work, wondering what I can do with this desire, this need to do something… Anything, it feels like. I just need to do something productive. Or so it feels. However, as I have gone to bed late each night, after working on these various art projects, I have still felt rather unaccomplished. This has happened to me before, so I started wondering what I’ve done in the past to handle such uneasiness of mind. As I’ve thought about it this evening, in the middle of working on my legwarmers and rain stick, I’ve begun to realize that the sense of accomplishment desired is not the one connected to producing physical results – it is more of the emotional sort. That is, I long to be accomplished emotionally.
When I take into account the fact that I have had very little communication with others at work this past week, it only makes all too much sense. I’m around people all day, but I do not interact with them much with words, which leaves me emotionally lonely, and emotionally unaccomplished. And so, what do I do tonight? I speak these words aloud to my phone, instead of typing them, so as to experience a sense of telling a story to another, as though I were speaking to you right now, instead of merely writing, and your reading it at another time.
I suppose this is one thing I shall not miss come August.