You know those days when you climb into bed at night, and you’re somehow filed with a real sense of accomplishment for the day… and it even makes you excited about what you can accomplish tomorrow?

Yeah, they haven’t been too common for me lately, but today is one of them, and it feels amazing. ūüôā

Post-a-day 2018

a day’s checklist?

You know the days when, at home in the evening, you feel like you have nothing left to do? ¬†Tonight feels like that to me. ¬†I’m sitting on the floor in my living room, wondering what else to do. ¬†Certainly, I have at least ten legitimate things I could do right now, – work on my rainstick or flute or swords, paint the painting I’ve had in mind for the past few days, clean something, wash some clothes, dye some more eggs, listen to my audiobook, read my current daytime book, etc. – however, I don’t feel a need to do any of them. ¬†My experience is similar to that of cleaning days as a child. ¬†We would get a list of things to clean and/or organize around the house, and cross off each one as we completed it, leaving us satisfying exhausted at the end of all the cleaning – our list was all marked off, and we had truly accomplished a good handful of beneficial tasks. ¬†We could settle down on the sofa with something to eat and drink, and pass out at will. ¬†Today, for whatever reason, has felt like one of those days. ¬†And I didn’t even clean anything.

But I still have that sense of accomplishment and completion, combined with a happy exhaustion. ¬†I keep glancing around, checking if there’s something wanting me to do it. ¬†And I keep coming up with nothing – I did everything¬†for today,¬†is the thought I keep having and distrusting. ¬†But I think who I was today is what allowed me to have such a sense of¬†success and task-completion for the day. ¬†I wore the clothes, and did the activities, I talked with people, I tried things, I wandered, and, above all, I feared, yet still did it all. ¬†I experienced fear so much today, it was ridiculous, but the best part about it is that I accepted the fear almost every time, and just went onward anyway – I went for what mattered to me, even in the face of fear. ¬†And so, naturally, I am incredibly exhausted, but also incredibly satisfied and content. ¬†I have done my duty for today, and now I can rest. ¬†When I wake, it will be a new day. ¬†Happy Easter, Folks.




Post-a-day 2017


Feelings of accomplishment

This week has been quite busy for me, and I have found myself working on various artsy projects, producing some very neat results (e.g. I’ve made one and a half pair of legwarmers in the past day and a half.  And I’ve already worn the one pair today.).  However, I have had a strong experience of being unaccomplished at the end of each day.

I sit at work, wondering what I can do with this desire, this need to do something‚Ķ Anything, it feels like.  I just need to do something productive.  Or so it feels.  However, as I have gone to bed late each night, after working on these various art projects, I have still felt rather unaccomplished.  This has happened to me before, so I started wondering what I’ve done in the past to handle such uneasiness of mind.  As I’ve thought about it this evening, in the middle of working on my legwarmers and rain stick, I’ve begun to realize that the sense of accomplishment desired is not the one connected to producing physical results ‚Äď it is more of the emotional sort.  That is, I long to be accomplished emotionally.

When I take into account the fact that I have had very little communication with others at work this past week, it only makes all too much sense.  I’m around people all day, but I do not interact with them much with words, which leaves me emotionally lonely, and emotionally unaccomplished.  And so, what do I do tonight?  I speak these words aloud to my phone, instead of typing them, so as to experience a sense of telling a story to another, as though I were speaking to you right now, instead of merely writing, and your reading it at another time.

I suppose this is one thing I shall not miss come August.
Post-a-day 2017