Steps

Saw the chiropractor again today, the both of us. I was able to go face-down in the table. It was the first time in maybe six months. Granted, the middle of the table drops down a bit, so it made some extra room for my belly. Even still, it felt good to be able to lie that way and to have my back adjusted so directly. She did lots of little stuff on both of us, and it was clear we both needed it all. I ended up having lots more energy this afternoon and evening than I have had in a while. I still hurt all over, but it is even more so improved. I look forward to further improvements these next few days. Things always go better following s visit to the chiropractor for me.

Thank you, God, for our chiropractor. Make me and our baby and my husband well and keep us safe, please. Thank you for my family. Heal my body, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Laundry

Well, it seems an extremely sentimental and recently incredibly useful pillow of mine has been ruined. I started to speak up about how to wash it, but was ignored. Instead of insisting, I let it go. Sure enough, it’s all messed up now, with the filling all scrunched up and lumpy, despite my efforts to smooth it out for a while now… I make a massive effort to take care of things that matter to me, so that they do last a long time. Now, this pillow that I have maintained for a very long time, due to one person’s careless treatment of it, is ruined… and no one else will notice or care.

So, that really hurts.

I know it’s just a pillow, but it meant a lot to me.

It also has been necessary for me to be able to sleep in my current state, because it truly was the perfect size and style for under my belly as it reshapes itself. Now, I’ll have to go hassle with throw pillows from the living room to see if any of those might work. They won’t be a good fit, but they might be okay enough to help.

Post-a-day 2025

Stitches

I had never had stitches or sutures before birth. Having them be on one’s vagina for the first experience is definitely a rough one. This really, really sucks. It hurts terribly at this point, and I wish it just would stop aching so dreadfully.

But I am grateful that it doesn’t sting when I urinate anymore. Those were an extremely rough couple of days, having both the ache and pain and the added stinging whenever I went to the bathroom.

I can barely shuffle my feet forward now, though, because of the stitches pains. Sitting still doesn’t work. And I can’t stand for very long either before my vagina really starts to ache, I guess from gravity.

We tried an outing today, somewhat out of necessity. My grandma is moving tomorrow, so we stopped by at the en did my uncle’s 70th birthday celebration in the open restaurant in my grandma’s high rise building. It was likely the last time all of that family would be gathered together, especially given where my grandma is moving (and considering how old she already is and that she isn’t in the best of health).

So, we went. We were about to leave, but my grandma really wanted to be able to hold the baby, which had to be done in a certain chair in her apartment, for safety reasons. (My grandma is 94.) I agreed to a quick trip down to her apartment for this. However, there was a whole debacle of her needed to go get cleaned up in the bathroom but not wanting to, and her being nasty to the caretaker and to my aunt and yadda yadda… finally, my mom got her to go get cleaned up, which took a while in and of itself. Then she finally held the baby for a few minutes and apparently cooed and awed over it the whole time. It was definitely worth it, but I was lying down in the hallway at this point, because I couldn’t stand anymore, there weren’t any chairs in the hallway, and the apartment was far too warm for me to stand being in it.

So, I was beyond done and it was too much for me to be there that long.

If we had actually left after the upstairs portion, I think it would have been an acceptable or amount of time for me to be out. But the added time downstairs was just far too much for me. Also, that there was almost no food left, even though my aunt had supposedly ordered with us included in the count, made it harder for me – I was supposed to be having some good barbecue. Instead, I got a total of two bites of protein, and some pie and banana pudding (which I need to stop trying, because I never like it)… :/

So, yeah, having had food would have also helped immensely for me. Nonetheless, the visit was too long for me to be out and about. Seems like an hour tops is where we are right now. And also in a very comfortable and easy environment without normal people or noise. My family were very calm and chill today, and they were the only ones around, which was the perfect combo for a try at an outing. It just was too long.

Anyway, glad we did it. Glad my grandma got to see and spend time with her little great-granddaughter – she just sat staring at the baby in the stroller the whole time we were upstairs. It was kind of adorable. And I’m glad we got to be part of the last gathering at this awesome high rise where my grandma has lived the past couple years. It has been a great place to visit and spend time together. I will miss it.

Thank you, God, for my family. Thank you, especially for my husband. Thank you for our daughter. Make us well, please, and keep us safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Outdoor time

We have to put the baby in sunlight at least three times a day, ten minutes each time, as naked as possible. That hasn’t happened, but it is improving. I’m not really allowed to do it myself, but also am not really capable still, so it falls to others. Nonetheless, she has been getting some sun, even though it’s less than prescribed.

That being said, my mom pointed out that the baby was starting to get diaper tan lines. So, today, I took off her diaper while I was sitting with her outside. I had intended to hold the diaper under her while holding her. However, when I opened up the diaper, it was already full of urine.

So, I nixed the idea of the diaper. My husband was stressing out trying to get ready to leave, so I didn’t want to ask him for anything else. (Remember that I can’t really get around yet on my own.)

Suffice it to say that, we were sitting there and chilling, and then I had a feeling. I shoved myself forward in the chair enough to have her bum hanging off the chair. Sure enough, another ten seconds or so after that, I heard gurgling explosions and aww baby poo splashing onto the patio below us. She had another spurt a minute later, and then even rocket-launched a bit outward after that before peeing. It was gross and a bit of a disaster, but none got on me. Just a bit on the burp cloth. And all over the patio, of course.

My husband was very annoyed about it. I found it hilarious. The chickens poo all over the patio when they’re out and about – this seemed little different to me. Nonetheless, he got it all cleaned up after I went inside. Hopefully, he will forgive me soon, because it truly was hilarious.

The world got its revenge for him, though. The haaka fell off me later on, and a whole load of milk spilled all over my chair and my feet and the ground, and soaked into my underwear and everything. It was all wasted. I had to go shower. I cried. This, too, happened on the patio.

Post-a-day 2025

Another day

We’ve made it through another day with a baby and with me in very tough recovery. I started having a sharp, stabbing pain on the left side of my vagina this evening… perhaps it is a stitch that has partly dissolved, leaving a pointy bit poking me. Seems likely, given the feeling and the length of time since getting them, ten and a half days. It really sucks.

However, I have mostly enjoyed our chance actually to discuss name ideas this evening. My brain has been clear enough at last for me to be with the baby and have thoughts beyond pain. We still don’t have a name set, but we are actually making progress now. And that feels good.

I’m hoping my husband and I bath will have dreams tonight that give us a clear answer on names for this little baby. We shall see!

God, grant us ease, please, through healing my body. Show us this baby’s names, that we may call her by them and make her fully ours and part of our family. Keep our family safe. Make us well, please. And heal my body fast as only you can do, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Baby toy

This baby is very much like a toy for us at times. Even when we’re just burping her, there are often times that she ends up looking like a little toy that we’re twisting around and playing with. It’s so silly. But it brings such wonderful joy to us all, which makes a positive difference in the middle of all the effort and sleep challenges we have been facing since having the baby with us.

But, seriously, it is very much toy-like at times with this baby… haha 😛

Post-a-day 2025

Improvements and speaking up

It seems things have improved immensely for me since seeing the chiropractor this afternoon. Even the baby is doing better in a lot of ways. I am grateful. I am still in pain and miserable and totally unable to do almost anything on my own – it took almost five minutes and two step stools for me to get into the car today to go to the chiropractor. I also was in disastrous tears when I was left alone for five hours, and the baby was screaming and I couldn’t move well enough to help her fast enough, and I messed up changing the diaper – in bed is not the easiest, especially when one can barely move in the first place – and got poop and pee all over the pillow I’d had to set her on, and pee all over her chest…

It was just a lot. Being physically incapable is so hard when it is for things we know we normally can and could do, no problem.

I did speak up in a sense about our needs. We need food. Someone set up a meal train – that’s apparently a thing, though I hadn’t much ever heard the term – for us. It didn’t end up looking how I would have preferred, but I wasn’t in a place to handle it when it was being made. Nonetheless, it hadn’t been sent to very many people. And even fewer signed up to bring us fresh food. So, I went ahead and posted on my story, which only lasts 24 hours, a tiny close-up of the baby and a request for people to help us with food. So, we shall see how that goes!

Anyway, going to sleep. Hoping to finish clearing out these ducts in the next several hours! Here’s to that! Cheers!

God, heal us all, please, and keep me and the baby and my husband safe and make us well. Also, would you provide some encouraging guidance for my husband and his career, please? I know you know that he really could use some support right now. Thank you for all that you are and give to us, especially your love through my family. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2025

Nipple tears

My breasts did the thing today for the first time (and, of course, continued to do it afterward each time), where they started dripping milk as soon as the baby started crying. It was sudden and silly. But it was also fun to see it happening.

Perhaps what was coolest about it was that I knew I wasn’t all emotional about her crying. Those who had told me about its having happened to them were always very emotional about their babies crying. I have not been and don’t seem to be at all like that. I feel for the child, but I’m not torn apart that she is suffering in this way.

So, it was cool to see how biology really does connect us so well, yet also in a silly way.

Post-a-day 2025