A blank page awaits me, and yet I have nothing to say… Rather, I have so much to say, that I cannot seem to make any of it organize itself out into something sensical. I know that I have much to say, but all that is coming to mind is a sort of doo-too-doo hoo-hoom, boom ba-doom…di-doh-doo… doo-too-doo hoo-hoom, boom ba-doom… some unidentifiable song that my mind seems to be humming passively. It almost feels like an obsessive relaxation technique at play, as though my subconscience were taking steps to keep me as near to sanity as possible, when it sees me edging toward a sort of breakdown. Right now, if I focus on this nothing, this song, I am okay. I am breathing. If I were to focus on one of the many somethings that are rolling around in my head, I might just freak out and go a little nuts (in a different way than my typical demeanor displays my general oddness and weirdities).
So, instead of going insane, I hum-drum in my head, unable to find words or any clear thoughts. I am breathing shallowly somewhat, but I am breathing. And that, in itself, is something worth appreciating.
My life is a blessing, no matter how much I may be terrified of what it may hold next. 🙂