Tomorrow, we have no school. It will be a Tuesday. (To be clear, something is happening, but only with some students, and it doesn’t involve me. So, I don’t have school tomorrow.) An odd time to have a rest from school, but I accept it with gratitude even still.
I had planned to go down to Galveston for a while, but the weather is expected to be semi-bleak and stormy, so I’ve reconsidered that idea. I wish it were going to be a Sunny and gorgeous day or a cool and sprinkly day. Alas, it is not to be. I just want to experience a day of holiday, a time of vacation from the toils and obligations of life, a chance not to do anything in particular and not to have to feel bad for not doing something more important or better or whatever.
That was part of why I wanted just to leave town. This stuff with my grandma is already sad and scary. I don’t want to feel the pressure of, ‘You should be here, helping,’ the way part of my family has kind of been being lately. (Not forcibly so, but in a passive-aggressive way that may also be 99% unconsciously done. Nonetheless, it is a lot of pressure.) If I’m not around, I couldn’t have helped, anyway. Just like when I’m at school.
Anyway, I think I have been over-stressed lately. A true vacation would be really good for me right about now.
God, help my mind and body to be at ease tomorrow, please. Help them to receive the love and the rest they so need. Help me to see clearly my next step in pursuing and fulfilling your will for me in this life. Bring my man and the dog home to me safely and happy and well, please. Heal my grandma and my brothers’ dad, please. Thank you for this life and your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
hannah ananas 