Today did not go really at all as intended, and yet it was wonderful. I felt confident as a person, powerfully beautiful as a woman, and classily stellar as a guide to my young companion. I want to look at today to see what made the difference for each of these things and more to have happened with such ease and success, which is quite different from the everyday to which I am accustomed. My daily has become quite beautiful for me, however, there were elements of today – especially my comfort and confidence as a beautiful woman – that haven’t been successful yet in my day-to-day. Perhaps I will discuss it all on here more later, but, for now, I’ll just mention that the “confidence” part of the beautiful woman idea is not a matter of being a confident woman; rather, it is of being confident as a beautiful, desirable woman. I have experienced the beautiful, desirable throughout my life, but mostly with a pressing experience of embarrassment or ‘please, forgive me, I don’t mean it,’ or even ‘I’m sorry to be looking like this, and I am not trying to entice you.’
Anyway… my head aches incredibly, so I’ll sleep now.