It is very difficult for me to ask people for things, to make requests of others. No matter the situation, no matter the request, it is always somewhat – if not extremely – difficult for me to make the request. Of course, people seem to feel as though I have a comfortable confidence when making these requests, and have admitted to me of having no knowledge of my difficulty in making requests. But that is simply because I make sure I am as ready as possible before making the requests. I am usually the only one present for the inevitable turmoil that precedes a request for me. Occasionally, my mother or best friend is around for part of the paranoia, and so they understand it a bit. However, most people have no idea what it takes for me to make the simplest of requests of them.
All of that being said, perhaps one could understand how devastating it can be for me when I am denied a request, especially one that I might have expected to have been granted easily enough. I am always so willing to receive requests from others, and yet I cannot practice what I wish to receive from others. I suppose I have just had a little too much rejection of sorts in the past, that I lack the confidence now.