I’ve never really been one for people my own age. I’m not sure what it is about me or about them, but I just have never much meshed with people my own age. A recent party was no exception in proving this.
See, I was attending this party, and there were people of various ages. The handful around my own age all got on really well with one another, in a few groups that all would mix and mingle off and on with one another. I was not part of any of them, really, at any point, though various individuals greeted me briefly throughout the evening. Near the end of the party, they all started going on about whether everyone else was going to the afterparty. They weren’t really asking the older folks; just the youngish people, the ones around my own age.
Except, in all of the inviting and discussing, no one ever mentioned the after party to me. And it wasn’t as though it had been announced or anything, and so I had heard all about it, and everyone was invited. No. Someone commented publicly the day before that there would be an afterparty, almost in a joking manner, yes. But, at the actual party, it was a one-on-one or one-on-two topic of discussion. And I was never included in any of those small groups. I only heard the, “Are you going to the afterparty?” questions posed among friends as I passed by them. Multiple times.
And it’s not like I really wanted to go to the afterparty, anyway. They were going to some bar, it sounded like, and in the opposite direction of my home (which was already half an hour away). Neither of those ideas appealed to me. Plus, throw in the factor that I’m not exactly wanted there, and I definitely am less than thrilled at the idea of the afterparty.
The thing is, I wanted to be invited. It hurt ever so slightly that I wasn’t even invited. That I never expected them to invite me made it hurt that much more. I spent most of the party chatting with people quite older than I am (at least a decade or two), and I loved that. It felt almost like I actually belonged in that group. But I still am a tiny bit disappointed that the my-age people seem not to like me. I’m not sure if they dislike me, or if they think I dislike them or something. I am, at the very least, unimportant to them. And, while I don’t really like them all too much, anyway, – I don’t dislike them, let’s be clear – I would invite them along to something, if I were doing something tied to that group of people. I wouldn’t exclude them. I don’t wish the feeling of exclusion on anyone.
Anyway, the bottom line is: I really just don’t get on easily with people my own age most of the time. This party the other night emphasized the fact that this has not changed as I have aged.