Lists

It turns out that lists are extremely helpful, to the point of necessity, for me these days.  I haven’t had all of my supplements this past month (and maybe two weeks before that), and I have only been taking the ones I still have and the ones that seemed like necessities to replace… kept the budget low by not refilling everything this month.  It was a good idea, both in terms of money and in terms of seeing how much of a difference having all of them makes, versus only having some of them.  And I have learned that they make a huge difference when I have all of them.  Yes, I have been put under immense stress the past few weeks, and I have survived the stress quite decently, so far as any average person could see it all.  For myself, though, I have not been doing very well.  Before, I was thriving, even in the face of stress and struggles around me.  Now, I am surviving very averagely…, if that makes sense.

I haven’t been able to get myself to do the workouts.  Actually, I haven’t really been able to get myself to do almost any physical effort… or even to go outside…  I know myself, and I know that I am getting close to a big change in how I’ve been going about the past couple weeks.  I need to even some things out in my mind and body.  It has been so hard to do so without struggle lately, and so I have been taking it easy.  I fully intended to get myself out of this space, and I know I would be doing it in the very near future already, but I am extremely glad that I will be seeing the nutritionist on Monday, and that I will be replenishing all the supplements he tells me to take… I was relieved tonight when my mom mentioned that that was this coming Monday.  I have really been in a slump… and it has been starting to get to me mentally, and I’ve been beginning to be upset that I am struggling.

I’m actually really tired right now, so I’m going to stop there – I can’t seem to figure out what I was wanting to say, and even this sentence has been difficult to finish… that’s how tired I am right now.

Anyway, I made a list for tomorrow.  It’s a list of things I want to do, and I want perhaps to do.  I pinned it to the wall in my stairwell, so I can see it easily when I get up.  It will be a solid reminder for me of things to do other than sit around my room, avoiding the world (except for food in the kitchen).  I am very encouraged when it comes to being able to check things off a list when completed, and so I think this list will be helpful for me tomorrow.  I’m considering a rather permanent move to having a list on my wall, so tomorrow will be a good test for myself and what might work really well for me.  🙂

Goodnight

Post-a-day 2020

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