Author: hannah.ananas

Meeting stress

I now have a meeting request for next Friday at work with one of the bosses. He’s not so much the one in charge of our jobs, but he is still one of the assistant principals.

There are no details for the meeting. There is no reason given for the meeting. It is simply a meeting calendar request sent by his assistant on his behalf.

It makes me feel too uncomfortable, reminding me so strongly of when people get fired on Friday afternoons. This one is in the morning, but it is late morning, and school ends earlier than most regular jobs. So, yeah, I’m stressing about it.

Ugh.

Why did they have to do that?(!!!)

I’m at home because I needed a break. Why do something to stress me out while I’m having that break? Why????????????? Ugh.

(To be clear, I am officially working, but remotely, meaning I assigned students things to do while I am gone, and I am being compensated for having done that. The words the boss used were ‘take next week,’ suggesting that I don’t even need to be checking my e-mail for student needs. But I’m doing it nonetheless, just to ease my own mind about it all. I’m not answering any of their dumb e-mails, but I am responding to actual needs. I even adjusted the assignment due dates, after a student explained how they seemed like a bit too much and too close together. I felt it was a fair request she made to have them adjusted on the due dates – not the work, just when it was due – and so I shifted all of them to be easier on the kids, while still being helpful.)

Anyway, I can’t change it for now, so I’ll let it be. I won’t reply to the meeting request until I’m back at school, anyway, and I can figure out what I want or need to do at that point. Until then, I’ll let my boss know tomorrow that I have a follow-up appointment and test I have to have done, and that I want to have them completed before returning. I hadn’t said this yet last week, though I was purty darn sure it was going to go that way already. Nonetheless, I need to let him know tomorrow about that and that I plan to return to classes in person on Wednesday.

That being said, I want and need to go see Jesus tomorrow at Church, so I’ll do that.

Thank you, God, for that chance. Keep me safe and well, please, and guide me to do your will with grace and joy, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Much not to do

This week, I am home from work.

So, I want to be home. There are a few things I want to do. I might even get a massage. Otherwise, my intention for this week is not to do. I am here to release and recover. As part of that, I have a few supporting tasks. Beyond those, though, I’m golden for taking it easy and rolling with whatever feels right in the moment for the next several days.

Thank you, God. Thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Struggles

I genuinely work each day to be better than who I was the day before. I work to be more the person God calls me to be in this life, to be my best self, constantly in life, and I am always looking to see how newly I can improve myself and my ways of living. And I aim to encourage and empower others to do the same for themselves, both indirectly and, sometimes, directly, openly.

And it is really hard when the people around me pointedly don’t do this, when those close to me not only resist it, but actively grow angry and defensive if I even comment on or question a behavior of theirs… including if it is something that is quite strongly affecting me (let alone others) in a negative way.

Wanting to be my best self, and actively working to be that, is so much a part of who I am, it is hard even to be around those who, for lack of a better way of putting it, seem angry at me for both wanting this and pursuing this. It makes it feel like they don’t want me around at all, nor do they want anything to do with me. That isn’t to say that that is the case – that’s just how it feels. Which still sucks.

Post-a-day 2024

Some fun

We went to the Priests versus Seminarians basketball game tonight. It was at Rice University, in their basketball gymnasium, and the place was pretty close to sold out. This was the seventh year of the game’s history, and I was beyond excited to be there for it this time. Ever since I first heard about it, I wanted to go. This year, I finally made it happen.

Essentially, as I understand it, it is both a fundraiser for and awareness-raiser for St. Mary’s Seminary in Houston. It let’s people know about the seminary, while also raising funds for it in a very fun way. The current seminarians form a basketball team to play a single game against local priests, those who have already gone through seminary, be it at St. Mary’s or elsewhere. The first two years, the priests won. The next four years, the seminarians won. Tonight, the priests won. And not by only a few points.

The final score – and yes, that was a big lead, given how they started with a 7:1 follow at the end of the first quarter.

No, they were nothing like the March Madness games my husband had me watching just recently. Not even close. These are priests and future priests, not upper teenagers trying to get into the NBA. We were not here for mad skills, but for the fun of seeing seemingly very serious folks do something very fun and, well, normal. The first quarter ended with a combined score of eight points. These were not exactly future pros here – they definitely discerned rightly in their vocations (and in a career that makes a massive difference in a good way in society, so a big thank you to all of these guys for that!).

Seeing them play at all was already a treat. When they had really warmed up and the pressure was on in the second half, though, it was actually a very entertaining game as a game. It was just extra-impressive at that point, given that some of them, as my husband pointed out, did rather look as though they may never have played basketball [or any other sport, for that matter] a day in their lives. At least, not in their adult lives. Again, sports aren’t exactly their focus in the post-seminary life.

Nonetheless, it ended up being very fast-paced and exciting by the last quarter. At every point throughout the game, the whole place went wild, anyway. When points were happening so quickly near the end, it was like a constant up and down of screams and cheers. Plus, everyone cheered for everyone. Sure, folks cheered especially for their local priests or old fellow parishioner, but they all still cheered for every point. And like it was the greatest basket ever made. It was hilarious, really, and totally wonderful. And they actually played a good and athletically entertaining game. It was not hilarious because they were being funny. It was simply hilarious that everyone was on the same team, while officially having two separate teams. Plus, Inhave never before tonight seen a basketball game where no one gets angry… where everyone plays with authenticity… It was… awesome.

At the end, they all did a group picture together and were hugging and having a great time with each other. They really were and are all on the same team.

Also, being Catholic, the invocation at the start was the coolest thing I may have every experienced with prayer. The priest says, ‘Let us pray,’ and the entire population did the sign of the cross in synch, and most of them said a hearty “Amen” to go with it. It was like choreography for the masses. Very, cool and slightly spooky in the best way.

Thank you, God, for this blessing tonight. I am so grateful to have been present for such a wonderful event. Help it to continue to grow vocations in our local society, and help me to be a part of that. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Getting… forward

I don’t exactly feel the relief of not having to go to school tomorrow (or the following week+) yet. I am grateful, but it doesn’t feel like anything new yet. Currently, I can still feel the physical stress I’ve been carrying lately as a standard any night before I have school the following morning.

Hopefully, I will start to find ease as time progresses and I work on the things I’ve set forth for myself. I want to go through the wedding photos, pick the ones I want, and post them online (and, I guess, send the full quality versions to my husband, too 😛 ). I want to continue tidying and sorting out the house, with specific areas on which I am already working and will continue working this next week. And I want to get the thank-you letters done for our wedding. Sure, they’re months late. They’ll be a wonderful surprise for everyone at this point, so unexpected as they’ll be(!!).

Also, I’d like to find out who was on my wedding zoom call… that’s a separate task altogether that I am simply sharing right now as something I realize that I’d like to know… hmm… My best friend, whom is here right now, staying with us, said she thought there were around ten people on the call, though without videos. I’m over here wondering now who they all were! I expected her and my fifth cousin in Germany, possibly a friend who had to cancel at the last minute due to surgery recovery issues for her son. But ten-ish people??? That was three. Off my seven here…

I want to know…

Haha

Goodnight!

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I am letting some kids make up work during the morning break – while I have breakfast at school – and then meeting with my other class that I didn’t see in the schedule today. I likely will have lunch after that, possibly work out, then go home and not come back for a week and a half.

And that will be very good for me.

I still have to sort out and post all of their assignments for while I’m not there, but I will have an hour to do that before I have class and after the make-ups. So, that should be enough time to get it all handled. I also have the time in class, when they’ll be taking their test. I’d forgotten that that is also usable time for me. Hmm. Thanks for that reminder(!).

Anyway, I have work to do in the morning for school, and then I will be able to come home and do the work I need to do here, both for my home and for myself, all for our healing and stepping forward into the life we want to be leading going forward.

I am still stressed, but I am also somewhat excited.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity for healing and accomplishments. Help me to do them both effectively this next week and a half, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Fear

Do at least one thing every day that scares you.

Every since I heard that line, I have made a clear effort to follow it. I even have reminders that pop up on my phone every few days, just to make sure I haven’t forgotten, and that I’m still doing it. The reminders often end up being the encouragement I need to do just that for something that has been worrying – scaring – me in life.

Yesterday, I did something that very much scared me. I made a request at school. Tonight, I got the official reply to that request. It was approved fully, and then some.

I think I have really needed this. I am so grateful it has been approved. And it was also beneficial for me to speak up for myself and what I need.

I still have some work to finalize for the test this week for kids, then I need to prep everything for their next several classes after the test. I will get that done tomorrow. Then, after I meet with each class, I will be having a bit of a rest, time to heal… while still getting paid, as I will prepare all the lessons for self-study for the kids

Thank you, God, for this granting. Thank you for the love shown in this, especially considering how it has been so absent elsewhere at work this year. Thank you for giving me the strength to ask. Thank you for your love, especially on the middle of all the suck. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Requests

I made a request today. The department head seemed to think it was a no-brained for us to do it, but said directly that it isn’t up to him, so he’ll have to ask higher up.

God, help me to receive a positive response for this request, please. Help me to heal healthily, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024