I’ve got to say: There’s something really fun about having a crush.
Perhaps it’s the excitement and anticipation of wondering what, if anything, might happen. Will he end up confessing his undying love for me? Will he declare that I am the best person he has ever known, and that he cannot imagine life without me? Will he become my best guy friend for now, or even for the rest of my life? (Actually had this happen.) Will he end up being psycho? (Again, happened.) Will he even notice I exist? (Yep.) Will he completely ignore me, and go date some other, more sexy girl? (Happened.) Will he be the best guy I’ve ever known, yet never have a bit of interest in me? (Yup.) Is he actually gay? (This one, too.) Will he become a priest instead of dating me? (Really am speaking from experience, here. :P)
But then, perhaps part of it is also imagining life, should something actually come of the crush. Will we become this amazing couple, traveling the world together with a dog and a cat and a few kiddos? Will people wish they were we, or wish they had what we have? Will I get to announce our engagement to all of our family and friends? Will he turn out to be the man who breaks my heart? Will we spend weeks at a time visiting beautiful beaches together, living a picture perfect vacation life each time? Will I be the woman who breaks his heart? Will we do something fabulous in a big city together, and be super modern and hip with our furnishings and modern art? Will he turn out to be absolutely vain or utterly boring? Will we end up on a ranch together, raising kids who ride horses, and swinging into the nearby lake on sunny days? Will we be dancing, singing superstars (at least among all of our friends)? Will he end up being super jealous, that we can’t possibly stay together, because I couldn’t possibly give up my friends? Will I? Will we move into an old, renovated fire station, and be art and music hipsters who help save the world each day? The ideas go on and on, to any degree of crazy my imagination feels like going that particular day.
Perhaps it’s nature, perhaps it’s nurture, and perhaps it’s a bit of both, but I have these sorts of thoughts every time I have a crush. Even for the times where I have no intention, desire, or even opportunity for anything to come of the crush, these sorts of thoughts still rush to mind. It’s as though I have a sort of mobile-esque photo montage floating around my head, filled with snapshots from all of our potential life paths together.
For the most part, I enjoy the ideas without actually considering them to be a likely forecast of the future. Sure, they could happen. However, I find them all quite unlikely.(Though, I do admit that very upsetting scenarios also come to mind at times, and so I am always glad to know that those particular futures are very unlikely.) I think I just enjoy imagining how crazy and awesome a story it would be to tell everyone if such-and-such happened between whomever and me. ‘Kids, this is how Daddy and I met. Can you believe it?’ 😛
On a sort of tangent, this all kind of reminds me of how people say that women have had their weddings planned since they were little girls. I think we just have fun using our imaginations, and a wedding is just one particular outlet for them.
I’ve often thought about my own wedding, however I can never decide on any actual details. As soon as I think I want a certain style of white dress, I suddenly think I want a totally different style of green velveteen, or perhaps floral ochre… I think I just don’t really care about the results, because it isn’t actually something real happening – for the time being, it’s just a brain exercise… I love imagining various wedding scenarios for myself, of course. However, that doesn’t mean that I’m actually planning my own wedding. You know? Anyway… just some thoughts.
Crushes are fun, in part for their potential, and in great part for their role in the imagination-creativity game. I mean, what if he actually asks me out, and then confesses his love for me while we’re ice skating in the park, followed by our having hot cocoa, going horseback riding, and then dancing together all night to live music? It could totally happen. ; )