career planning like child’s play

As I pondered about today at work, with no actual work to do, but tons of pastimes to pursue at my desk, I somehow came to the idea of thinking like a child.  I think I was inspired from the fact that a girl in this one movie was about to become a full-fledged lawyer, and I found myself somewhat envious.  It got me thinking about how, as a child, I never really wanted to be anything specific when I grew up.  Sure I said singer/actor, but that was kind of a ‘just ’cause’ answer, not an impassioned one – my heart was certainly not in it.  It just sounded fun to be famous and super talented, you know?

So, as I was thinking about how kids have these people they want to be when they grow up, and how ridiculous those things sometimes sound, and then how boring of jobs those kids typically eventually end up getting when they are adults, I got into the crazy-ish idea of, “Well, if I were a kid now, what would I want to be when I grow up?”  And that’s when the fun started.

It didn’t take very long for me to come to my conclusion.  Fully-passioned and excited, I felt a need to share the news with the world.  I didn’t think much beyond that – sharing it – other than how fun it sounded, and how silly it would be should I actually somehow become such an individual.  Why?  Well, I said that I want to be a cello-playing ballerina artist who does astronomy and physics stuff for fun.

So, I posted about it on the beautiful world of Facebook.  After seeing a few of the comments that friends made, however, I began actually thinking about such a career path for myself.  Part of the whole reason I started thinking about it, was because I thought it crazy how kids, who can do next-to-nothing about it, are so passionate about what they want to do for their jobs, and yet adults, who have all the ability to do something about their current jobs, tend to be so dispassionate about their careers.  So, here I am, taking on a child’s passion in terms of career direction/choice (really, choosing freely (as a child chooses) what I would do, if I could do anything I wanted), and I suddenly realized that I am one of those adults who is in a position actually to do something about my career.

Wow.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized how easy it could be for me.  Yes, it is loads and loads of hard work.  I know.  But I’m talking about practicality of the situation.  I’ve recently re-begun ballet lessons, I’m picking up my own art supplies next week in order to continue in my student-taught art lessons I’ve been receiving, and I’m working at a school with lots of musical connections (likely with links to a student of some age who could start teaching me to play the cello).  And this is all just in my small town in Japan.  When I move back to my big city in the US this Summer/Fall, I’ll have innumerable resources at my fingertips.  And, without even realizing this earlier today, I have made specific progress towards this goal for the Fall: I now recall that I have already spoken to a sort of art expert to help me find some appropriate art classes for me to take this coming Fall.

Life is looking beautiful on the career path front.  I in almost no way have a ballerina’s body.  And that’s okay.  I don’t want to be on the main stage.  I know that.  But I want to be dancing ballet.  🙂  (I’m so excited about this, I can’t stop smiling and having a little delighted shudder race through me every so often as I think about it all.)

My cousin commented about my career goals being similar to the career of Hedy Lamar.  I had to look her up, though I recognized the name.  As I was on the phone with my mom, I asked her what she knew about Hedy.  Just that she was a black and white actress, very gorgeous 30s look.  When I found her Wikipedia page, I read it aloud to my mother, and we both were amazed – she was fabulous, and my cousin was exactly right in comparing my career goals to the career of Hedy Lamar!  Check her out.  She was awesome.  She and the guy from Queen (Brian May) who has a PhD in Astrophysics.  They rock.

So, yeah… that’s today’s ponderings that I cared to share here.  🙂  Peace out, yo.

 

Post-a-day 2017

 

Dreams that inspire tears

This morning, I woke up in such comfort as I had not known in months.  As I began to come to, though, confusion roused within me.  When I finally discovered where and when and what I was, I pitifully crunched myself under the blankets, smashing my face into the mattress, and resisting the intense, despairing urge to cry.

Why all of this, just from waking today?  My dreams.  I cannot say how many times this has happened, but I do know that it is incredibly rare for me – when I awoke this morning, I initially believed that what had just been my dreams were, in fact, memories from actual events.  They, of course, were only dreams.

On this occasion of dreaming, I was wandering around a warm, beautiful place (beautiful in the sense of the space, as opposed to scenery) with a friend of mine.  His parents were in and out of the events, too.  At one point, we were all participating in a fun effort to help a group play fabulous music (It was like a modern-day version of pumping the organ, but for the musical ensemble as one large unit in need of this pumping.).  We all sighed happily from the effort when the music was finished, and walked separate ways from the band’s setup to relax after the sort of workout.  My friend handed me a local coin, mentioning the nickname people have for it, and thus his reason for giving it to me.  We both laughed as he passed it to me with a slight flourish-esque bow (think old-timey British servants presenting something to the master), and then he gave me a kiss on my forehead, rather casually.

I smiled, and even gave a small chuckle at the gesture, both via the sweet joke about the coin and comparing it to me and the loving kiss.  We each briefly said something else, immediately after which, he casually lifted my chin and gave me a full, brief, and, again, casual kiss, this time on the lips.  I was surprised, though not opposed, and even had willingly accepted/participated in the act.  We both turned to resume whatever it was we were doing before these two kisses, but glanced back at one another as his eyes went wide and he made a face of “Uh-oh.”

  1. He’s not one for public displays of affection.  2.  His parents were nearby.

Naturally, his mother, though across the room, had noticed, as we could tell by her loud and calmly delighted, “Aaaaaaaaah, whaaaat is thaat, exactly, hmmm?”  And his dad expressed a chuckled agreement to the question.

I replied quickly and with honesty and ease, “Oh, we don’t even know, really.  He can’t seem to make up his mind about it, and I’m too lazy to do anything about it.”

And we were all, in a semi-silly way, happy and together and lovingly content.  My friend slipped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into a big sideways hug as I said the words to his mother, and everyone had a nice laugh or chuckle of true and easy contentment.

 

And that was it, really.

And it was all so believable, because of the experience of being there.  It was real joy and caring for one another (all of us) and ease – life was easy with all of us together, where we were, just like it is when I am with family and my closest friend (a different friend from this one).  So, when I awoke this morning, I was going from perfection (you know, the goofy ‘life is perfectly imperfect’ kind of perfection) and the bliss that followed after such an experience, to a cold (literally) realization that my circumstances are actually the opposite from how it felt they were…

How’s that for a start to a Friday, huh?  Though, I do recall how our dreams help us handle all sorts of psychological struggles, it kind of makes me even sadder.  How bad off am I right now that my sub-conscience decided I needed that kind of and that specific dream?  Kind of made me hope for it to have been an accident that I’d had such a dream, as opposed to intentional in any way.

But, after the rough day that has been today, I’d be quite happy to continue these dreams tonight.  Even though they have a near zero percent chance of coming true, I’ll be able at least to go back to sleep in the morning, free and at ease, because it will be Saturday, and one with no specific daytime plans but to sleep in.  And everything feels better when you get to sleep in.  🙂

 

Post-a-day 2017