Nothing quite like a semi-scary show to freak me out just before bedtime… What, am I five or something here???
Nothing quite like a semi-scary show to freak me out just before bedtime… What, am I five or something here???
My siblings thought it was an acceptable idea to have me watch the original ”Scream” film when it came out. I was five. My mom was furious. But I survived. I even have a sort of affinity for the film, despite the many nightmares it produced throughout my childhood. 😂
Then, “I know what you did last summer” was another they shared with me, only a year later… yikes. Again, though, I survived.
The sequel was freaky but fun for me, because it was possibly the first sequel to release during my lifetime for something that I knew.
At some point, before age nine, they showed me “Jaws”. “Jaws” is actually one of my favorite films – I even read the book recently! – despite the nightmares… and general fear of the ocean… that still exists today… 😂
Frankly, seeing “The Sixth Sense” at my mom’s strong recommendation when I was eight was significantly more traumatizing than any of the others, and I, to this day, have bad dreams and spooky nights because of it…, but that’s for different reasons. “Scream” isn’t very practical or realistic for everyday life.
“Deep Blue Sea” and “Lake Placid”, at age eight, were probably the films that put me over the edge in terms of being comfortable swimming alone in any body of water… I just couldn’t do it – even in the pool at my brothers’ dad’s house, I was somehow convinced that, after I had started to swim away from the wall, someone had opened up a secret panel behind me, and released a shark into the water…., and so I would rush to the other side and wrench myself out of the water as fast as possible, breathing hard… always to find no shark, of course… fortunately, of course…
One of my brothers – one not involved in having me watch the scary movies – had mentioned to me, after his having seen “The Ring” in theatres, that the film was terribly funny due to the fakeness of so much of it… he was the only one laughing during the film, but he was laughing hard at times, he said.
The thought of a scary film’s being funny was new to me, and I considered that I might want to see this film…, but not badly enough to seek it out – I had already written away scary films from my life by that point.
One night, however, years later, I was drawn by a film that came on television, not knowing what film it was. I had an odd feeling that it was “The Ring”, however, and I turned out to be correct in that judgment. Keeping my brother’s idea of humor in mind, I stuck with the film. Frankly, I also found the film quite stupid in many ways, as my brother had suggested and described years beforehand. I was still haunted in dreams by certain aspects of the film, but I recovered much more easily than with any other scary film I had ever seen, and I attributed it to the mentality of laughing at the graphics and illogic of certain visual scenarios within the film – thereby distancing myself from the story itself.
I still stay firmly away from scary films, though, and horror films are a solid no for me, with no question of even discussing them and their subject matter…
I’m almost certain that almost all of my nighttime and dark-alley fears have come from films…, so, perhaps life could have been a lot easier not having the scary films in it…, but perhaps it is just those fears that have me be so prepared for just about anything in life…?
Anyway, the point is that I very much dislike and avoid scary movies (now that I have say and am not a little kid), but I was exposed to several as a young child, yet I survived.
So, if you are watching a film, and discover in the middle that it might be a bit too gory or freaky for a child in the room, don’t worry too much… you’ll probably traumatize them much more with other things in life than with that movie… I don’t encourage the scary films – not at all – but I recommend not panicking too badly, if they end up seeing something you think might be a bit much for them… they’ll survive. 😂
I had a dream last night in which I attended an odd sort of reunion for my elementary school.
There were really only about ten people in attendance, and it took place at my elementary school.
However, I haven’t actually been inside my elementary school since it was torn down and rebuilt years and years ago, so, I was a little lost in finding the right room at the reunion… I even came across a room for another reunion first and said hi to a kid I knew from middle school and who didn’t go to my elementary school, but that didn’t stop my brain’s having him be attending his own reunion in that particular classroom at my elementary school…
My mom had dropped me off, and given me a kiss and wished me a good time, and I was slightly nervous but also oddly comfortable – I haven’t seen these people in almost fifteen years, but that didn’t seem to matter (or, perhaps, it helped)…
In the actual hangout, we were all sitting at some tables at one point, talking as a group, when the guy next to me makes an executive decision, and full-on kisses the guy next to him on the mouth.
Immediately following, he declares that ‘well, now he knows’ what that’s like, at which point I notice distinctly who the two of them are: tall Kevin W. kissed little Ryan S.
(Mind you, this is how they were as kids, and so my brain decided to mature them while maintaining the relative heights.)
And no one had a problem with it.
One guy made a comment jokingly, kind of in remembrance of something stupid he would have said back in the day, but, now that none of us cares about homosexuality, he wouldn’t have even thought of being uncomfortable or if making a stupid comment… actually, that was why Kevin kissed Ryan – because we were talking about how we and thins had changed and that homosexuality wasn’t something anyone teased about or was uncomfortable about… if a guy kissed a guy, gay or not, we wouldn’t care…
And so then Kevin kissed Ryan, even though neither of them is it was gay, and our point was proven that none of us minded, and Kevin and Ryan got to see what kissing one another was like.
And then it all shifted and there was somehow a pool and people and we were participating in a swimming party for our reunion gathering… my mom dropped something off to me at some point – perhaps it was a swimsuit…. – and I’m not remembering much else in enough detail to describe now, so I’ll leave it at that.
It was a fun gathering and idea, and an even more fun dream – I kind of wish we could do a real one (and I wouldn’t mind if Kevin decided to kiss Ryan at this one, too!)… it would be nice to see everyone again and to see how our lives led us forward… I think I would like that very much. 🙂
At this one school where I worked, it wasn’t that I felt unappreciated, because I didn’t…, but more that I felt unnoticed…, which, in a way, feels kind of way worse.
I remember finding myself fantasizing about receiving this particular award at the end of the school year – it was an award given to a teacher whom the senior class had elected as invaluable for their own educations… aka an extra-special teacher.
Since the students elected it, I had a chance of actually winning the award, though I had so few of the seniors, it wouldn’t happen, anyway.
Nonetheless, as I sat amongst the miniature version of the band during the senior awards ceremony, at which this teacher award also was awarded, I would ‘read aloud’ in my head the write-up they would give about me, before officially revealing my name… mentioning how I was involved in many areas of the school: dance PE class, teaching foreign language, helping with theatre on many levels, assistant coaching and co-founding the women’s lacrosse program, helping and participating in band events, actually playing trumpet in the band (including at this ceremony), founding of an acts of kindness group on campus, and much more in the unique realm of student interaction… and the kids would choose me for the award, because they acknowledged my utter awesome-ness and outstanding-ness as not only a person but a person who encourages and empowers them to be the best people they can be… I think no student who has known me would deny that fact.
My students know that I love them and that I want all the best for them, including if that means they need to suffer a bit to get themselves straightened out… they know and understand this all just from being with me in class or the various activities.
I take no nonsense, which they know, too, but my love and concern for them are unwavering and undeniable, and they know it.
I miss that.
And that is why I allowed myself to fantasize about receiving the award – if enough kids had known me, I could have won the award… if the administration ever would have allowed my winning it, of course. 😛
P.S. Tomorrow holds something new for me, in a sense…, if you feel up to it, I would appreciate your sending good intentions and/or prayers my way. 😉
(I imagine I have shared this here already, but it is on my mind yet again, and so I will share it again. 😛 )
Do you remember what it was like to make new friends as a little kid? Perhaps it was different by generation, but, in my generation, it was really simple:
“You wanna be friends?!”
And that was that – you’ve got a new friend, possibly even a best friend. Nowadays, as an adult, I feel as though people think I’m totally nuts and unfortunately childish whenever I present a similar conversation… I’m starting to realize that I don’t really care. Sure, I want the new friend, but perhaps we aren’t meant to be friends if the person is put off by my question of wanting to be friends. You know what I mean? Because asking just like little kids ask is natural to me; it’s part of being true to myself. I’m not being purposely childish and avoiding being an adult when I ask – I’m genuinely excited at the prospect, and hoping that the person will be just as excited as I am at having a new friend.
I also mean it, too, about being actual friends. Not just Facebook friends or any of that nonsense – actual friends who talk with one another and do things together and enjoy and explore life together; friends who help one another become the best version of themselves. A friend is someone who helps you be the best person you can be. A priest actually said that once to a group of us, and I’ve always remembered it. And that‘s the kind of friend I’m always looking for, asking for, and also wanting to be for others. My best friend and I are like that with one another, and it’s wonderful. However, we definitely don’t live near one another (try 4,811 miles apart, approximately), so it’s nice to have other people around, closer, who can be friends, too. 🙂
I’m not so sure why people seem so uninterested in that kind of relationship with me, though. Perhaps I scare them… I am a bit much to take in under certain circumstances, especially when it comes to my saying openly things that people often are not straight about. (Not like I’m vulgar and offensive, because I really don’t promote cursing or vulgarity at all… but I answer honestly when someone asks how I’m doing, or what I think of the food, or even how an outfit looks on someone… it just isn’t worth it to me to lie. I don’t want my friend to go out looking horrendous in some dress making her look fat and lumpy, do I? [No, I do not.] And I don’t have to be mean about saying it, but I do have to tell the truth. At least, I strive always to tell the truth, as well as to be appropriate with how I express it.) I don’t know… I guess the right people will show up in the right places at the right times. Maybe they’ll even ask me if I want to be friends with them, instead of the other way around.
Here’s to finding spectacular friends, y’all. 😀
I was just thinking about when my coworker and I took a group of kids to England and France a few summers ago, and things associated with that. At the end of the trip, I stayed in France to go visit my old stomping grounds down south, and so I left the group to go home on a flight with my coworker (per our own full agreement and arrangement ahead of time). I waited too long to decide to do that, so I had to pay $350 for the flight change (Ugh). We also each had to pay $937.50 for the trip in the first place (Meh). Therefore, I had to pay a total of $1287.50 for a 10-day trip that included all accommodations, food, tours, and transport, and another ten days on location at my own expense, which is really not bad at all. At all.
However – and this is a BIG however – as part of our arranging and hosting this trip in the first place, the tour company gave us each a training trip.
Mine, as I selected it, was a long weekend trip, with food, housing, tours, and transportation included, to downtown Rome, Italy. Therefore, my just-under 1300 dollars actually got me two separate trips to Europe, with almost all expenses paid for most of the time on the trips.
I really do come up with the craziest stuff to have happen in my life. And – what is possibly the best part of this all – I don’t even seem to notice how absurd it all is, until I find myself ruminating on this and thats one afternoon, years later, and it suddenly hits me that, say, taking a free trip to Europe is not a normal thing in life. I take this moment to nod my head to my cousin for the question she exasperatedly declared one evening at my apartment a few years ago: “Hannah, do you even know what real life is like?”
Indeed, fair cousin, it seems I do not know that most of the time – reality bites, so I live somewhere else, and I love it. 🙂
Walking, walking, I hear the swish-chh, swish-chh of my steps through the ankle-high grass, plants, and flowers. Taller grass lines my path, and flowers surround me in any direction, waving delicately in the wind, reminding me ever so slightly of bobble heads and those dashboard dancing creatures. The wind makes a muffled howl over my ears as it whoos around and past me, giving me the perfect balance of cool air and hot sunlight. My hair whispies whisp around my face like the pitter-patter of raindrops on my face during yesterday’s sprinkles. Goats bleh at nothing in particular ahead of me, frolicking in the grass and climbing in the trees, occasionally falling out like it’s no big deal. I see one of the new babies following suit, monkey see, monkey do… for goats… I want to bottle this up (and take it everywhere with me, so I can pull it out whenever I am sad), runs through my head. But I know that it would be odd, bottling something that, in itself, expresses freedom, openness, and ease. You Can’t bottle this – that’s the point. That’s why it is so special. That’s why I am here right now. Because God and the world knew it was perfect for me right now. And it is perfection.
Grace, followed by gratitude and love. That is my today.
To finish up the Easter, I share what my mom shared with me this morning.
‘Kay, go for your Easter Egg Hunt. There’s one egg. It’s hidden already.’
‘…Wha..?’ I frown at her.
She wiggles like a puppy that can’t sit still, and I know for sure that something is up, and that she’s about to break.
She laughs, and I know I’m getting it, whatever it is, now. ‘That’s what R- said. Because it’s April Fools, tell the kids, ‘Okay, kids. Go look for your Easter Eggs now!’ but don’t actually have any hidden.’
‘That’s terrible,’ I say as I join her laughter, shaking my head.
Happy Easter, and Happy April First!
P.S. Did you see John Legend and that gloriously surprising cast tonight? More importantly, did you HEAR them?! Check it out. It was fab. Jesus Christ Superstar Live 🙂
One of my favorite memories from my childhood is the time my brother, sister, and I bonded over shaving legs in the living room. You see, our dad’s house used to be a duplex, and so the upstairs and downstairs had the same floorpan, giving the girls – the upstairs lots – our very own living room. It was normal circumstances for us girls and maybe a girlfriend of one of theirs to hang out on lazy afternoons and evenings there. Occasionally, our bother would join us. On one particular night, my eldest sister had decided to allow me to shave her legs for her, while we watched some television show. I was around eight or ten years old.
In my panic of doing it, worried that I would slice open her leg or something, my brother joined in on the adventure, to show that it was definitely doable by me, since he had never shaved legs, but he was able to do it safely. And so, he shaved her left leg, and I shaved her right, while she lay on the rug in the living room. Such beautiful sibling bonding time. 😛
I found one of the boxes that contained my childhood writing yesterday. I mostly did poetry, but this one had some of my vocabulary paragraphs and my topic-writes and free-writes. Therefore, it’s about to get middle-school-original up in here, and very soon. ;D