Life is beautiful, and I am grateful to have a role in it. I worry at times that I am not using my gifts and talents to the fullest to benefit the world, and that I might reach the end of my life and feel I have not accomplished a satisfactory amount, given enough, created enough. Though, I suppose quality is greatly important in the matter. Nonetheless, is my current work in life (not necessarily my paid work, but my works, things I do in my life) of the quality that I want it to be? Am I being the quality person I want to be? Right now, I’m not sure. It is something I have not really considered, I think.
I suppose I will consider it now…
I have been worrying lately about my future. Every time I aim to figure out how to steer my career for the long term, I end up somewhat sad and upset, and totally uninspired. Thinking about this this weekend, I had the sudden obvious realization that I don’t have to know my long term – I don’t have to know what’s next after what’s next. Just one what’s next is good enough. It’s better than good enough – it’s actually great. Ideal, possibly. Yes, I have all sorts of ideas for my future, but they don’t need to be solid, set in stone now and forever. Every year, my dad is ‘about to retire’, and that’s been for the past decade, I believe. And yet, he’s still chugging along happily (mostly happy with it, anyway) at his job. And he’s one of the most plan-y people I know when it comes to work, finances, and career choices.
So, if I go for this now, I can be looking for what’s next while doing it. I certainly know that I end up becoming a new, different person after every phase of this or that, so how could I possibly know now what the future, new I will want most? Though I have my amazing moments, I’m not God, so I don’t know all.
I guess it is kind of just a slightly altered perspective of “What About Bob”’s baby steps. Worry about this room… then, when I’m in the hall, think about that hall…, and so on and so forth.
Yeah, I’m down with that.
Also, Brad Paisley was interviewed by Jeff Foxworthy on the radio this evening, and it was delightful in an unexpected way. Find the recording, if you can. They now plan to write a song together, as a result of the interview. I’m looking forward to it. 🙂
I have felt recently as though I am at one of the most quizzical times in life. The feelings of being young and twenty-something are being contradicted by simple counting and addition, and the unofficial job status of ‘semi-wanderer’ seems more and more out of place. To add to it all, I didn’t even know the year when I was putting the date on a paper I was signing this morning.
Every other day, I have new feelings and ideas about the direction I want to pursue now and next in my life. Today, I consider one thing. Tomorrow, I am excited and content in pursuing that same thing. The day after tomorrow, that idea seems somewhat bleak. And then, the day after that, a new idea arises, and the cycle repeats itself.
For now, I think I need to stick with today and tomorrow, and what I will do with myself then. I will put forth my own good effort, and do well and good in the world around me. For some reason, that always had a wonderful result for everyone around me, including myself. As for the other things, I think they will slide into place as I take each of those daily steps that seem right for today and tomorrow. And, day by day, my life will be filled with such love and joy, shared with the world, as I never could have imagined from where I am right now. Baby steps and hope, as I learned from “What about Bob?” and “The Shawshank Redemption” (I plan to read the short story by Stephen King soon enough.).
I am unnerved, and I don’t know what else to share. I feel false even considering any other topic, as this is at the forefront of my mind. This storm is scary. Period. The winds were so weak, it hardly felt like a hurricane as it flew above us, spinning along at its loping pace. And the rain has reached such an amount that I might just forever be afraid of rain from here on out. Water is powerful. It is truly powerful. Oh, how I would love to be the kid with the water ring from Captain Planet right now… or that guy from Twilight…