Tag: moving

The stress…

It is finished.

I am officially out of my old apartment (now it is old, I suppose). As of around ten-ish this morning, I am free of it and obligations relating to that little town.  Sure, I’ll be back up there to visit next week, and to help out with a few things later this week, but that is all voluntary.  My obligations are complete.

And it feels amazing, I’m sure.  It’s just that, as per my usual case, I am painfully ill now.

Whenever I have a short-term, end-in-sight, super-stress time, it is inevitably followed by illness.  And the illness’s intensity just might be linked to the intensity of the stress.  If so, oh, boy – this could be rough.  This time, however, I easily cancelled my plans for tomorrow (and earlier today).  I had one thing tonight that I wanted to make sure I did.  Otherwise, though, I have turned my next 36+ hours into sleep, water, and rest time.  I hope it saves me.
Post-a-day 2017

my kind of friends

I miss having friends like myself.  Life is just so much more exciting when they’re around.

Tonight, I found out that a friend was on his way home on the train.  I knew his route, so far as trains were concerned, and his final station was a small one, with only one exit.  So, even though we have plans to meet tomorrow evening, I thought I’d surprise him tonight.  I got two different types of tea (green and milk), cold from the store, and headed to his station.  Based on where he was when he had last mentioned to me that he was on his way home, I would be just in time to meet him, and I might possibly beat him by a good ten minutes to his station.

I was already on the first train he could have taken home, and he didn’t seem to be on that one.  So, once I arrived to his station, I checked out the exit options – yes, there is only one – and then found a place to settle down and read on the platform.

Almost an hour later, I am on my way home, still carrying both teas.  He didn’t show.  I don’t know what happened, and I likely won’t ever know, because we don’t entirely speak the same language.  And I think I really don’t mind so much that he didn’t show.  It’s more just that the whole thing made me miss my especially close friends, the ones who would have known that I was waiting at the station for them, simply because I had asked where they were beforehand.

The thing is, I don’t do well with packing.  I’m not sure what is in the way of it for me, but I almost always seem to resist packing.  I so desperately want to get myself packed up, and like right now, right now.  But I’ve been unsuccessful in doing that for the past three-ish weeks already.

The worst part of it this time is that it is stressing me out extremely, and I still can’t seem to get over whatever it is, and just pack.  So instead, I get to be stressed and to think of all hear things I miss and of all the things that drive me nuts here.

That’s all I have to say about that right now.
Post-a-day 2017

Worldwide Shipping

Tomorrow, my life is scheduled to alter.  A friend is coming over late morning, we’ll run a couple or few errands together, taking good advantage of her car’s being here, and then our plan is to pack up everything I no longer need for my daily life, but that I want to keep in my life once I have moved back to the US.  To me, it is a sort of marker for the official beginning of the end; an end to which I look forward with great enthusiasm.

There are certainly many, many…, and let’s throw in another many things and people that I will miss from here.  However, so much of my life here consists of my job, which I very much dislike as a whole, and my solo city and apartment, of which I am not a fan (I really dislike being solo in life.  I’m fine with a solo apartment, so long as I have regular interaction (like daily, often multiple times a day) with people I love and who love me.  That, however, is not at all the case in my life here.).  Therefore, I am greatly looking forward to the end of this bit of my life.

In an odd way, I have felt as though I have taken a year out of my life.  As opposed to this having been a year of my life, it feels like a year out of my life, as though we could hit pause and go on brief tangents in life.  (Perhaps it’s more like changing the channel briefly, always knowing that the real show is on the original channel.  Something like that.)

So, I find myself delighted to be packing up tomorrow, getting ready to move forward.  It allows me to let go of the material objects, as well as the concern of how to move them into the next part/s of my life (Think plane trips with insane amounts of baggage – this is about ten times worse than that.), and focus my attention and mental space on the people and world around me that I want to love as much as possible while I am here.  It has been difficult for me to love at times while being here, and that, in and of itself, has been a powerful lesson for me in my life – learning to love when all I want to do is throw a fit at how terrible and unloving a situation is to me.  I want to do what I can to love this world around me, while I have the chance, and I know that tomorrow is a good step in having that happen.

And I’m terrified.  In a wonderful way, of course.

 

Post-a-day 2017